People We Knew
by CattyJen
Summary: SEQUEL TO THINGS WE KNOW! Ten years later Sakura is married to her job and Gaara is miraculously still a jerk. Will these two ever get over themselves in time to realize that they're made for each other? GaaSaku AU
1. Chapter 1

**Well hello there my readers I'm glad to see you all again. The following story is the sequel to the story "Things We Know" So If you haven't read that story you might want to go check it out before you continue to read this one.  
**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto  
**

* * *

There were two things Dr. Sakura Haruno liked to do during her lunch break, and eating wasn't one of them.

Sakura didn't have time to eat during the day. If she wasn't working during her lunch break then it was surely a Tuesday and that meant she was three blocks down the street at her therapist's office.

No, Sakura wasn't crazy, far from it actually. She was young, brilliant, hardworking, and at the top of her field. She was the envy of all of her coworkers. That was until they learned, that Dr. Sakura Haruno had no life outside the laboratory. Dr. Sakura Haruno was completely and utterly alone.

That was why she needed therapy. There was no one else for her to talk to.

Sakura hadn't seen or heard from her family in at least five years. When Sakura was seventeen years old her mother had a miscarriage and it sent her over the edge. Sakura spent her first two years of college commuting from home because her mother couldn't handle being alone. Sakura should have resented her mother for making her life more difficult and more complicated, but it was hard to hate the only family you had left.

Just when Sakura thought she would be stuck carrying for her mother for the rest of her life Mrs. Haruno found a husband to mooch off of. It was too bad that he wasn't actually _her_ husband. But two years and a set of divorce papers later Mrs. Haruno had someone to share the rest of her life with and Sakura was free.

"Do you think that maybe you avoid relationships because they make you feel trapped? Did you feel like your mother had trapped you into living with her and taking care of her?" Dr. Soto asked.

Sakura squirmed and tried to make herself comfortable on her therapist's couch. Why the woman didn't have a nice recliner chair was beyond Sakura. "My mother didn't trap me. It was the situation that prevented me from staying in my small town and it was the situation that prevented me from moving out after college. My mother doesn't have that kind of power." She told the doctor.

"Okay then…" Dr. Soto scribbled something onto her notepad. "Are relationships an example of a situation you feel trapped in?"

"Not at all." Sakura said. "I have excellent professional relationships. I don't feel even the slightest bit trapped."

The doctor frowned. "Don't play stupid Sakura. We both know that we're talking about intimate personal relationships."

"Oh. Right." Sakura put a finger on her lip. "I guess there is some truth to that."

Sakura didn't have any problems making new friends or meeting men, she just didn't feel the need to invite anyone into her life. She kept her friends at a distance and she never dated a man for more then a couple of weeks. Lately, she only kept in contact with one or two old friends and she didn't date at all.

"I just don't have time to really invest in personal relationships." Sakura reasoned. "It's the opposing pressures of work and social life that make me feel like I don't have control."

"Do you feel like you're under a lot of pressure at work? Do you believe that your job is more stressful than other people's jobs?" Dr. Soto asked.

Not only did Sakura believe that her job was more stressful than other jobs, but she also believed that her work was more important too. "Approximately fifteen hundred people die from cancer and another three thousand people are diagnosed with cancer everyday in this country. The entire world is looking to us for a cure. We owe it to them to keep working until our souls are tired and our bodies break. So yeah, I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure."

Dr. Soto raised her eyebrows. "You honestly believe it's your personal responsibility to cure cancer?"

"No, but it is my personal responsibility to try. I entered this field because I believe that it's in our ability to cure these diseases. The lab I work in now is in one of the foremost cancer research institutes in the world. Every bit of effort I put in counts."

"I think you've brought up an important topic." Dr. Soto said. "You say you chose this career because you believe there is a cure."

Sakura nodded. "That's right."

"Then you knew how difficult and demanding your job would be."

"Absolutely."

"Then isn't it possible that you chose this career not just because it's a noble but also because it's an excuse to shut yourself up in a lab for twelve hours each day?"

"Well that's absurd-"

"You use your work as an excuse to isolate yourself from the rest of the world."

So? What was so wrong with making her work her life? There was no rule that said she had to integrate herself with the rest of the world. She was perfectly content with the balance (or lack thereof) she had between her work like and her social life. Sakura wasn't paying Dr. Soto three hundred dollars an hour to tell her she needed to work less and make more friends.

Sakura was satisfied with her life. But maybe that's what the problem was. She was _too_ satisfied. Things had gotten too easy for her.

Yes, her work was definitely challenging, but it wasn't intolerable. It was the opposite; Sakura's work was comfortable. Her _life_ was comfortable.

Every morning at six, Sakura woke up and took a shower. After she was dressed she would drink one and a half cups of coffee and leave the half empty mug in the sink.

She took the bus to work, not because she couldn't afford a car, but because she had never gotten around to buying one and didn't see the use. There was a direct bus rout from her apartment to the lab, and the lab was the only place she ever went, so there was really no need for a car.

She then spent the next twelve hours in the lab doing research or in the clinic with patients overseeing drug trials. Sakura tried to avoid venturing down to the clinic; it was one thing to see cancer in a Petri dish and another to see a tumor on a six-year-old girl's CT scan. She found that she had little to say to patients and never made the effort to strike up friendly conversation either. She just didn't see the point.

After work she stopped in and got take-out food from one of the little restaurants across the street from her building. Sakura only ate one meal a day and never got around to exercising, so she was hardly in good physical condition. Her poor diet and lack of exposure to sunlight left Sakura skinny ghost in a white lab coat.

It was no wonder that she hadn't had sex in three years.

When she was finished eating dinner, Sakura diligently cleaned her apartment and did her laundry. She figured that those activities counted as recreational because she played music while she worked and every so often she danced with her broom. But playtime never lasted more then an hour and before she knew it she was showering once more and then finally crawling into bed.

And this had been her entire life for the past year.

But it wasn't as if her life before she found her job had been a huge party. Working toward her PhD had taken an incredible amount of discipline, effort, and studying. There just wasn't time for anything else.

There was something inside of her, something driving her to keep pushing forward. It wasn't enough to just be the best anymore, she had to concentrate her efforts and excel farther than anyone else dared to go. She wanted to change the world.

So no, she didn't use her job as a way to avoid the real world. That was just a bonus.

"There is nothing else in this world that seems to hold my attention like my work. If there were something else that I wanted, well then, I would make time for it. But right now I have nothing, I _need_ nothing." Sakura tightened her fists. "I _like_ being alone."

"Sure you do." Dr. Soto sighed. "Sakura I really think-"

"Times up." Sakura cut in, rising to her feet. "Whatever extraordinary insight you have to share with me will have to wait until next Tuesday."

Dr. Soto looked at her watch. "Good call, Sakura. One p.m on the dot, as always."

Sakura clasped her hands together and smiled. "Well then, I guess I'll see you next week."

"One last thing, Sakura." Dr. Soto stopped her. "I've got some homework for you this week."

Sakura looked up curiously. "Homework?" She made a scramble for her blackberry. There's a term she hadn't heard in a while.

"Yes, homework. I want you to do something special today, something out of the ordinary. It can be something as small as getting a new haircut or something as big as getting a new job. Whatever it is, I want you out of your comfort zone. Do something that scares you."

"Something that scares you." The young scientist repeated while typing it into her planner. "Right. I'll be sure to get right to that."

"I look forward to hearing the results of your experiment, Dr. Haruno." Dr. Soto showed her the door. "Take care now."

Sakura smiled politely. "Thanks, you too."

* * *

Sakura had just sat down to a nice stack of paper work when she heard a gentle knock at her door. "Come in." she said without looking up from the file in front of her.

A man in a white lab coat walked into her office. "Dr. Haruno, may I have a moment of your time?" he asked.

Sakura looked up and saw that it was one of the senior scientists Dr. Sasori. "Of course, sir, have a seat." She motioned to the chair opposite her desk. "What can I help you with?"

There were only two reasons one of the senior scientists would visit you at your office, and Sakura knew she wasn't about to be fired.

"Thank you Dr. Haruno," he took his seat, "this shouldn't take long. You know how I hate to disturb the other scientists when they're working."

Sakura smiled. She liked Sasori; he had grown up in Suna, a town not far from where she had spent most of her childhood. "Please, sir, take your time. I also know that what you have to say is always worth listening to."

"With that being said, I'll get straight to the point." He cleared his throat. "Dr. Haruno, my superiors are continuously impressed with your work and your dedication. We all feel that you are ready to head your own study and want to give you a portion of our new grant to help you set up a trial."

Sakura was positively floored. Her own study? Her own trial? There were people who had been working in the lab for years and had never been given such an opportunity. It was unheard of that a first year scientist would be given such a position. It was an incredible honor. She was speechless.

"Now," Sasori continued, "this particular grant was awarded to us after we published our findings last year on childhood cancers."

"Yes, I remember reading those." Sakura said, getting a hold of herself. "You yourself wrote the section on Neuroblastomas. It was excellent. It was one of the reasons I applied for a position here in the first place."

"Well I'm glad you read the article, because we want you to design a study in response to the work we did with AML. We're prepared to let you choose a doctor from the clinic and a team of lab assistants to help with your experiment."

Her own team of lab assistants? My, the science god was certainly smiling down on her today. "What are my constraints?"

"We're giving you a year and one hundred patients. For some of the work I'm afraid you'll have to commute to Children's." Sasori explained.

Children's? As in Children's hospital? "Do you mean to say that my sample population is children?" she asked.

"Of course. Leukemia is the most common childhood cancer."

"Yes, it is." Sakura agreed. Which was why she wanted to have nothing to do with it.

Children scared Sakura. Sick children terrified Sakura. Most of the patients they saw in the clinic were adults. It was sad to watch grown men and women suffer and die, but it was heart breaking to watch that happen to children.

It made Sakura feel powerless.

"Well," Sasori said, standing up. " I'm sure you have lots of work to due. I'll be scheduling a meeting between you and the rest of the senior scientist on Thursday to discuss your study in full detail. Please have an outline of your plans ready by that time."

"No problem, sir." She leaned in to shake his hand. "Thank you, and I'll see you on Thursday."

Sasori shook her hand. "Yes, Dr. Haruno, and please keep up the good work."

"I will, sir. My work is my life."

* * *

Sakura was ecstatic. She couldn't get over how excited and proud she was to have been awarded her own study. She was the happiest she had been in at least a year. Dr. Sakura Haruno was on top of the world.

She couldn't wait until she told Dr. Soto about her new promotion. Maybe then the therapist would finally understand what Sakura's work really meant to her.

Sakura was in such a good mood that she decided she would actually play Dr. Soto's silly little game and do her 'homework' for the day. Which was how Sakura found herself leaving the lab two and a half hours early, and getting stuck between an old lady and a fat hotdog vendor on the bus ride home. How's that for uncomfortable?

She seriously considered stopping off at the animal shelter. Sakura had been contemplating for months whether or not she should buy a cat for her apartment. Celebration of her success seemed like the perfect excuse to buy an animal. And, as much as Sakura hated to admit it, she got lonely every once in a while. A cat would make a much better companion than a tiresome human.

But instead, Sakura went straight home to her building. If she was going to celebrate, she was going to do it by taking a long hot bath and reading the newspaper while she listened to Led Zeppelin. Maybe she would have a glass of wine and make it a real party.

The young scientist entered her apartment just in time to hear the phone ringing. Sometimes Sakura forgot that she even had a phone, that's how infrequently it rang. She debated whether or not she should pick it up. It was most likely a telemarketer, but on the off chance that it was one of her co workers with a break through or important question she decided it was worth the risk of having to listen to a three minute spiel about switching phone companies.

"Hello?" she said, picking up the phone.

"Sakura?" A familiar voice asked.

"Ino?"

"Yeah, it's me." Her old friend said.

There was a moment of silence. Ino liked to call every so often and check up on Sakura. They never really talked about anything in particular, and as the year went by, Sakura found she had less and less to say to her blond friend.

"Sakura? Are you there?" Ino asked.

"Yes, sorry, I was just uh… chewing something." She lied. "What's up Ino?"

"Well to be honest this really isn't a social call. You see, I'm actually in a little bit of trouble. I need your help."

Sakura straightened up. "What's wrong? Are you Okay?" She asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." Ino assured her. "I've just run into a problem at work."

"Oh, okay." Sakura felt relieved. Hanging out with cancer patients and neurotic scientists all day made her always assume the worst.

Ino was a wedding planner, a popular one at that. She did everything from small ceremonies to fancy parties. Like Sakura, Ino was completely devoted to her work. The woman spoke, ate, and slept weddings. She was constantly on the prowl for new jobs and new ideas. Ino loved her job. Sakura couldn't imagine what kind of crazy problems she encountered in her line of work.

"I'm in the middle of setting up for the biggest most extravagant party of my entire career and I've run into a bit of a snag." Ino said.

"Okay…" Sakura was having a difficult time figuring out where this could possibly be going.

"You see, I had a… _disagreement _with the company I use for my waiters and bartenders."

"Okay…" Did she want Sakura to mediate or something? That wasn't really her area of expertise.

"Anyways," Ino continued, "I've been calling in everyone I've ever worked with looking for replacements."

Uh oh. Sakura did not like where this was going.

"I'm still short a couple of waiters." The desperation was evident in her tone.

"I see…" Said Sakura. There was no way in hell that she was going to fill one of those positions.

"Sakura, before you say no, I want you to listen to me. This wedding is _the wedding_. It's huge, and if I do everything right this could be my gateway to celebrity weddings. I'm _begging_ you to do me this one favor."

The young scientist sighed impatiently. "I did not go to school for eight years to become a waitress. I have better things to do than holding a tray full of mini hot dogs in a room full of ungrateful snobs."

"Come on! Help me out! You waited tables at that trendy restaurant when you were living with your mom. If this is about money, I can pay you. _Please, Sakura_."

If Ino was phoning Sakura, then she really must be hard-pressed for help. Sakura felt herself caving. Maybe this was what Dr. Soto was talking about. This was definitely something out of the ordinary. Sakura was also a little scared to step into the shoes of a lowly waitress. The idea of a brilliant young scientist who sat in a laboratory all day studying retroviral oncogenes spending an entire even waiting on a wedding party sounded humiliating. Or would it be humbling? Was Sakura an intellectual snob? Was she even capable of waitressing anymore?

Sakura relented. "Ino Yamanaka, you are going to owe me so much after this one. You are going to be my slave for life."

"So you're going to save my career? You'll be one of my waitresses?

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be one of your waitresses. Where is this thing at and at what time?"

"It's in the grand ballroom at _L'hôtel de Diamant_ and I'll need you there by seven."

Sakura looked at her watch. It was already a little past six. She was going to have to leave as soon as she hung up if she was going to have any shot at making it to the hotel in time. She glanced down and saw that she still had on her work clothes. "Is there something special that I have to wear? Is there a uniform?"

"I've already taken care of it. All I need for you to do is show up and remain professional."

Sakura scoffed. She was the very epitome of professional. "Fine. But just so you know, I don't wear make up and I haven't had a professional haircut in over a year. So I hope you weren't looking for a sexy cocktail waitress."

"No worries. These people are a whole new breed of snobbery. You're the help, they won't see your face no matter how good or bad you look."

"By all means, Ino, keep talking. The more you move your mouth the more appealing this job gets." Sakura said sarcastically. "I'm excited now."

"You know what, my head is about to explode from all the pressure I'm under, so your attitude is no appreciated."

"Hey, _you're_ asking _me_ for a favor…"

"And I will be eternally grateful when all of this is over. So for now hang up that phone and get your butt over here so I can teach you to say all the names of the appetizers in French."

"Okay, Ino." Sakura said into the phone. "I'll see you soon."

* * *

"You weren't kidding when you said you looked like crap. God Sakura, when was the last time you saw a tube of lipstick, or a hairbrush for that matter. Isn't there some sort of dress code at this fancy laboratory you work at?" Ino asked. She busied herself with adjusting the neck of Sakura's uniform. "It's a shame you're as flat as a plank, these things usually look best with a little cleavage."

"I thought you said no one would be looking at me. And for your information no one cares what I dress like at the lab. We scientists are not slaves to vanity like the rest of this city. As long as we are showered, clothed, and do our work, nobody cares if we're attractive or not." Sakura tried not to sound offended. There was a time in her life she had actually thought of herself as pretty. When was it that she decided to let her looks go?

Ino rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying that you're unattractive. You just need to frown less and moisturize more."

"Whatever." Sakura said. She took a hair tie off of her wrist and used it pull her hair up into a bun. "I stopped caring about these things years ago."

"Okay." Ino handed Sakura a tray of champagne flutes. "Take this and walk slowly through the crowded of people. When you've handed out all the drinks stick around and be ready to pick up the empty glasses."

Sakura narrowed her eyes and stared the drinks. "Are those raspberries at the bottom of the glasses?"

"It's a rich people things." Ino pushed her to the door where guests were starting to trickle into the lobby for Hors d'œuvres. "Now go out there and be as unobtrusive as you can. And what ever you do, don't make conversations with the guests. It's not your place, you're just a waitress."

"No issue there." Sakura said humorlessly. "I want nothing to do with these people." She wanted nothing to do with people in general.

Sakura stepped out into the room and surveyed the crowd. Women were wearing ball gowns and men were wearing tuxedoes. It was probably the ritziest shindig that she had ever had the displeasure of attending.

While she handed out the champagne she allowed herself to ease drop and listen to little snippets of conversation. From the information she gathered she deducted that she was working at the wedding, or more appropriately _the merger_, between the son of one financial firm and the daughter of another. Both of the families were wealthier than god and were both wary of the intentions of the opposing family. There was a lingering doubt over whether the bride and the groom actually loved one another.

This was exactly why Sakura chose to stay out of societal affairs.

Sakura's mother may not have had the most elegant wedding, but Sakura could still tell that her mother loved her new husband very much and genuinely wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. It was respectable to say the least.

The bride was lovely and her dress probably cost more than Sakura made in a year. But everything about this woman seemed fake. Fake nose, fake breasts, fake laugh, and fake smile. Sakura wondered what I must be like to be made of silicon and misery.

For the most part, Ino was right; the guests generally ignored Sakura. A few of the female guests looked at her in a way that made her suspect she was being mocked, but Sakura didn't really mind. She knew that she was probably one of the smartest people in the room, and unlike these grubby handed money-loving toads Sakura was going to do something great with her life.

Okay, so maybe she was never going to find someone worth marrying. She was certainly never going to win any beauty or popularity contests. But still, at least she had her dignity. She had no regrets.

"Excuse me." Sakura heard a voice say. Her head shot up and looked for the source; it was a tall blond woman in a sleek black dress. "You with the pink hair." The woman said pointing to Sakura. "Are you deaf?"

"No, ma'am." Sakura said, rushing to the woman's side.

"God, what does it take to get a decent drink around here." The woman muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry?" Sakura asked.

"Look," the woman crossed her arms, "I need you to go back there and get me a drink with out the shit in it." She said, pointing to the kitchen. "Some of us don't eat fruit."

"Okay." Sakura said. "So you want champagne with out the raspberries?"

The woman gave a disgusted sigh. "That's what I just said, isn't it?"

"Of course, ma'am. I'll get right on it." What a bitch! She could have at least asked nicely for it and not given Sakura such an attitude. Having had been a waitress at one point in her life, Sakura was always careful to be extra nice to the hired help. Those people appreciated kindness more than anything else.

"Wait a minute." The woman grabbed the sleeve of Sakura's uniform. "Let me see if my dates wants something too." She turned and looked over her shoulder at a group of men talking in a circle. "Gaara," she called, "do you want me to ask this girl to get you some Pellegrino?"

_Gaara?_ Did she just say _Gaara_?

Sakura felt her heart stop.

A tall man broke away from the group and walked over to where Sakura and the woman stood. Sakura watched in horror as he put his arm around the woman's waist. He made it painfully obvious that they were indeed there together.

Gaara fixed Sakura with his bored stare. "Go get me a water." He ordered. "Make sure its cold, but with no ice."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. He was the same. The same red hair, the same light eyes, and the same frown. It was Gaara Sabaku; standing in front of her was Gaara Sabaku. Sakura could hardly breathe.

He was bigger than she remembered, taller looking and stronger looking too. His face once young and elegant looking, was now sharp and chiseled. He gave off an aura of strength, confidence and greatness.

He was probably the most beautiful man Sakura had ever seen.

"Am I missing something?" The woman asked. She looked at Sakura then at Gaara and then back at Sakura again. "Do you two know each other?"

Sakura opened her mouth but she was cut off before she could answer.

"I've never seen this girl before in my life." Gaara said coldly. He tightened his grip on the woman's waist.

Sakura was stunned. Did he not recognize her? How could he not recognize her?

The woman snapped her fingers in Sakura's face. "Can you please stop staring at my boyfriend and go get us our drinks?"

Sakura nodded dumbly before hurrying off in the direction of the kitchen. Her cheeks were red and she felt as if her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest. She was in shock. It's not that he didn't recognize her; it was that he was pretending not to know her. How could he pretend not to know her?

Of course he knew her! They grew up together! They dated! He broke her heart! How could he just stand there and deny it?

With shaking hands Sakura reached for an empty champagne flute and filled it half way to the brim. She then took another glass from across the counter and filled it with the sparkling water she found in the refrigerator.

She took a deep breath to steady herself. She was going to have to go back out there. She had to bring them their drinks. She had to face them again, after they had embarrassed her like that.

"You can do this, Dr. Haruno. It's just some snobby bitch and an asshole ex boyfriend. There is no reason for you to be upset about this. Just go out there and give them their drinks." She told herself. She could do this.

Sakura walked back out there and strode over to where Gaara and his date were waiting.

"What the hell took so long?" The woman took the drinks off the tray and handed on of them to Gaara. "Is this your first time waitressing, or are you just a moron?"

"No, I'm not actually a waitress." Sakura said. This was her chance to show these people who they were really insulting. "I actually… uhh… I clean houses."

_What?_ What did she just say? Did she momentarily lose brain function or something? Did she just tell them, that she was _a cleaning woman_? Not that cleaning houses wasn't a respectable job, it's just that it's not something you found people with PhDs doing.

"You kind of look like the old woman who used to scrub the toilettes at my house." The woman smiled nastily. "You smell a little bit like her too."

Sakura felt her cheeks turning red once more. For this woman to say such things about her… and in front of Gaara Sabaku!

"Thank you." She forced a smile. "Please enjoy the party."

Sakura tried to play it cool by drifting over to other crowded of people and picking up empty champagne flutes, but as soon as she was out of the couples view she dashed back into the kitchen to find Ino.

"I can't stay here." She said when she finally found the blond.

Ino looked as if she were doing a million things at once. She had her cell phone in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. "Sakura," she said, "I really don't have time for this."

"I'm serious Ino, I have work to do, and I have work in the morning. Really Ino, I can't stay here." She said, sounded quite urgent.

"You can't do this to me." Ino wailed. "I already explained to you how important this is to me."

"But Ino! _I_ just explained this to _you_. I can't stay. You have to let me go home."

"What's going on?" Ino finally caught the distress in Sakura's voice. "What happened? Did some drunkard pinch your butt or something? Because if its something stupid like that, you can really just-"

"Gaara Sabaku is here."

Ino dropped the cell phone and the flowers. "You're kidding me! Gaara from Konoha?"

"Of course Gaara from Konoha. How many other Gaara's do you know?"

"Well what the hell is he doing here? He wasn't on the guest list."

"I don't know. He's here with some woman. She called him her boyfriend. Ino, you have to let me go."

Ino bent down to pick up the items she dropped. "I had no idea he was going to be here. Honestly, if I had known I would never have asked you to do this for me."

"So I can leave? You won't hate me for abandoning you?"

"No." Ino sighed. "Just make sure to wash that uniform and get it back to me."

"Of course." Said Sakura. "I'll drop it off at your place next week. And thanks for understanding Ino."

"Don't worry about it. If I saw Choji at one of these things I'd probably have a heart attack. Just answer me one thing…"

"Mmm?"

"How's he looking?"

Sakura put her hand over her eyes in despair. "He's walking and talking sex. He looks amazing."

"All right, you need to get out of here right now. Go home and pretend none of this ever happened. The last thing you need to do is relive memories of that little psycho."

"Thanks again for understanding." She leaned in and gave Ino a quick hug. "And don't worry, Gaara Sabaku means nothing to me."

Absolutely nothing.

* * *

**WELL I hope that lived up to everyone's expectations! If not... just pretend this never happened.**

**And I'm just going to say right here and right now that I don't know _anything _about science. The scientist stuff I talk about in this story... I'm just sort of guessing and making things up. So don't get upset if I get something wrong. Go ahead and let me know if it's that important to you, but just know its my ignorance and that I'm not trying to offend anyone.**

**I really have a long list of people I should thank. I got so many reviews and messages at the end of Things We Know that I felt really happy and special. I never knew so many people liked my silly little epic drama story. Thats what motivated me to write this sequel so quickly.**

**Honestly though, the next chapter might not be out for a week or so. I want to take a little break from writing and start to do my homework again. **

**AND super thanks to the people who's reviews included suggestions for jobs and such for the sequel especially to _Ednama _who gave me the idea to have Ino as a wedding planner. **

**so leave your love at the door and let me know what you think.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Good morning all! **

**I had a party in my dorm last night because my roommate was visiting her parents and now everything is a giant mess! What's more is that there are three Irish study abroad boys who didn't feel like taking the bus back to their own school and never left my room. Two of them are playing xbox and one of them is asleep in my bed. I'm really not sure what to do with them. Should I go get them breakfast I wonder? I don't really even know these boys. Hmm. Anyways...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"Sakura!" Dr. Soto exclaimed, her mouth agape. "You look fantastic!"

"Really?" Sakura tugged at her hair nervously. "You don't think it's too much?"

Dr. Soto shook her head. "Not at all Sakura, it's perfect. I didn't know you had it in you to look this good. What happened?"

"Well," Sakura said, setting herself down on the couch, "it occurred to me last week that I've been neglecting my personal appearance. So, this past weekend I went on somewhat of a spending spree."

The therapist sat down in her chair and picked up her notebook. "So this is all new? New clothes? New shoes?"

"New clothes, new shoes, new make up, new haircut, new manicure, the works." Said Sakura. "I figure that if I have all this money in my fat bank account then why shouldn't I put it to good use and pamper myself? I mean, I'm a nerd, but that doesn't mean I have to dress like one."

"I see…" Dr. Soto jotted something down in her notebook. "And what brought this on? Did something special happen?"

Where to begin… Sakura tapped her chin. "I got a promotion…"

"That's wonderful, congratulations, Sakura."

"It _is_ wonderful. I get to design my own study and I'm going to be in charge of my own patients. It won't be too long before I'm applying for my own grants and running my own laboratory. This is a big step up for me. I couldn't be happier.

"We've already established that professional success brings you personal satisfaction, but this is the first time you've had such a reaction to it. I think this goes to show how far you've come. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your job."

"It's like I had some sort of epiphany. I love my job; therefore I want to look good for my job. It's not just about looking good to other people, it's also about being the best I can be at work." And in the off chance that she was ever going to run into another character from her past, she wouldn't look like a ghoul.

"Oh." Dr. Soto's smile faded. "So this is just about achieving more professional success?"

Sakura nodded. "Absolutely. What else could it possibly be about?"

"Right." Dr. Soto wrote something else down in her book. "So how about your homework? Was this make-over your idea of getting out of your comfort zone?"

Sakura's back stiffened. "No, I did something else for that assignment, something stupid."

"I'm all ears, Sakura."

"Umm, you see… a friend called me, Ino."

"Ino, your old friend from Konoha?" Dr. Soto interrupted.

"Yes, that's the one." Sakura fidgeted for a moment before settling back down. "So anyways, she calls me and asks me to help her out and be a waitress at this wedding she was coordinating."

"And you said 'no' of course."

"Actually, I told her 'yes'."

"Really? So you were a waitress at a wedding. How did that make you feel?"

"Umm." Sakura was thoughtful for a moment. "It was a little embarrassing." And by little she meant a lot of course. "I guess it's been a while since I did the same work as a high school dropout."

Dr. Soto frowned. "So you think service industry work is beneath you?"

"No." Said Sakura slowly. "I think it's perfectly respectable work. I just didn't kill myself in college studying to serve drinks and carry plates."

"Did you still try your best? How did people treat you?"

"Of course I tried my best." Sakura was appalled that her therapist would even suggest otherwise. "But I was treated as if I wasn't even there, or as if I was dirt."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"For the most part, I didn't care."

"When did you start to care?"

Sakura looked at her watch. Damn, they had at least forty-five minutes left in their secession. There was no way Sakura was going to be able to get away with not talking about this. "I ran into a some guy I knew, he was a guest at the party." She shrugged. "I guess I was a little embarrassed to see him again under such circumstances."

Dr. Soto looked up from her notebook. "Was this a man you know from work? Another scientist perhaps?"

Sakura shifted uncomfortably. "No, umm, actually he was someone I knew from Konoha. We sort of dated a little."

"Sasuke Uchiha?"

"No." They had already dedicated many sessions to that asshole Sasuke Uchiha. Dr. Soto was less than impressed with the way he treated women. "It was another guy. We only dated briefly, it really wasn't that big of a deal."

"How did he react to seeing you again?"

Sakura's cheeks turned red. "He pretended not to know me."

"Oh dear." Dr. Soto put down her notebook. "Do you think it was maybe just that he didn't recognize you?"

"I have pink hair." Sakura deadpanned. "And also, we lived in the same town for almost ten years. Konoha isn't that big."

"How long exactly did you date for?"

"Three or four months."

"That's much longer than any of the relationships you've had since moving to the city." A funny look flashed on Dr. Soto's face. "Was he the last boyfriend you had before leaving Konoha?"

"Yes…" Said Sakura casually. "I believe he was."

"Things ended badly between you two." Guessed Dr. Soto.

"What? No…" Sakura waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "We both knew it was over and we agreed that it was in both of our best interests to just break up. We weren't that serious to begin with.

"So your two weren't in love?"

"Love? No way! It was just a really casual relationship. We were barely even friends."

"Was your relationship sexual?"

"You know, I honestly don't remember. It was a really long time ago."

Sometimes, if Sakura closed her eyes she could still feel Gaara's cold hands and needy kisses.

"I see." She picked up her notebook again. "So you can't think of any reason why he would deny association with you.

"None. There is no reason."

"Well then, I'm just as stumped as you are. Maybe it's best not to dwell on these things. This is a boy you knew ten years ago. You're a different person now."

"You're right. I just did something strange that I don't understand." Sakura let out a short laugh. "I told him that I was a cleaning woman."

Dr. Soto's jaw dropped for the second time in one session. "You told him you were a cleaning woman?"

Sakura buried her face in her hands. "I have no idea why I would do something like that."

"Probably because you like lying so much."

"What?" Sakura asked, wondering if her she had heard her right.

"You use lying as a defense mechanism." Dr. Soto explained. "You use lies as a way of pushing people away from you. You were protecting yourself."

It was ironic. Maybe she should have thought to protect herself ten years ago when he turned her heart into hamburger meat. Not that their relationship meant anything to her.

"Just so you know," said Dr. Soto, "there is no rule that says your not allowed to lie to your ex boyfriends. You don't owe him the truth."

She didn't owe Gaara anything, except perhaps, a good slap in the face. Gaara Sabaku was really wracking up a slap debt.

"I'm not worried about it." Sakura assured her therapist. "And I've definitely moved on."

If ever by some cruel twist of fate Sakura had to face that awful boy again, she was going to take the high road and look right past him. She was going not only pretend she didn't know him; she was going to pretend he didn't even exist.

* * *

Things had gone well with her meeting last Thursday. The outline she had designed for her trial had gone over very well with her bosses. They gave her permission to start right away.

The purpose of Sakura's study was to compare the good and bad effects of two standard cancer drugs, daunorubicin and cytarabine combined with a new drug midostaurin, in order to see which combination was better. Patients were either going to receive one of the two standard drugs combined with the experimental drug or one of the standard drugs combined with a placebo known as a sugar pill. Neither Sakura, her team, nor the patients would know whether or not they were given the new experimental drug.

Sakura's patients were a group of one hundred children newly diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia or AML. AML was an aggressive cancer typically fatal within weeks or months if left untreated. Sakura knew the children that she would be working with were very sick and had only around a fifty percent five-year survival rate and a fifty percent chance or relapse.

She knew she was going to have to remain professional and detached when it came to working with the patients. The purpose of the trial wasn't to make friends with them; it wasn't even to cure them. Sakura was supposed to study them, and study their bodies' reactions to the medicine she would be giving them.

The oncologist Sakura had chosen to work with was Dr. Kabuto Yakushi. Kabuto was actually pretty creepy. It wasn't really anything obvious that he did, and maybe Sakura was just imagining things, but something about him just wasn't right. He was too nice, too friendly, and too helpful. It made Sakura nervous.

But he was the best. He was hands down the smartest doctor on staff and the obvious choice for working with children. Like Sakura, Kabuto was excellent.

"That was the last patient, Dr. Yakushi." Sakura said after her research assistants finished registering the participants.

"Please, call me Kabuto. We're going to be working with each other for a while, we might as well get comfortable." He said with a wide smile.

She knew that wearing make-up and designer shoes was a mistake. The way he was looking at her made her feel anything but comfortable. "Okay, Kabuto." Sakura forced a smile. "Maybe you could tell me a little bit about your experience working with AML?"

"I think you what you really want to ask me about is about my experience working with children."

He was right. She had seen AML plenty of times underneath a microscope and she had read about it in countless medical journals. She new everything about there was to know about the disease.

It was children that she knew nothing about.

Sakura had completely given up on the idea that she would ever be a mother and have children of her own. She knew that she didn't necessarily have to have a husband or a man in order to get pregnant, and she could always adopt if that didn't work out… but it just wasn't going to happen.

It's not that she didn't want to have a family. Sakura just knew that she couldn't give a child the attention it deserved. Who would take care of her child when she was working all day and night in the lab? It would be inconvenient to have a child to worry about.

Even if she wasn't busy with work, there was still a good chance that Sakura would be an incompetent mother. Her own mother was so messed up who's to say that Sakura wouldn't be exactly the same way? She couldn't take that risk.

"I guess you're right." Sakura conceded. "What's it like to work with children?"

"It's not so much working with children as it is working with their parents. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a child with cancer. These parents are terrified that their precious children are going to die. They're desperate and will do anything that that they think will increase their children's chance of survival. They're going to be rude and pushy and they're going to be vulnerable and pathetic. You're going to have to be there to steady them. If for some reason you think that you're going to be unable to do that then perhaps it's best that you stay in your lab and let your assistants handle the legwork."

She was Dr. Sakura Haruno; there wasn't anything that she couldn't do. There was no way she was going to stay in the laboratory and let someone else do the work. How could she have even considered it? That was a coward's way of dealing with things, not Dr. Haruno's.

"There won't be a problem. Hysterical parents don't scare me. I'm a woman of science, I can steady anyone." God, she hoped she was right about that.

"You're going to have to be reassuring to the children too. They're just as scared as the parents, and most of them don't understand their disease. They're going to be miserable and in pain, you need to show them kindness but remain professional. What ever you do, always smile. Don't let them know if they're getting worse or they're dying. If they lose hope and give up it might adversely affect your results." Kabuto put his hand on her shoulder. "I've heard good things about you, and I know your smart. You can handle this."

Was he serious or was he just using his oncologist mind games on her to build up her confidence and prevent her from letting herself fail? Either way, if he didn't remove his hand soon he was going to lose it.

"Thanks, Kabuto." Said Sakura. "I have a good feeling about this. Everything will work out, I'm sure of it."

"It's good to hear optimism from you. You're going to need it."

* * *

After she finished her work in the clinic Sakura brought the files back up to her office so she could read them, alphabetize them, and check to make sure everything was filled out correctly. If there was one thing Sakura had learned since she started working at the lab it was that you couldn't trust your underlings not to screw up.

Sakura caught a glimpse of her reflection in the shine of a metal paperweight on her desk. She wondered if taking charge of her image meant she falling back into the person she used to be before she left Konoha. Before she started dating Gaara.

She had forgotten what it was like being pretty. She had forgotten how to use eyelash curlers and how to shop for the right underwear to wear under the right skirt to go with the right blouse. It was kind of like finding your old favorite shirt and putting it on and seeing that it still fit.

It was addictive. Once Sakura saw how healthy she looked with color on her lips and cheeks she decided she had to have a suit that made her look equally as good. And if one suit made her feel good wouldn't two suits make her feel even better? What about a pair of designer jeans? Or maybe a cute designer dress? A cashmere sweater?

Looking good was easy if you had a little money. And doing this one frivolous thing had not affected her work performance. Maybe, just maybe she could squeeze in another couple of things to make her life feel more complete.

She didn't mean squeezing in another person, no, there wasn't any energy left for that. But perhaps there was a hobby out there that would suit her. She could take up stamp collecting or model airplane building.

Or she could just stick with shoes. God she had forgotten how gloriously painful it was to wear designer shoes.

Sakura leaned back in her chair and tried to balance her pen on the tip of her nose. Maybe she would go get that cat. The people in her building could then refer to her as 'that attractive scientist with a cat'. That would be pretty cool.

Just then the door to Sakura's office flung open and the sight of the person standing in the frame caused Sakura to fall out of her chair and onto the soft-carpeted floor.

It was that jackass Gaara Sabaku.

"Shit." Sakura whispered. She tentatively looked over the edge of her desk to make sure it wasn't just her mind playing tricks on her.

No, it was Gaara. Sakura didn't think it was possible, but he looked even better than he did the week before.

She had always found Gaara attractive. She used to marvel at how his eyes looked both blue and green, and how his hair was so red against his white skin. All she could see now was an icy glare. It was different than what she had remembered. Whereas before it had conveyed fiery red-hot anger, it was now cool and disdainful.

She was surprised to see he wasn't wearing black. Dark wash jeans, grey shirt, leather jacket- it was just the way that the clothes hung on his body, the way they hinted at the muscles underneath. But when Sakura pictured the man under those clothes all she could think about was a skinny teenager covered in bruises and the way they felt under her lips when she gently kissed them.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gaara demanded, obviously un amused by her behavior.

Sakura felt her face get hot. Did the universe really hate her that much? "Ah, sorry I slipped." She picked herself up and dusted imaginary dirt off of her lap. She smiled politely. There was really no reason they couldn't get along. It was true that the last time they had had an actual conversation he had made her feel so terrible she wanted to die, but they were both adults now. He was probably here to apologize for being such a dick. "Can I help you with something?" she asked.

Gaara stepped into the office and closed the door behind him. He crossed the room and stood opposite Sakura desk.

"Have a seat." She offered, gesturing toward the chair next to him.

Gaara remained standing.

Ok then… so much for pleasantries. Judging by sneer on his face he wasn't here to catch up and reminisce. "So, how did you find me?" She asked. "Did you-"

"Stay away from me." He said, harshly silencing her.

Sakura was taken aback. She wasn't used to being cut off and she wasn't expecting this attitude.

"I don't know what the hell you were doing at that wedding," he said, "and I don't want to know. So this is how this is going to go. Don't speak to me, don't try to contact me, and don't even look at me. Stay the hell away from me."

The venom in his tone burned, it ignited something inside of her. Sakura felt her cheeks grow even redder. She wasn't going to let him do this, not again. "Who _the fuck_ do you think you are?"

His face hardened. "I just came her to tell you-"

"You just came here to tell me what?" she interrupted, her voice rising and tinged with indignation. "Let me get this straight, you looked me up, found out my address, and then came to the place I work in order to tell me to stay away from you? Do you have shit for brains?"

He clenched his fists. "You don't understand."

"You're right." She said. "I don't understand. I don't understand what makes you think you have the right to tell me what to do."

Sakura was mad. Sakura was _livid_. She wasn't going to let him get away with treating her like this. He may have walked all over her and embarrassed her that other night, but that was not going to happen again, not in her laboratory.

This was the place she had built with her dreams. She worked for this for eight long years. This was her sanctuary. Who was he to barge into _her_ office and demands things of her? To disrespect her. To use that tone on her.

Gaara moved closer to the desk and fixed her with a level stare. "I don't have to explain myself to you. If I say stay away from me then you stay away from me. It's simple, I shouldn't have to say it twice."

Sakura scoffed. "Are you kidding me? You think you can just waltz in here and give me orders? You're damn right you have to explain yourself to me."

"Just shut up and do what I say." He growled.

"Fuck yourself!" she shouted back.

Gaara ran his hand though his hair in frustration. "You're going to ruin everything!"

"_Excuse me?_"

"I'm not the same person I was back then!" He shouted. "I'm a man now. I have a good life now. I don't need you coming in and wrecking everything."

"You're right." Sakura shook with rage. "You're not the same person you were back then. Back then you were just a stupid kid. But you know what? You did a lot of really hurtful things, but you would have never done something as despicable as pretending not to know me. You're a grown man and you did that." She wrinkled her nose. "Gaara Sabaku you are disgusting."

He banged his fist against her desk. "I don't have to acknowledge you! You're nobody to me!"

For some unknown reason her anger began to dissipate. He looked like a monkey hitting the desk like that. And more than that he was wrong. Sakura was not nobody. Maybe it has slipped her mind the last time they had spoken because she was in that dopey waitress's uniform, but Sakura was certainly somebody.

Sakura laughed. "Maybe you do have a life now. Maybe you've got nice clothes, a good job and a pretty girlfriend, but don't think for a moment that any of that means something. I didn't care about any of that then and I still don't care about any of that now. Those things don't make you a man; _you_ make you a man." She shook her head. "But you're not a man Gaara, you're a coward and you're still a child."

Sakura felt even more laughter bubbling up inside of her. It had been a long time since she had seen anyone this angry.

"You haven't changed at all." He spat. "You're still a stupid bitch who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut."

She laughed again. "I don't know what's funnier, the idea that I care what you think or the idea that I would actually want to have anything to do with you. Because really, Gaara, I want even less to do with you now then ever before."

"Then just stay the away from me."

"With pleasure." She pointed to the door. "Now get the fuck out of my office."

"If you see me on the street-"

"Shut up and get out." Sakura had already sat down and was busying herself with the files and paperwork. She didn't need to hear this kind of shit from him. She was so finished with Gaara Sabaku.

Which was why she kept her eyes fixed on the paper in front of her, because for some reason she couldn't bear to watch him walk out that door.

* * *

After her latest encounter with Gaara Sabaku, Sakura was curiously light headed and felt as if she needed a good dose of fresh air. She soon found herself walking aimlessly through the memorial garden behind the laboratory.

She couldn't stop thinking about him.

But she had to. No good could possibly come from occupying her mind with thoughts of Gaara Sabaku.

Sakura sighed. She could have lived her entire life with out seeing him again and she would have been content. If he had just been polite when they ran into each other at the wedding they could have said goodbye and never crossed paths again.

But this, this was a headache.

"Excuse me? Dr. Haruno?" a voice asked.

Sakura turned around. The voice belonged to nicely dressed man with a blond ponytail. Sakura knew she was supposed to know who he was but she couldn't remember his name. "Ah, hello …"

"Deidara." The man supplied.

"Of course." Sakura smiled. "You're Sasori's…"

"Life partner." Deidara laughed. "I guess wife works too."

Sakura nodded. "Right. I remember now, I met you at the holiday party. You're an artist. A _good_ artist."

The blond man laughed again. "I'm a good artist, yeah. And you're a good scientist."

Sakura blushed. She needed to watch what she said in front of her boss's partner. "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I've just been having one of those afternoons." She said.

"I'll bet." Deidara eyes twinkled. "I saw him coming out of your office."

Sakura paled. "Oh god, you didn't hear any of that did you?" She should have remembered not to shout. The walls weren't exactly thin in her office, but one could never be too careful.

"No, but you've piqued my curiosity. How do you know Gaara Sabaku?" he asked.

"How do _you_ know Gaara Sabaku?" she replied without thinking.

Deidara cocked his head to one side and gave her an unreadable look. "I don't know him personally, but he's kind of famous."

Gaara was famous? How did she not know about this? "Famous?" she asked in disbelief. "Gaara? What for?"

Deidara lead her to a bench where the both sat down. "He wrote that book, yeah, that best seller…"

"Gaara Sabaku is a _best selling author_?" When did this happen?

"_The Darkest Storm_." He said. "That's the name of the book, _The Darkest Storm._ Everyone's read it. It's on Oprah's booklist."

How in the hell did she miss Gaara becoming a famous author? Where the hell was she when all of this happened.

Actually, it wasn't all that unusual that Sakura missed out on something in the pop culture world. She didn't even notice the country electing a new president. Her work really had consumed her life.

"Wow." She whispered. "So that asshole really made something of himself. Wow."

"I take it you're not a fan of his work?" Deidara asked.

"Oh," Sakura straightened up, "no I'm sure whatever he's written is amazing. He's a gifted writer." She grimaced. "But he's also the meanest bastard on the planet. I'm not a fan of _him_."

"My friends in the literary circle don't have good things to say about his personality either. "He's got a reputation, yeah."

"What kind of reputation?"

"They say that he's cold, unforgiving, cruel, and uncompassionate. He refuses to do book signings or interviews. Even his publicist is afraid of him."

That wasn't the Gaara she knew. Sure, he had been a little dark back then, but he wasn't evil. He had been really kind and caring in his own backward Gaara way.

"And he's going out with that heiress, yeah, the one that's always in the society pages. They call her the ice queen. Completely unbearable. She's the only child of some shipping company executive. She's been spoiled rotten since the day she was born. The only reason people put up with her is because she's an avid philanthropist. She and Sabaku have been dating for months. They're always together."

Deidara must be talking about that woman from the wedding. She had certainly been very beautiful, but Sakura had no doubt she was ugly on the inside. She actually took pleasure out of humiliating Sakura. What kind of person does that?

Maybe they deserved each other.

Still, the idea of Gaara with another woman made her feel queasy. At least he was with someone Sakura could have no problem hating.

"I don't know how to feel about all of this." Sakura said aloud. "I don't know whether to feel happy or sad for him." Maybe it would be better if she didn't feel anything at all.

"You are or _were _friends with Gaara Sabaku?" Asked Deidara.

"We grew up together." Her insides felt hollow when she heard him speak that name.

"You were lovers, yeah?" he asked innocently.

Sakura coughed. "No. No, we just went to school together. We barely knew each other."

"Is that so?" He looked at her slyly out of the corners of his eyes. "You're pretty worked up over a guy that you barely know."

Sakura shook her head. "It's not like that. I'm just surprised that someone from my little town has made it so far. Aside from living in Konoha together we were really just strangers."

"Okay." Deidara seemed to be taking this into some sort of consideration. "Why did he go through the trouble of finding you? What reason did he have for paying you a visit?"

"I guess…" she exhaled. "I guess he just wants to make sure I'm not going to do anything to mess up this apparently good thing he's got going on. He has a life of his own now and he doesn't want anything or anyone from Konoha bringing up the past. He's moved on, and I can respect that. I would do the same thing if I were him." Or not.

Deidara stretched out his limbs and looked up at the sky. "Sasori doesn't talk much about Suna. I think his memories of his hometown are very painful. If someone from Suna were to drudge up the past and threaten the life we have now I would not react kindly."

They sat in silence. Despite everything that had happened between them, despite the way he continuously hurt her, Sakura really just wanted him to have a good life. That's all she had ever wanted for him. If he was reacting to her this way because he was scared and wanted to protect himself, then it was probably best to just do what he said and leave him alone. But in all honesty she had no intention of taking a stroll down memory lane with him. She had built a good life for herself too and she didn't have room for the likes of Gaara Sabaku.

But the way things had gone down between them left a bad taste in her mouth. As he gave her more and more reasons to hate him Sakura was beginning to realize that she was weak. No matter how angry she was with him, she could not bring herself to truly hate him.

Sakura left work early again. There was something she needed to pick up on her way home. Something at the bookstore.

* * *

**So I hope everyone enjoyed reading that! I updated much more quickly than I anticipated I would. I just got so many reviews saying people liked my story that I couldn't resist blowing off my homework and writing more. So next time, the update actually will be slower because I have midterms. **

**I hope I'm not making anyone miserable with this gloomy writing. I know it seems like they're never going to get together, but you'll just have to wait and see ;) Sakura is in major Denial **

**Oh also, I totally made up all that psychology stuff. I've taken a psychology class and I've been to group, but I know nothing about real therapy, so I have NO idea what I'm talking about. And the science stuff I took from a real clinical trial, that if for some bizarre reason you're interested in, you can find it at ..  
**

**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS BTW. I really love them. I read everyone of them and smile. :D  
**

**So leave a review, let me know what you think, and I'll see you all again once school takes a break.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey readers, here is another chapter for you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"I can't believe you forgot to tell me he was a famous novelist." Said Sakura into the phone.

"I thought you knew." Ino replied. "The book has been popular for months now. I'm surprised that this is the first you're hearing of this."

Sakura flopped backwards onto her mattress and sighed. What was it about talking to Ino in her pajamas that made her feel fifteen again? "What can I say? It seems that I live under a rock."

Ino laughed. "You know sometimes I think you do."

Living under a rock was fine until someone moves the rock and you realize that you're actually living under a rock.

"Besides, what's it matter? I told you to forget about him. Seeing Gaara Sabaku was a one-time thing. This city is big, the chances of you two meeting again are slim to none."

"He came to my office, Ino. He barged right in."

"What?" a shocked Ino asked. "He actually came to the lab? What did he want? Did he apologize?"

"He yelled at me." Sakura said in a small voice. "He ordered me to stay away from him. He embarrassed me again."

"Sakura, I'm sorry." Ino sympathized. "He has no right to keep doing that to you."

"Yeah, well that's never stopped him before." Sakura closed her eyes. "He's made everything into a mess. He could have just asked me politely at the wedding to keep a distance and I wouldn't feel this terrible. He's in my life again."

"No, Sakura, he's not in your life again. You're going to think about him for a couple of days, maybe weeks, and you're going to feel a lot of silly emotions but then it will all go away. Things will go back to the way they were, and you'll be happy."

Did it really work that way? Did Sakura even want things to go back to the way they were? The rock had been moved, it couldn't be undone. She was going to have to find a way to adjust.

"Maybe… I mean, I lived peacefully in Konoha for years when I just knew him as the weirdo who sat in the back of the classroom. I can live peacefully in the city just knowing him as that terrible writer." Said Sakura.

"What do you mean terrible writer?" Asked Ino.

"Oh, I read his book last night."

"And…?"

Sakura laughed. "Ino, it's a piece of crap. And I'm not just saying that as an ex girlfriend, I'm saying that as a young intellectual. It sucks."

"Really? But it's gotten such good reviews!"

"It's well written, and the technique is brilliant, but the story itself is dreadful. Gaara must really be a miserable son of a bitch to write something this dismal. It shouldn't be called _The Darkest Storm_, it should be called _The Dumbest Book Ever Written._"

"What's it about?" A curious Ino asked.

"It's kind of like, _The Perfect Storm_ meets _Moby Dick_. The story centers around this angry sea captain who loses his crew in this storm, so he sails spends the rest of his life chasing storms around the ocean and reminiscing about his childhood and his days in the navy."

"That doesn't really sound like the makings of a bestseller to me." Said Ino doubtfully. "What happens in the end?"

"The sea captain runs out of provisions, slips into delirium, jumps off the boat, and drowns."

Ino gasped. "Are you serious? That sounds awful! Who would want to read that?"

"I know! I kept waiting for the sea captain to take hold of his life and do something constructive, but it never happened. It was a little aggravating."

"Well, you've got me convinced. That's one book I won't be buying."

"There was one good thing about it."

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't dedicated to that society girl."

"Ohhh, you mean The Ice Queen."

"You know her too?"

"I've heard of her. The city magazine did an article about her. She went to some fancy boarding school in France and speaks like five different languages. She has a master degree in English from Harvard and she's had several of her short stories published in prestigious literary magazines. Oh, and she modeled for a couple of years too."

So basically, she was perfect. Damn. Sakura went to Konoha Senior High and PS 118, hardly considered esteemed learning institutions. She only spoke one language (unless science jargon counted) and she was way to short to be a model.

At least she had also gone to a good university and had been published in her fair share of science journals. That had to account for something.

"I met her at that wedding. She's mean, really mean." Said Sakura.

"Everyone I've worked with who knows her seems to think the same thing. She thinks the world revolves around her." Ino sighed. "But seriously Sakura, don't go comparing yourself to her. This thing with Gaara is bad news. I know you're disciplined, keep your mind away from it."

Sakura rolled over and lifted the book off of her nightstand. "There is a little paragraph about him on the back cover."

"I hope you restrained yourself and didn't read it."

Sakura ignored her. "He was with the Marine Corps for four years. That's probably why he looks so jacked. Can you imagine what he probably looked like in uniform?"

"This is bad." Ino said in a disapproving tone. "You need to stop thinking about him."

"He went to some liberal arts college and got a degree in the humanities. Can you imagine him as a student?"

"Oh god, this is like junior year all over again. You gush on and on about how great he is and then you let him stomp all over your heart. You can't continue with this. Seriously, it's not good for you. You can't let this fester and grow into an obsession. You're just going to get hurt again.

"I know, I know. This isn't going to grow into anything. I don't have the energy to feel anything but curiosity when it comes to Gaara Sabaku. This is the same reaction I would have if I were to see Sasuke Uchiha again. It's just fun to see how everyone's lives have turned out. Said Sakura. "And besides, you said it yourself, this is going to end in a couple days and I'll never see him or think about him. I'm not stupid enough to play with fire again."

"Good. That's exactly what I wanted to hear from you. See, I knew I had nothing to worry about."

Right, just say 'no' to Gaara Sabaku.

"Okay then, lets talk about science."

Ino groaned. "Don't make me totally regret picking up the phone."

Sakura laughed. It felt good to have a girlfriend again.

What else was she missing out on?

* * *

Ino was right, work began to consume Sakura's life once more and she forgot all about Gaara Sabaku. Well, she didn't really _forget_ about him, it was more that she pushed him to the back of her mind.

That was really where he had always been.

But every moment that she wasn't eating, sleeping, or in therapy, she devoted to her study.

She knew all of her patients by first name as well as their families. She kept herself updated on all of their conditions and personally went over every little detail that went down in their files. Nothing went on without her knowledge or approval.

Sakura discovered something that she wouldn't have believed had she not tried it. Sakura Haruno was _excellent_ with children. They loved her. They adored her. She was their favorite person in the hospital. One little boy's parents told her that their son had confided in them that he had every intention of marrying Dr. Haruno as soon as he got better. Sakura was finding it hard to go to work with out a smile.

Her favorite patient by far was a little girl named Naomi. Naomi was a ward of the state so she had a social worker come check on her every so often but for the most part she was all alone.

That did not go over very well with Sakura.

"I brought you a present today, Naomi." Sakura sat down on the chair beside the little girl's bed and handed her a small box with a bow wrapped around it.

Naomi smiled widely and took the box out of Sakura's hands. She carefully undid the bow and took the top off of the box. She gasped when she saw what was inside. "Dr. Haruno! Is this real gold? I've never had anything made out of real gold before."

Sakura took the bracelet out of the box. "Yes, it's twenty four carat gold." She reached for the arm not hooked up the IV bag. "Let's put this on and see how it looks."

"I don't understand." The little girl frowned. "What does gold have to do with vegetables?"

"Ah, I said carat not carrot. It's spelled differently." Sakura explained, while doing the clasp on the bracelet. "See, it's perfect for you."

"It's so sparkly!" Naomi lifted her arm up so the light hit the bracelet. "Thanks Dr. Haruno!"

"Well, I thought since you're doing such a good job getting better, you deserve something special." Said Sakura. "This is a bracelet my grandmother gave to me when I was your age."

"Wow." The little girl's eyes widened. "So you used to wear this bracelet?"

"Before my arm got too big I used to wear it every day. You will have to take good care of it for me."

"Oh I will, Dr. Haruno. I promise." She nodded solemnly. "You can count on me."

"I trust you." Sakura stood up out of the chair and walked over to the foot of Naomi's bed. "Let's look at your chart." She picked up the metal clipboard and looked at the attached file.

"I was sick this morning." Said Naomi.

"Yes, it says that." Sakura continued to examine the file. "Are you're feeling better now?" she asked.

"Of course." Said the little girl. "Now that you're here."

Sakura smiled to herself. Naomi was one of the few patients whose condition seemed to be really improving. It gave Sakura hope.

There had already been one fatality. One little boy's cancer did not react at all to the chemotherapy. His condition continued to downs spiral until he slipped into a coma and died.

Sakura got no sleep that night.

She was going to have to face the very real possibility that many of her patients were going to die.

Dr. Soto once suggested that Sakura chose cancer as her specialty because it was a losing battle.

Despite her best efforts, Sakura was unable to save Tsunade. If she could do the impossible and save these people from cancer then she could come to terms with her grandmother's death.

According to Dr. Soto that is.

It was why she didn't become a medical doctor. A good doctor cured patients one at a time. A good scientist cured millions. And Sakura had always been an over achiever.

She supposed that she had somewhat of a god complex. Her ego was certainly inflated. But she had no doubts as to her own mortality. She was going to die alone.

But her patients would not.

Sakura bent down next to Naomi's bed so their faces were level. "Maybe tomorrow I'll bring in some new coloring books for you. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good!" she nodded eagerly. "I love the princess coloring books."

Princess coloring books. That meant Sakura would have to go shopping. She might as well go grocery shopping too while she was at it.

Sakura had started cooking again. She found that she did her best thinking while she was in the kitchen and it was nice to have home cooked meals again too. The whole experience was very relaxing and it was a nice break from the norm that she wouldn't feel guilty about.

"Dr. Haruno, Is Dr. Kabuto your boyfriend?" Naomi asked.

"Umm, no." Sakura stood up. "Why would you ask me that?"

Naomi shrugged. "He gives you googly eyes and stares at your butt."

Sakura turned slightly and glanced out of the corners of her eyes and saw that Kabuto was indeed staring at her. Creepy.

She forced a smile. "Well, I've got to get back to work now." She leaned in and gave the little girl a hug. "I'll come visit you later." She promised.

"Bye, Dr. Haruno." Naomi waved.

Sakura waved goodbye to the little girl and then strode over to where Kabuto was talking to some of the researchers. "Everything alright?" she asked the group.

"Of course, Dr. Haruno." Said one of the research assistants. He glanced at Kabuto. "We'll just be getting back to work then."

The research assistants hurried to their respective jobs and left Kabuto standing with Sakura.

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "Is there something you would like to tell me?"

Kabuto smiled. "Well, it's more like there is something I want to ask you."

Oh crap. Sakura knew what this was all about. She forced a smile. "Okay, shoot."

"Do you have a date to the fundraiser?"

No, but she wasn't about to let him know that.

The International Cancer Research Society was holding it's annual fundraiser in the city and many of the scientists and doctors who worked in her lab were invited. Sakura was excited to have received an invitation until she realized that it wasn't going to be just a meeting of the minds. No, it was a ball, a gala, a black tie event. She was going to have to wear a gown and make small talk with millionaire contributors. She was going to have to bring a date.

She did not want Kabuto to be that date.

"Yes, I do have a date." Sakura lied. "Are you going to the event too?"

She could tell Kabuto was doing his best not to look disappointed. "I was planning on it. I thought that if you didn't have a date we could go together, but it looks like I'll have to try someone else."

"Oh, Kabuto, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone else. You should hear the way the nurses talk about you." They talked about how creepy he was.

"I'm not worried. I just thought it would be convenient if we went together, but this will work too. I guess I'll just have to see you there." Kabuto smiled. "You and your date of course."

Shit. Was he calling her bluff? "Yes, me and my date will see you at the fundraiser." Sakura took a breath and smiled brightly. "Well, I've got some work to do upstairs," _and I want to get away from you._ "So I will see you later," _in hell_. "Take care, Kabuto."

It wasn't until Sakura was safe behind the thick doors of the elevator that she let her façade drop. She should have better prepared herself for that encounter. She _knew_ he was going to ask her to the fundraiser. He had been hunting for an excuse to ask her out for weeks now. She should have been able to come up with a better lie.

Now she was actually going to have to find a man to take as her date.

Sakura thought about phoning Naruto. He lived a couple hours away but he was always thrilled to hear from her and jumped at any chance she gave him to catch up. But Sakura knew that Naruto was very busy working for the Agency for International Development, doing god only knows what in god only knows what countries. He had become a right secretive bastard. It was likely that he couldn't be her date even if he really wanted to.

She hadn't been on an actual date in at least 2 years. Even when she had found the time to squeeze in dates she never found someone worth it. She couldn't connect with anyone, even her fellow scientists. She was young, why should she waste her time with someone who didn't move the earth for her, much the less give her butterflies?

Still, if she was so adamant about remaining alone, then she should have thought up a better lie when Kabuto asked her about it. Now she was either going to have to miss the fundraiser, or risk looking like a lying bitch when she showed up alone.

"Well, don't you look troubled, Dr. Haruno." Said a voice.

Sakura looked up and saw that a smiling Deidara was leaning against the wall outside Dr. Sasori's office.

"So who was it today," he joked, "a famous musician? A famous athlete?"

Sakura laughed good-naturedly. "None of the above, actually. Are you waiting for Dr. Sasori?" She asked.

Deidara nodded. "We're supposed to have lunch once his meeting is over. I feel like I've been standing here forever."

It was ridiculous that the upstairs offices didn't have a lobby where family members could hang out when they were in for a visit. "Well please, you can come wait in my office, it's just down the hall." Sakura offered.

The blond man smiled mischievously. "Trying to score some points with your boss by playing nice with his boy toy, yeah?"

"Actually, I thought that I owed you one for that whole Gaara Sabaku nonsense." She shrugged. "But your reason works too."

"I guess you do owe me one… Okay, lead the way Dr. Haruno."

Sakura's office was four doors down from Dr. Sasori's so their walk took only a moment.

Deidara sat down in Sakura's chair and leaned back. "So are you going to tell me about the source of that face you had on earlier?"

"That depends, how do you feel about Kabuto Yakushi?"

"Hate him."

Sakura laughed. "Oh really?"

"He's Orochimaru's little spy, and I can't stand Orochimaru." Deidara explained.

Dr. Orochimaru was another one of the senior scientists in the lab. He was eccentric to say the least, and there were all sorts of strange rumors circulating around about him. He was much creepier than Kabuto so it seemed right that the oncologist would be Orochimaru's apprentice.

"I've heard some pretty disturbing things about Orochimaru, but I don't have a lot of contact with him, so I don't know what's true. Kabuto on the other hand, I work with him everyday and I can sense that there is something off with him." Said Sakura.

Deidara snorted. "If you enjoy working with Orochimaru then there is definitely something off with you. What did this guy say to you that's got you all rattled?"

"He asked me to the fundraiser and I told him that I already have a date."

"What's the problem there?" Deidara looked puzzled. "You don't have to go to the fundraiser with him now. Isn't that a good thing?"

"But it was a lie! I don't have a date. I don't even have a friend I can take. This is a disaster."

"I may be a flaming homosexual, but even I can tell that you're an attractive woman. Go to a bar tonight and pick up a man. It'll be easy for you."

Sakura put her head in her hands. "I think you are greatly overestimating my social skills, I don't know how to pick up men, I only know how to talk to them about science."

"I think I might be able to help you, yeah. I have a fellow artist who would kill to go to an event like this."

"What do you mean?"

"He sneaks into parties and pretends to be a guest so he can promote his artwork and galleries."

Sakura gasped. "Is he crazy or something? That's ridiculous!"

Deidara put his legs up on Sakura's desk. "We artists do what we need to do to make our art known to the world."

"I guess so." She shook her head. "What does any of that have to do with me?"

"I could phone him, yeah. I can see if he will be your date in exchange for getting an opportunity to schmooze with zillionaires. He's a good looking guy so you don't have to worry about showing up with a Frankenstein."

Wouldn't that be like brining an escort? Was Sakura so pathetic that she needed to hire an escort? Well, it wouldn't really be like _hiring_ a date, since she wouldn't actually be paying him.

Deidara must have sensed her discomfort with the idea. "It's and equal exchange, and a fair trade. You'd both be doing each other a favor."

"Well… when you put it like that… And if it keeps Kabuto off my back…"

"So it's decided then." Deidara whipped out his cell phone. "I'll call him now." He stopped mid dial. "I should really warn you not to take anything he says too seriously. He has the party scene act down pretty well, but he is a little socially awkward when it comes to one on one situations."

Sakura bit her lip. What did that mean? "Well, I guess anyone is better than Kabuto."

"Don't worry, I'll have him study up on etiquette and party manners. Sai can handle this thing, no problem."

"Right." Sakura smiled weakly.

She hoped she wouldn't live to regret this.

* * *

**Yes, Yes, I know don't hate me. It was a Gaara-less chapter. You'll have to forgive me for that. **

**I mean to make this longer, I was going to include a scene where Sakura gets her cat, but I didn't feel like writing anymore. I've had a busy week!  
**

**Today, I PUNISHED my exams, bought a new computer, lost three pounds, and got arrested for (this all actually happened within the span of this week, but I thought I should keep it in FML format.)  
**

**That's right, I was arrested. I've got a court date and everything. I feel so ashamed. Not because of tresspassing, (that part was totally cool we explored this old condemed building) but for getting caught! So because of my apparent legal problems (and my parents flipping out) I don't know when the next update will show. **

**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. I am continuously blown away by you guys. I 3 you all. **

**Leave some more reviews and let me know what you think of this chapter and how _your_ week went!**

**Oh! I almost forgot. I've run into a problem with names! What ethnicity should I make OCs ? I've been usuaing racially ambiguous names up until now, but I need to think of a name for the Ice Queen. I was thinking 'An Hara' that could be lot's of ethnicities, right? I just don't think it's very royal sounding...  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**OK Here we go!!!!!! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

Dr. Sakura Haruno was wealthy.

The day Sakura turned eighteen she inherited more money than she could have even imagined Tsunade had stashed away. A good portion of that money went toward her education but the majority, as well as her present earnings were sitting untouched in her bank account.

So buying that vintage ball gown wasn't exactly a hardship.

She never went out. She hadn't worn a dress in years. But none of that was going to matter. She was going to make up for lost time by wearing the most exquisite (and expensive) dress she had ever laid eyes on. She was going to dance with millionaires and drink pink champagne.

Sakura knew she was no Victoria's secret model, but that didn't mean she had a bad body. In fact, vintage Chanel wasn't really made for terribly busty girls. Most of the gowns Sakura tried on were the perfect size. All she had to do was pick the one she thought looked best with her coloring and didn't clash with her hair.

The dress was a strapless silk evening gown with a layered chiffon skirt. The gold embroidered bodice was tight fitted and accented with crystal rhinestones and tiny mirrors. It was dazzling to say the least. The front came up high and covered most of her chest, but the other side of the dress was low cut left her back naked. According to the women at the boutique, these days even the biggest breasts were nothing compared to a sexy bare back.

Sakura spent the entire afternoon pampering herself and getting ready. It took her at least an hour to get her hair right and she used up just about all of her patience meticulously applying make up.

She spent an obscene amount of money on Manolo Blahnik stilettos and designer perfume. She reasoned that since she was spending no money on jewelry (she was using earrings and bracelets handed down to her from her Tsunade) she might as well splurge on everything else.

If she was going to beg for money from all the contributors she was going to do it in style.

As she gazed at herself in the bathroom mirror Sakura decided she was satisfied the results of hard work. She looked good. She looked _really_ good. She smiled at her reflection and winked. She tried to look coy. "I would be eternally grateful if you wrote a nice fat check to cancer research."

Perfect. Now all she had to do was remember to stay away from Kabuto, and the night would be a success. She had a really good feeling about this party.

The doorbell rang. Sakura realized that it was already late and the person at the door must be her date, Sai.

Deidara warned her about Sai. Apparently the man was extremely well meaning but often times downright insulting. Sakura was sure there was nothing to worry about. She got along pretty well with strangers and she didn't think he could be any worse than some of the other guys she dated.

Sakura took a deep breath and opened the door.

The first thing she noticed was how handsome he was. There was something almost angelic about his face. His skin reminded her of the magnolia blossoms that used to grow on a tree she planted back in Konoha. Didn't Deidara say this man was an artist? Standing before her in his tuxedo he himself looked like a piece of art. A man that good looking would probably bring any other girl to swoon, but not Dr. Haruno. No, this hunk standing before her looked a little too much like a boy she used to know. Not to say that Sasuke Uchiha wasn't one of the most attractive men she had ever met.

"Hi," she said, "you must be Sai, I'm Sakura."

The man smiled. "Hello."

They stood awkwardly in the doorway. There was something strange about his smile.

Sakura smiled back nervously. "Well, I would invite you inside, but if we don't leave now I'm afraid we'll be late."

The man continued smiling. "It would be appropriate for me to now compliment your attire."

"Uh, okay…" Sakura took a few steps back. "What do you think?"

Sai held his chin in faux contemplation, finally he closed his eyes and said, "I like ugly girls like you."

Excuse me? Ugly girls? After all that time she spent getting ready? She wanted to punch him. But then she would have to risk showing up at the fundraiser alone and looking like a liar. She seemed to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. But at least she wasn't under that rock. She wasn't going to let this get her down.

Sakura gritted her teeth. "Pretty boys like you give me headaches." She took a deep breath. She was used to being insulted by the men in her life. While she didn't like it, she could certainly deal with it. "So maybe it would be a good idea if you kept your mouth shut until we get there." He was lucky she didn't shut the door on his face.

He held his arm out to her, his smile not faltering for even a second. "Shall we?"

"Yeah, okay." Sakura grabbed her purse and jacket off of the chair next to the door and took his arm.

Ready or not here they come.

* * *

The ballroom was breathtaking.

"Wow." Whispered Sai. "I've never been to a party like this before."

Sakura ran her hand over the silky red tablecloth and picked up one of the red jewels scattered across the table. She held it up against the light. "Do you think theses are real stones?"

"Doubtful." Sai leaned in and brushed his tongue against the jewel. He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think it's candy."

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "Impressive."

"And look up there." He said pointing to the ceiling.

Chandeliers the size of pick up trucks hung from the ceiling. What was so remarkable about them wasn't just their enormity but that they were also made out of sparkling red crystals.

"I bet those are real." Said Sai.

"Yeah…"

Sakura was trying to take everything in. The room was already half filled with guests. It reminded her a little bit of the wedding. Everyone was dressed in their fanciest clothes and standing around in groups around the waiters carrying drinks. It reminded her of animal herds surrounding watering holes.

She glanced at the man next to her. Aside from that ugly comment he made, Sai was doing a pretty good job as a date. He found their place cards and led her with his hand on the small of her back to the table so she could put her purse down. He smiled serenely at everyone who looked their way. But Sakura was coming to doubt the sincerity behind that smile.

"Now you're going to have to pretend that you like me. It's probably not a good idea to call me ugly in front of the other guests. It would look bad for the both of us."

"Don't worry, I spent all morning reading _Extravagant Parties for Dummies._ And don't forget that I have some experience functioning in cocktail parties. I have been observing and repeating the proper behavior for months now. I am confident this arrangement between us will work."

Somehow Sakura wasn't so sure. "Be especially nice to me around a grey haired man named Kabuto Yakushi. He's a doctor I work with and coincidentally also a giant creeper."

"Deidara has already briefed me on the mission." He took a handful of business cards out from his pocket. "This however, will not stop me from trying to advertise my new gallery."

Sakura shrugged. "Advertise away. I myself am going to be begging these people for money. Lets wish each other luck then."

Sai nodded. "Good luck to us both."

Together they walked onto the crowded dance floor. "Maybe we should find Deidara and Dr. Sasori first." Said Sakura. "You know, to let them know things are working out between us."

"Ok." Sai agreed. "I think I see them over there." He pointed to the far corner of the room where two men who looked like Deidara and Sasori were standing with another couple.

Sai took Sakura's arm once more, and guided her through the crowd. Deidara must have seen them approaching because he waved and motioned them over.

"Dr. Haruno, you look absolutely stunning!" he leaned in and kissed both of her cheeks. "And you smell delicious too. Blvgari, yeah? Oh and this dress, it must have cost you a fortune."

Sakura shrugged sheepishly, but before she could answer Deidara was off kissing Sai's cheeks too.

"Sai, I loved the new catalogue for your gallery so much I threw it straight into my fire place."

Sai smiled. "I let you kiss me because it is a common social greeting. Do not misunderstand, I am not a homosexual."

Sakura covered her mouth with her hand and reminded herself it wasn't nice to laugh at her date, no matter how bizarre the things that came out of his mouth were. His art had to be good if people in the art community put up with his antics.

"Charming as ever, I see, Sai." Sasori said, cutting in. He grabbed Sakura's elbow. "It's lovely to see you Dr. Haruno. There are some people I wish you would meet." He turned and gestured to the man and woman next to him. "This is Pein and Konan, two of our laboratory's most generous benefactors."

Sakura shook both of their hands. "I really cannot tell you what your contributions mean to me personally as well as the entire foundation. It's not just us scientists who are responsible for breakthroughs it's also munificent donors like yourselves."

It wasn't until after Pein and Konan had moved on that Sakura noticed Sai was staring at her. "What, is it something on my face?"

"You're a master at this."

"A master at what?"

"I believe this is what they call 'bullshit.'"

"Are you implying that I wasn't being sincere? I really am grateful for contributions."

"It's in the way you worded it."

Sakura shrugged. "I guess there is a certain appropriate language when it comes to this stuff."

"It's like a show. Everyone knows each others lines, but people still go through the motions of saying them, and it's just for the sake of appearances."

"It's not that simple. There are emotions involved too."

Sai grimaced. "I don't understand emotions very well. I don't feel them the way other people do."

"Your smiles…they're fake, aren't they?" she guessed.

He nodded. "A smile is the best way to get oneself out of a tight spot, even if it is a fake one."

"For you, a 'tight spot' is a social situation." It reminded her of someone.

"You'd be surprised how difficult it is to play the game when you cannot feel empathy."

Sakura thought about that. Sai was all alone. She tried to imagine what it would feel like to not be able to relate to or understand anyone else in the world. Sai must be very lonely.

"What kind of artwork do you do?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I like to do sketches and water color paintings. I like to work with ink." He reached into his jacket pocket. "I have a drawing I did this morning." He handed her a folded up piece of parchment."

Sakura carefully opened the paper.

It was a simple picture of two boys playing beneath the canopy of two leafy green trees. For someone who claimed to know nothing about emotion, he did a good job portraying the boys as happy. They both had bright smiles on their faces.

"They're brothers." Sai explained to her. "That's why they're playing together." He pointed to the bigger of the two boys. "That's the older brother. He takes care of the younger boy."

"What's it called?"

"I don't name my artwork. I _can't _name my artwork."

"I see…" Sakura folded the picture back up. "I want to come to your gallery. I want to buy something."

Sai put the picture back into his breast pocket. "Yes," he said, "please come to my gallery and spend lots of money. I have no intention of becoming what they call 'a starving artist.'"

Sakura laughed. "You got it. Now how about you go over to the bar and get us some drinks?"

Sai smiled and tilted his head to the side. "Okay."

The young scientist watched the young artist walk away. She sighed. What an odd man her date was turning out to be.

The picture was decent- no, better than decent. The picture was simple yet brilliant. The colors blended together in a way that reminded Sakura of the way ice cream melted in the summer. Even before Sai told her that the two boys were brothers she knew they were related. It was just clear in the way he had painted them. She couldn't understand why, but she just figured that was his talent.

She wondered if painting did for him what science did for her. She had a feeling it did. They were alike in the sense that they had both made their passions their jobs. She wondered if his other paintings were as good.

Her apartment was pretty bare. If they were good enough, maybe Sakura could buy a couple of his pieces. She had lived in that apartment for years, maybe it was time for her to finally move in and make it her home. Maybe she would buy that cat.

"Excuse me." A nasally voice said, interrupting her thoughts.

Sakura looked up and her breath caught in her throat. It was the Ice Queen.

She looked beautiful. She _was_ beautiful. The woman was a six-foot tall size four. And she had breasts! Her form fitting dress was the same cool grey as her sharp painted eyes. Her little nose was wrinkled in disgust, as if talking to Sakura offended her senses. Her cheekbones were high and her lips were full and glossy. The woman looked like she had just stepped out from the pages of Vogue Magazine.

The Ice Queen made Sakura feel like a twelve year old who was playing dress up in her mother's closet.

"You, waitress, or cleaning woman, or whatever you are." She held out her empty champagne flute. "Do something about this."

Sakura stood frozen rooted to the spot. Was this bitch really mistaking her for the help? "I- I'm a _guest_ at this party." She said.

The Ice Queen raised an elegant eyebrow. "_You're_ a _guest_? Oh my, they'll let anyone into these things now won't they?"

Sakura flushed angrily. Who did this woman think she was? She felt dread wash over her. If the Ice Queen was here then…

"Sweetheart, look who it is. It's our little friend from Misero wedding." She smiled at the red haired man who came to stand next to her. "She says she's a guest here. Isn't that cute?"

He grabbed her elbow and avoided looking at Sakura's face. "Ignore her." He told his girlfriend. "Let's go find you a new drink."

That's right, run away you stupid coward. Run away before your awful girlfriend finds out you're a dirty liar.

The Ice Queen narrowed her eyes at Sakura and stayed standing in front of her. "I have a special talent for seeing people what they really are. You may have fake jewels and a polyester dress, but you're still a silly little waitress. I know trash when I see it."

Sakura clenched her fists. Would they kick her out of the party if she got into a cat fight with The Bitch Queen?

Gaara tugged on his girlfriend's arm. "I really think we should just-"

"Oh! I see you three have already met." A grey haired man interrupted.

Sakura turned and saw that Kabuto had joined the group. He leaned in and kissed the Ice Queen on the cheek.

"Ms. Hara, it's always a pleasure to see you." He said.

"It's good to see you too, Kabuto." Said the Ice Queen. "Dr. Orochimaru said that you were around here somewhere."

"Well, I'm glad to see you've already Dr. Haruno."

"Who?" The Ice Queen asked stupidly.

"Me." Sakura said. She remembered what Sai said about 'tight spots' and she tried a faux bonhomme smile of her own. She held out her hand. "Dr. Sakura Haruno."

The Ice Queen stared at Sakura's outstretched hand.

"Dr. Haruno is the single most brilliant scientist I've ever worked with." Said Kabuto. Everyone at the Lab knows that Dr. Haruno will inevitably do something great with her work. I feel lucky that I'm able to work with such a talented and dare I say, beautiful doctor."

Sakura tried not to smile. Kabuto's creepiness sure did come in handy sometimes.

"Dr. Haruno," he said, "this is Eriena Hara and Gaara Sabaku."

Sakura bowed her head. "It's nice to meet you both." She turned and saw that Sai was approaching with their drinks. "This is Sai." She said, gesturing toward the dark haired man."

Sai saw Kabuto and his eyes lit up with understanding. He handed Sakura her drink and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Hello, darling." He said.

It took Sakura everything she had not to laugh.

Sai put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He rested his chin on her head. "Does Sakura not look amazing tonight? I love knowing that I'm here with the most gorgeous woman in the room."

"Indeed." Said Kabuto. "Say, are you the same Sai who owns that gallery on the corner of Twelfth and Twenty Third Street?"

Said nodded. "I am he."

"I'm a huge fan of your work!" Kabuto gushed. "Sakura, you never told me you were dating a famous artist!"

"We try to keep a low profile." She patted Sai chest. "Sai is a very modest artist."

"Imagine that," said Kabuto, "we're in the presence of a famous artist and a famous author!"

"Famous author?" asked Sai.

"Yes." Said the Ice Queen, forcing herself into the conversation. "My boyfriend is Gaara Sabaku, the famous author."

"You've written famous books?" Sai asked Gaara.

"Book. I've only written one book." The author said in his deep voice.

"Ah, so you're what the call a 'one hit wonder.'" Said Sai.

Sakura put her glass in front of her face so no one could see her smile. Sai was actually pretty cool.

Gaara's jaw clenched but he didn't speak.

"I just realized something else." Said Kabuto, oblivious to the tension that had befallen on the group. "Mr. Sabaku, I read that you are from the town of Konoha. Isn't that where you're from Dr. Haruno?"

Trust Kabuto to remember every little detail of her life story. Trust Kabuto to stir up the forbidden topic.

This was Sakura's chance to expose Gaara as the son of a bitch that he was.

Sakura remembered what Deidara had told her about Sasori and Suna. She swallowed, "Konoha is a lot bigger than you think it is, and I was only there for a couple of years." She lied. "I'm sorry Mr. Sabaku, but if we were there during the same time period, I don't remember you."

"I don't remember you." He said impassively. "And I've never heard of your boyfriend's art either."

"Well then you'll have to check it out sometime." Said Kabuto. "Ah," he looked over Sakura's shoulder, "I must go say hello to Reverend Hidan. I enjoyed talking to you and I hope you all have a good time tonight.

Kabuto walked off leaving Sakura and Sai standing with Gaara and the Ice Queen.

Sai let go of Sakura and stood up straight. "It looks like they have begun serving the salads. Perhaps this would be a good time for us to sit down."

"Okay." Said Sakura. "It was very nice to meet you both." She said to the other couple.

"Feel free to stop by the gallery anytime." Offered Sai.

"I think we're all set on artwork, thank you." Said the Ice Queen stiffly. "We'll be going to our table now."

"Have a pleasant evening." Said Sakura.

The Ice Queen and Gaara turned to leave.

There was something Sakura needed to clear up. "Oh and bitch face?" she called. The Ice Queen stopped and looked over her shoulder.

Sakura smirked. "My rocks are real, my dress is Chanel and the only trash around here is you."

The Ice Queen turned bright pink and hurried in the other direction with Gaara trailing after her.

"You don't like her?" asked Sai.

"What's not to like?" Sakura asked sarcastically.

"Her boyfriend is dickless."

"_What?_"

"Her boyfriend lacks a penis."

If there was one thing Sakura knew for certain in this world it was that Gaara Sabaku _definitely _had a penis. And that he was a major hottie in that tuxedo of his.

"Nice work with that 'darling' crap, by the way." Said the pink haired woman.

"I read all about terms of endearment in a book. I feel like I successfully executed the usage of one."

"You were perfect, Sai. If art doesn't work out for you, then you have a back up career as an actor."

"Thank you, Sakura. If science doesn't work out for you then you can just marry Kabuto. He has an unfounded fascination with you."

"I told you he was creepy!"

Sai smiled. Sai _genuinely_ smiled. "Yes, Kabuto is a creep."

* * *

Sai and Sakura ate, Sai and Sakura chatted amiably with the other couples at their table, and finally Sai and Sakura danced.

"The dickless author keeps looking over here at us. Are you certain that you have never met him before?"

Gaara was looking at them? He was probably just pissed that Sakura had shut up his stupid girlfriend. That girl had it coming to her. Sakura was just delivering to her what she had coming to her. _Happily_ delivering to her what she had coming.

Part of her was glad to have run into him again. She was felt redeemed somehow. She wanted him to see her looking her best and the subject of everyone's praise. She wanted to show him that she had really made something of herself. She didn't want him to think that she grew up to be some kind of loser.

She kept having to remind herself that she didn't care one bit about what that man thought of her.

Sakura rested her head on Sai's shoulder. She had no romantic feelings for the dark haired man, but she couldn't ignore that fact that he was still very attractive. It felt good to have a man's hands on her hips. "You're a pretty good dancer." She told him.

"You have the grace of a drunk elephant." Sai said.

Sakura cracked her knuckles. Oh how she would love to punch his pretty boy face. Instead, she just sighed. "Did you hand out a lot of business cards?"

"Yes. I think this party will be very good for my business. Did you raise a lot of money for your laboratory?"

"I think so." For the first time all night she realized how tired she was. Chatting up rich people was certainly hard work.

"That's nice."

"Yeah." She yawned.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Mm."

"Do you want to go soon?"

Sakura nodded.

"Alright. I'll go and get our coats." He let go of her and left her standing by herself in he middle of the dance floor.

She looked around and caught Deidara's eye. The blond man was talking with a group of suits who he left to go meet with Sakura on the dance floor.

"You and Sai hit it off, yeah?" he asked.

"He's an interesting guy, that's for sure."

Deidara smiled slyly. "And speaking of interesting guys… I saw Gaara Sabaku tonight.

Sakura shrugged. "I guess his girlfriend donated some money and he came as her date."

"It's actually the other way around."

"What do you mean?"

"Sabaku donated one hundred thousand dollars to yours and Sasori's lab."

He did _what_?! Sakura's jaw dropped.

"That's right. The Ice Queen is here as _his_ date, yeah." Said Deidara. "Sabaku is the one who bought the plates."

"Oh. My. God." What game was Gaara playing?

"It really makes a man wonder… since when was Gaara Sabaku such a big advocate for Cancer Research?"

What the hell did he think he was doing? Was it crazy to think that his newfound generosity had something to do with her? And if that were the case, then why, _why_ would he do that? Sakura had been under the impression that he wanted nothing to do with her.

Sakura put her head in her hands. "I don't even know what to say. He tells me to stay away from him, and then he goes and does something like this. What am I supposed to think?"

"That depends, just who is he to you?"

Nobody. There was nothing between them. There was never anything between them. "We went to high school together. We were in the same English class. That's all. I don't know what the hell is going on."

"Then maybe yeah, this is all a string of coincidences." He said.

Sakura could tell he didn't believe this.

Oh god, Gaara. What the hell are you doing?

"Sakura? Are you ready to go?" Asked Sai.

"Yeah." She coughed. "I mean yes, I'm ready."

He draped her jacket over her shoulders. "Button up, it's cold outside."

"Goodnight Deidara. Thanks for helping us both out." She gave him a little wave. "I hope we run into each other again soon."

Sai gave the blond man a short nod. "Thank you."

"Good night you two. Have a safe trip home."

Sai and Sakura walked out of the ballroom, hand and hand, and into the cool air of the night.

* * *

"Sai."

"Sakura."

They had made it back to Sakura's apartment and were sitting on the steps in front of her building.

"Will you kiss me?" she asked him.

"Kiss you?"

"I don't have special feelings for you or anything, and I'm not asking you to sleep with me, I just want to be kissed. It's been a long time since someone kissed me."

"It's not a problem. I can kiss you. I've practiced for these situations on my pillow."

He had practiced kissing on his pillow? Sakura wasn't aware that she had gone out with a thirteen-year-old girl.

She laughed softly. "Okay. I'm ready whenever you are."

Sai cupped her faced in his hands. "This would be better if you weren't so ugly."

"I asked you to kiss me not talk to me!"

"Okay, okay. I'm going to do it now." He leaned in and brushed his lips softly against hers once, twice, on the third time he suck softly on her bottom lip. He pulled her face closer and captured her lips again but this time he kissed her, he _really_ kissed her.

It was nice. There weren't any fireworks, there weren't any butterflies, there really wasn't much going on at all. But it was enjoyable. It was relaxing.

She weighed the pros and cons that would come from sleeping with Sai.

She was confident that he would oblige if she asked him to, if not for curiosity's sake.

Sex with Sai would most likely be awkward and there was a chance it would be a little degrading too.

But like his kiss, it might also be comforting and warm.

In the end though, Sakura would just feel even emptier than she did before.

She gently pushed Sai away. They were both slightly breathless.

"How did I do?" he asked.

"You did well, Sai. That must be some pillow you've got. How did I do?"

"You tasted a little bit like that raspberry thing you had for dessert. It was not an unpleasant experience."

"That's nice." Sakura yawned. "I'm pretty sleepy now."

Sai stood up. "I should get going."

Sakura grabbed his hand. "Thanks." She said. "Thanks for everything. You really saved me tonight."

"It's no problem. I think I procured new customers."

"Well, I'll certainly come by to buy some paintings. Put aside something expensive for me."

"I will do that."

She let go of his hand. "Goodnight Sai."

"Goodnight Ugly."

* * *

**Well you guys it seems I have returned.**

**Don't kill me for that last scene. I'm sure a lot of you wanted Sakura to keep her lips pure for Gaara, but I like Sai so much I thought I would give him a little cuteness. **

**Thanks for all the well wishes. I ended up not having any trouble with the law thanks to a professor at my school. I did get in trouble with my parents and ended up spending most of my spring break at a 'health spa'. **

**A funny thing happened while I was at the health spa. I let a counselor there read from my notebook which had details and outlines for 'things we know'. The counselor asked me the strangest quesiton, she asked me if I identified with Gaara. She thinks that Gaara is somehow a thread from my own personality. I think this is a load of crap. I'm more of an Ino pretending to be Sakura. **

**What character are you?**

**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! they are pure unadultured reasons to update. hint hint.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**OK this is the new and improved chapter 5. Today, April 25 the edited chapter is officially posted. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"Did you bring it?"

"Of course! I promised I would, didn't I?" Said Sakura. She handed the paper bag to the little girl. "Are you sure you want a pink one? I could have gotten you a blond one. I've always wanted to be blond."

Naomi took the pink wig out of the bag and fitted it on her head. "No, I want pink. I want to look like you, Dr. Haruno."

Sakura laughed softly. "Okay… just to warn you though, your about to become very popular with the boys in this hospital."

"Did you have a lot of boyfriend when you were a kid?" Asked Naomi.

"I had two boyfriends in high school."

"Were they cute books?"

"No actually, they were both complete ogres." Sakura answered. "Really gross guys."

"I'm going to have fifty boyfriends when I grow up." Said Naomi proudly.

"Find some nice plain boys to go out with. Stay away from football heroes and loners."

Sakura wondered if she would have been a different person if she had never dated Sasuke or Gaara. High school was a long time ago. She liked to think that she was no longer affected by what may or may not have happened ten years ago.

"Have you ever been in love, Dr. Haruno?" The little girl asked.

"Never."

"Never ever?"

Sakura smoothed the hair on Naomi's wig and adjusted it so it sat straight on her head. "Love is strange. You may think you're in love, but you can be wrong. It's hard to admit too."

"Oh." Naomi put a finger to her lip. "That's a little confusing."

"Just wait until you're a little older, then you'll be _really_ confused.

Naomi giggled.

"So," Sakura said, getting back down to business, "did one of the doctors come by and fill out your form?"

The little girl nodded. "Dr. Kabuto did."

"Okay," Sakura stood up, "Well I've got some other work-"

"Wait!" Naomi grabbed her arm. "It's been weeks and you still haven't told me about the ball."

Naomi insisted on calling the benefit dinner a ball. Sakura sighed. What she wouldn't do to believe in princes and princesses again. All she had these days were ice queens and fairy god artists.

Oh that meddlesome Deidara.

"It was very fancy." Said Sakura.

"And your date?"

"Sai? He was a little rough around the edges but we got along just fine. He was very handsome."

Sai was alright. Sakura ended up at his gallery a week later and buying two paintings. She couldn't believe how good his work was. She had never met someone so talented before. It was almost enough to overshadow his prickly personality.

He insulted her the entire time she was there. Sakura continuously ignored every word that came from of his mouth up until the point where he decided to ask her out.

It was a casual invitation to accompany him when he snuck into some CEO's retirement party. Sakura was caught off guard. When was the last time someone had asked her out? (Other than Kabuto of course.) Sakura didn't know how to answer him.

In the end she told him that she'd call him if she felt like going. She didn't know if she wanted to spend another evening with him. She liked him, but he was very trying on her patience. And the very last thing she needed was to fall for a guy who had self-proclaimed emotional problems.

After Sakura left Naomi, she had to attend a meeting with the other doctors and researchers to go over their most recent results.

Another patient had died that week, a little boy barely eight years old. His mother's sobs still echoed through Sakura's head.

How was it that some of these kids were steadily improving while others were so easily dying. It wasn't fair.

Because she was heading the study, she had to be and example for everyone else by staying professional and focusing on the science. But it was beginning to be too much for Sakura. The clinic felt too small, the hospital smell was too strong, and the children were much, much too young.

Sakura needed to clear her head.

She didn't know what she was thinking, she wasn't even sure how she had gotten there, but there she was sitting cross-legged on a bench on the bow of the ferryboat trying to forget her life.

It was cloudy but the forecast wasn't calling for any rain. It was cold out, but in her wool coat and cashmere scarf, she didn't feel even the slightest chill.

The river water couldn't exactly be called clean, it was sort of a bluish color, but the way it lapped against the black hull of the boat made it look darker and grayer. Sakura just sat there watching the waves and trying to stop thinking. It was proving to be a very difficult task. Her head was spinning.

She had become a doctor in the first place so she could help people and save lives with her own strength. They told her in school that it wouldn't be easy and she prepared herself for the possibility of failure, but this wasn't failure, this was reality.

She needed to let go of her thoughts. She tried counting her breaths.

Breathe in… Breathe out… She looked beside her. Two girls wearing school uniforms were huddled together drinking out of cardboard coffee cups.

Breathe in… Breathe out… An old man and an old woman were standing against the railing of the ship with their hands clasped together tightly.

Breathe in… Breather out… A group of tourists were taking pictures of each other standing in front of the stern of the boat.

Breathe in… Breathe out… In the cabin a tall red haired man was sitting in the window with a group of older looking men."

How was it that in a city of eight million she kept running into Gaara Sabaku?

Sakura wondered if he recognized her. He was staring straight at her. She inwardly cursed her pink hair. Against her better judgment she lifted her hand and gave a small wave.

The redhead stood up and walked over to the cabin door. He was coming outside.

"Oh shit." Sakura whispered. She quickly turned around and drew her knees to her chest. Maybe it was someone else. Maybe he would change his mind and turn around.

She heard him approach and felt him sit down next to her.

"Sakura." He said quietly.

"Gaara."

"I want to thank you for last time." He said.

What? Was he thanking her for bitching out his girlfriend? "I'd say 'your welcome' but I'm not quite sure what you're thanking me for."

"For not saying anything about Konoha at the party." Gaara explained.

Oh. Sakura didn't realize Gaara Sabaku could feel gratitude. She didn't know he could feel anything at all. "What makes you think I did that for you?"

Gaara didn't answer. They sat in silence.

Sakura didn't understand why he was still there with her. What was he doing? "So." She cleared her throat. "You gave money to my charity."

"I give money to a lot of charities." He was staring straight ahead. He couldn't even look her in the face while he spoke to her.

Apparently being a best selling author paid well. "I read your book. I didn't know about it until we saw each other, but wow you're a big time author now, that's great, really, really great." Sakura felt like a rambling idiot.

"Did you like it?" he asked.

"Yes." She answered automatically. "I can see why it was so popular." Complete and total utter lies. He wasn't even a one hit wonder.

"Right…" he nodded. " Just to be clear, there is really no reason for us to ever speak to each other again."

Sakura laughed. She didn't know why, it wasn't funny, but she laughed. "Absolutely no reason."

"I don't want you to think that there was something between us that makes it ok for you and I to associate with one another."

Associate? "Gaara, as far as I'm concerned your just that other guy I fooled around with after I broke up with Sasuke."

Gaara visibly stiffened.

"I guess you can say it was a rebound relationship, but I think using the word relationship would be pushing it."

Gaara was tense sitting beside her. He continued to look straight ahead. "I don't actually remember so much of it."

He didn't remember? Suddenly Sakura was very fed up with his antics. All he knew how to do was lie to her and hurt her. And now he was turning her into a liar too. She took a deep breath. Why was she so afraid to say it aloud? Was she really lying because she didn't want to risk making him uncomfortable?

"You don't remember?" She swallowed. "I loved you. When Tsunade was dying, you were the only thing that was keeping me together. Then, when I needed you the most, you stuck a knife in my heart, and then you left with out even saying goodbye." Sakura felt a tickle in her throat. "I really, _really_ loved you. That first year in the city I thought about you nonstop. I worried for you."

"That was stupid of you." Said Gaara. "I haven't thought about you once since I left Konoha."

Sakura hugged her arms. "I think about you now too. Do you have any idea how angry it makes me when you think you have to right to demand that I stay away from you? And then there's the fact that after all of that you still can't manage to stay away from me. You seek me out. As if you haven't hurt me enough. Did it ever occur to you that you could have just asked me politely to keep my distance? You don't deserve anything from me but I would have given you that. After all you put me through I don't even want to be in the same room as you. But you just _had_ to be an asshole and start up this _shit_ and make me feel seventeen again. I just… I just…"

She turned and looked at his face. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were blazing. _This_ was the Gaara she remembered.

His voice was strained. "I _never_ wanted to see you again. I wish that I had never met you."

It really shouldn't have hurt her to hear that, especially not after everything that had happened between them. "You hate me that much?"

He stood up and closed his hands over the metal railing. "I _despise_ you. I don't even want you to exist."

Was he saying that he would be happy if she were dead? "You're terrible." She said. "I didn't think you could possibly get any worse, but you're terrible."

"You act surprised to hear me saying these things. Did I not make it clear to you in the past? I just want you to _go away_."

His words burned her. "_You're_ the one who came out here. _You_ keep coming to _me_."

Gaara's hands gripped the bar tightly. "You think you know everything, don't you? You think you can just say whatever you want. You think sharing your feelings will solve all of your problems."

"It's a whole hell of a lot better than you! _You_ think that when things get tough the only thing to do is abandon ship. _You_ think it's okay to attack people when they things you don't want to hear."

He spun around and snarled at her. "You don't know the first thing about me!" he shouted. "You don't know anything!

Sakura glared at him. "I know that you're a liar. I know that when you're angry you say things that hurt people. I know that you like to say one thing and then do another."

"Fine, Sakura, you want to know the truth?" he asked, his eyes blazing murderously. "_You make me sick_. You're just a stupid bitch who never listens to what anyone tells you. When you talk about _love_ and stupid shit like that, it makes me want to vomit. My biggest regret in life is kissing you that night in your room and feeling sorry enough for you to let you follow me around for a couple of months. You're pathetic to have fallen in love with me and you're delusional if you think that there was ever anything between us."

He was doing it again. He was making her feel like a seventeen-year-old girl being verbally abused by this cruel, cruel boy. Was he really going to stand there and tell her that she had been just some lovesick girl who attached herself to him? Ever word that came out of this man's mouth was a lie. The only question was, why would he go to such lengths to push her away? She stood up so she could look at him closer to his face.

"_You're_ the pathetic one. I don't know what this world did to you to make you so angry but I'm not going to sit here and take this from you. You're a _monster_."

"And you're nothing more than a loud mouthed whore who can't seem to mind her own business."

Sakura raised her arm to slap him but before her hand got anywhere near his face he caught her wrist. His grip was like iron and it was only getting tighter. If he kept that up he would surely break her bones.

"Don't touch me." He shook her wrist. "I don't want your filthy hands anywhere near my face. Can you at least understand _that_?"

She tried to take her wrist back. She couldn't even hear what he was saying, blood was pounding in her ears. Her bones were going to shatter. She clamped her eyes shut. Her face was contorted in agony. "You're hurting me."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he spat at her.

The pressure on her wrist got worse. Her bone felt like it was going to snap in two.

"_Please_." She whimpered. "Just stop it."

"No, _you_ stop it."

It occurred to her that he had no idea what she was talking about. But the pain was unbearable. Tears began to pour down her face. "My arm, you're going to break my arm!"

He turned and stared at where his strong hand was crushing her thin wrist. He gasped softly as if he had not even been aware he was holding it. He immediately released her and let the arm drop.

Sakura sat back down and backed as far away from him as she could. She cradled her sore arm to her chest. She willed herself to stop crying. "I'm sorry I tried to slap you, just please don't ever do that to me again. I won't bother you. Say whatever you want to me, but please don't do that again."

He had been right she was pathetic, but now more than anything she was afraid of him. Even at his worst, the Gaara she knew before would have never laid a hand on her, not even once. Her wrist was throbbing. Maybe he really did break a bone.

What if he decided to physically hurt her again? How was she supposed to talk back and argue with him if he was willing to put his hands on her and damage her that way too? He had such an advantage over her now. He made it abundantly clear that he could crush her with one hand. Could she really trust him not to? He used to beat the crap out of people, and for no reason. He felt such strong negative feelings for her that it was a miracle that she was still standing.

His mouth hung open and he gaped at her, like he had never seen anything like her before in his life. He closed his mouth and stared at his trembling hand and then back up to her tear soaked face.

"I didn't mean… I would _never_…"

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry that because I used to love you that I was an annoyance and that I caused problems for you. I'm sorry that by being alive I've caused you pain. I'll try even harder to stay away from you and I will never _ever_ try to touch you again."

Gaara sighed. "I didn't want you to be afraid of me," he said softly, "I just wanted you to hate me." He sat down next to her. "Did I break you?"

His voice sounded so gentle when he spoke like that it made her want to forget all that he had done to her. Just what part of her _didn't_ he break? She stared straight ahead and didn't turn to look at his face. "My arm is fine." She said. To prove it she used it to wipe her tears from her face. It stung, but it wasn't broken.

Why wasn't he leaving? She snuck a peek at him. Why was he just sitting there with that pained look on his face? _He_ had hurt _her_, not the other way around. What did he stand to gain by sitting in silence with her?

"You can't smoke on the boat." She said finally.

"_What?_" he asked, startled.

"When your fingers twitch like that, it means you want a cigarette."

"I quit back at military school."

Sakura shrugged. "I guess I was wrong then."

"You're not wrong. Cloudy days give me nicotine cravings." He looked at her sideways. "You know I've been clean for nine years now."

"No drugs?"

"Not even alcohol."

Sakura nodded. "Good for you, Gaara."

"And I haven't gotten into a fight in seven years." He said.

That didn't stop him from becoming forceful with her now did it? He was quite obviously still violent. "Why are you still here?"

"I don't know. I'm not ready to go inside and face them."

"Face who?" Sakura was confused.

"The men inside the cabin, the ones who are probably watching us with great interest."

Sakura turned and saw that there were four or five old men watching them from the window. One of them waved to her. With her good arm, she waved back. "Who are they?"

"Veterans. When I'm not writing I work at the VA. The Lieutenant was the one who spotted you. He's the little man with the white hair that is waving at you. I told him I'd get your number for him. That's why they think I'm out here."

He could have just said 'no'. If he really wanted her to stay away from him that badly then he should be making more of an effort to stay away from her. He seemed to have a problem with doing that.

"Do you think that they saw what you did to me?" asked Sakura. Why would that bother him so much?

"They outrank me." Gaara said, as if reading her mind. "They're my superior officers. But most of them have pretty poor eyesight I doubt the can see any thing other than red and pink blobs."

"Is that important to you?"

"What I did to you is unforgivable."

Sakura rotated her wrist. "It doesn't hurt as much now." Why the hell was she trying to make him feel better? He was a bastard that deserved to go to hell. If she had any sense she would demand that he go inside and deal with those veterans like a man.

"Why are _you_ here?" Asked Gaara.

Sakura debated over whether or not she should tell him her real reason. But like Dr. Soto has once said, she really didn't want him to know anything about her.

"I felt like going for a boat ride."

"Mmm."

She turned to look at him and saw that his eyes were closed and he was facing the wind. It was like Déjà vu. He was the most hateful, the most beautiful, and the most confusing man she had ever met. She frowned. He had lost weight since the last time she saw him and even more so since the wedding. He didn't look as muscular. He looked more like the Gaara she remembered.

"I love boats. I love _being_ on boats." He said. "I love the feeling I get when I try to sleep after I've been out on the sea all day. I can still feel the waves and motions. It's like I _am_ the water."

No. He wasn't allowed to do this to her. He wasn't allowed to yell at her and hurt her and then do a total 180 and talk about his life and the things he love. It wasn't fair to her. It was just like him telling her to stay away from him and then him showing up at that fundraiser dressed like James Bond. Why couldn't he just make up his mind? It would be easier on the both of them.

"I think you should go back inside now." Sakura said quietly.

"Right. Sakura, I-"

"I know, I know." She said, cutting him off. "Stay away from you, you hate me, et cetera, et cetera." Now if she couldn't only get _him_ to stay away from _her_.

He grimaced. "That's not what I was going to say. What I was going to say was, that no matter what goes on between us, I will _never_ touch you or hurt you like that again. I don't want you to be afraid of that, okay?"

Sakura felt like her chest was caving in. She stared at the ground. "I think it would be a good idea if we just do what you want and stay away from each other. This way we won't run into this problem again."

"I think that's for the best too."

Sakura didn't watch him walk away from her. Instead, she rose to her feet and leaned against the cold metal railing. This was by far their worst encounter yet.

* * *

"Work has been tough lately, but I'm getting though it."

Dr. Soto nodded. "Sometimes we just have to push through."

"I've accepted that sometimes are just out of my control. Every child is different, so is every cancer."

"Do you think this revelation has affected your work ethic?" Asked the therapist.

"No." Answered Sakura. "I'm working as hard as ever, it's just gotten a little easier. My overall mood has improved."

"Are you doing more activities outside of work?"

"I had lunch with Ino last week. Last Saturday Dr. Sasori and Deidara took me out to dinner. I guess you could say that I've become more social."

Dr. Soto made a note on her pad. "Do you think you will keep it up?"

"Maybe. I don't know." She scratched her head. "I don't understand it, but lately I've been feeling… _lighter_. Does that make any sense?"

"You're less stressed. You don't feel as pressured. Usually, you let yourself become overwhelmed with work. If you take some time off to do different things, like going out with friends, you won't feel so trapped."

Maybe there was some truth to that. Having balance in her life sounded like a good idea.

"You should invest some time in a hobby, maybe do some volunteer work, or join a book club." Suggested Dr. Soto.

Volunteer work. It would probably be a good idea to find someway to volunteer at the hospital, or maybe help out at the woman's shelter. Apparently in addition to being a giant asshole, Gaara was now the type of man who volunteered and did good deeds. What a load of crap that was. Gaara Sabaku was a decidedly bad man. Even if he did now how some new code of ethic it still didn't change that fact that he called her derogatory names and essentially told her he wished she were dead.

"Have you read _The Darkest Storm_?" Sakura asked Dr. Soto.

"I bought the book but I haven't had time yet to read it."

"I see."

"It's by that author, the one that is engaged to that society girl."

_Engaged?_ "He's engaged to her?"

"I read it in the society section a few weeks ago" Said Dr. Soto. "They're going to be married this summer."

Gaara Sabaku was getting married, and to that _bitch_. "Oh god."

"I know it's hard to believe."

"No… I mean, yes."

Dr. Soto smiled apologetically. "It's a little embarrassing."

"_What?_"

" I guess everyone has their guilty pleasures. Mine's reading the society pages. I keep telling myself it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Oh, she was talking about herself, not Gaara.

Gaara. Gaara Sabaku. He was getting married. He loved that awful, awful woman.

Sakura shouldn't care. She shouldn't care at all. She _didn't_ care. It was just weird. She couldn't imagine Gaara married.

She didn't want to imagine Gaara married. She didn't want to imagine him capable of loving someone that much.

It was disgusting and pathetic but she didn't want him to love anyone. She hated the idea of him with another woman.

He was going to be marrying the Ice Queen. Sakura felt sick just thinking about it.

No. No. NO. She was not going to think about this. Gaara and this woman _deserved_ each other. He was the evil bastard who ignored her at that party and continuously stomped all over her heart. He didn't deserve to be happy. He deserved to suffer and be miserable. Someone like him shouldn't be allowed to marry. What if he had children with her? They would be the nastiest children on the face of the earth.

Even if she wanted to believe he was good and that he didn't mean the things he said to her, that didn't change the fact that he himself might believe them.

"Sakura, you seem distracted, is everything alright?" Asked Dr. Soto.

"Um, yes, I'm sorry I just remembered a whole stack of paperwork on my desk that's due at the end of the day." Sakura stood up. "If I don't get that done by five my bosses will kill me."

"Wait, it's not time to go yet." Said the therapist.

"I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to concentrate on myself. It's really better if I just get back to the office."

"Nonsense, Sakura, we still have over a half our left to go. Surely you can hold it together for that long?"

"No." Said Sakura, heading for the door. "It's really just better that I leave now."

"Sakura!" Dr. Soto shouted.

But it was too late. Sakura had already walked out the door.

Married.

It was all Sakura could think about on her walk back to the office.

Why didn't he mention that he was engaged when they were talking that time? He hadn't mentioned the Ice Queen at all. Sakura had forgotten all about her. She had forgotten that there was actually a woman in his life. There was a woman he slept with and woke up with. There was a woman he shared his dreams and shared his meals with. He would probably dedicate his next book to her.

It was a good thing that there wasn't anything in Sakura stomach, she felt like she was going to puke all over the sidewalk.

She hadn't thought about him in such a long time. If she hadn't seen him, if she hadn't talked with him, she would have just taken this news without batting an eyelash.

But now that she had talked with him, told him her feelings and heard about his life, she felt like… she felt like…

Well actually, what she was feeling was indescribable. It was something she just couldn't name.

She should hate him. Any feeling other than hatred for that wretched, wretched man could only be attributed to a mental disease. Was Sakura a masochist? Why did she feel the need to bring up the past with him when she knew that he obviously hadn't changed since that day in his basement?

Sakura walked straight into the clinic. She wanted to check in with her research assistants and see what patients were coming by to have tests taken. She immediately recognized the girl with the pink wig and went over to say hello. Talking to Naomi would help her get her brain back on track.

"Dr. Haruno!" the little girl exclaimed delightedly. "They told me you were on lunch break!"

"I came back early. I had a feeling there was something I had to do here, and look, my favorite patient was stopping by."

Naomi smiled brightly. "Hooray! I was afraid I wouldn't get to see you. Mrs. Lee wanted me to thank you again for the pink hair."

"Was I right?" Asked Sakura. "Do you have a lot of boyfriends now?"

"Not yet. But I know I will soon. Speaking of boys, your friend was looking for you. The man with the yellow hair."

Deidara. He probably had another artist he wanted to set her up with. Either that or he got bored waiting for Sasori to come out of another meeting.

"He said he would wait for you up in your office." Said Naomi.

Well she wouldn't want to keep her bosses boyfriend waiting. "I wish I could stay, Naomi, but it would probably be a good idea for me to go up there and see him."

Naomi pouted. "Okay then. I guess I'll see you next week."

"Bye." Sakura leaned down and gave Naomi a big hug. "I'll bring you something special next week. Feel better for me."

Sakura picked up some files from the clinic and then proceeded to ride the elevator up to her floor. She still felt lousy. How was it that Gaara could still make her feel so lousy?

He said that he didn't think about her. How could someone who apparently felt such a strong detestation for her not think about her? Did that mean who thought spiteful thoughts about her?

Why was it that every time they ran into each other she was left more and more angry and confused?

Sakura shook her head. She was not going to waste anymore brain energy on him. She was going to walk right into her office, kick Deidara out, and get back down to what was important; her work.

She reached for the handle and opened the door to her office.

She took one look at the smiling blond perched on top of her desk and she dropped her stack of files to the ground.

"Naruto." She whispered.

* * *

**Ok so that's the new and improved version. If you're reading this for the first time then to use this is just the version version. **

**Let me know if you liked the old one better. I just think Gaara was too friendly and there was just too much talking about feelings n' stuff going on. I didn't think it was very realistic. I like cryptic caustic Gaara better. He's MUCH more interesting.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!****WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!**

**This chapter contain SAKUNARU, OoCness, and a poorly written sexy time. If you don't read this warning and end up reading this chapter and you are horrified and disgusted I am not responsibile for that. **

**This chapter isn't really conducive to the over all plot, but if your not vehemently opposed to NaruSaku then why not give it a try?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

**WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!****WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!**

* * *

"Hey," he hopped off of the desk, "are you alright? What's going on?"

Sakura didn't even realize she had begun to cry. "I'm so happy to see you." She smiled through her tears. "I've missed you so much!" She rushed toward him and threw her arms around him. "I can't believe you're here."

Naruto laughed. "If I knew I was going to get this kind of welcome I would have come up here months ago." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against his body. "I've forgotten how little you are."

Little compared to him maybe, Naruto was like a giant, and Sakura was completely enveloped by his embrace. She closed her eyes, buried her face into his chest and took a deep breath. "You smell like coffee."

"I've got jet lag." He mumbled into her hair. "I've had at least three cups today."

She relaxed against him. "What are you doing here?"

"I've just come back from the Sudan. I've got a couple weeks in the states so I thought I would visit some friends in the city. You were at the top of my list." He moved his arm down to stroke her back. "I'm glad I came here first."

"Me too." She stepped back to look up at his face. "Do you need a place to stay?"

"I'm at a hotel right now, but if your offering to let me crash with you for a while I'll go get my stuff right now."

Sakura brushed his hair out of his eyes and smiled. "Don't be an idiot! There's no reason for you to have to stay at a hotel. I'd love to have a roommate."

Actually, there was no telling what kind of roommate Naruto would be, and Sakura had gotten quite used to living alone. The smart thing for her to do would be to tell him to stay at his hotel, but Sakura was too excited to see him that none of this reasoning seemed to have any effect.

"Great." He flashed her a megawatt grin. "I'm going to be the best guest you've ever had."

He would be the first guest she had ever had. Sakura had not once had someone other than a workman in her apartment. "I don't care if you're a slob who empties my entire food cabinet, I'm just so happy that you're here."

"I'm happy I'm here too. We've got a lot of catching up to do. I haven't seen you in over a year. Did you get my postcards?"

"Yes." Sakura blushed. "I hung them up on my refrigerator."

"You're such a dork." He said. But Sakura could tell he was extremely pleased.

"I was just so thrilled to get something in the mail other than my electric bill, that I had to do something special with them."

He cupped her face in his hand and brushed away the remnants of her tears with his thumb. "I'll send you something even better next time." He promised.

Sakura was a little surprised at herself. She couldn't believe how happy it made her to see Naruto again. Sure they were friends and had kept in contact fairly regularly since she left Konoha via email, but they really only saw each other every couple of years. In the past, when they did see each other Sakura was too busy with school or looking for a job that she hadn't really been able to take in the fact that he had gone out of his way to visit her. Never in her life did she appreciate him more then she did at the moment she walked into her office and saw he was waiting for her.

She pushed him away gently. "Naruto, I really don't say this enough, but you're probably one of the best friends I've ever had. I owe you so much."

Naruto brushed it aside. "It's nothing really, you're a very important person to me. I couldn't change that even if I wanted to."

It was nice to hear she was important. Sometimes she got so caught up in her work that she forgot that she was an individual person and not just a computer.

"I have an idea though," said Naruto, "You can let me buy you dinner tonight."

No. _She_ was going to take _him_ to the nicest restaurant in town and _insist_ on paying. "How about you go back to your hotel and nap for a couple of hours and then meet me at my apartment with your stuff around eight?" That would give her enough time to get ready for him.

"Sounds perfect to me. I don't want to be falling asleep on you when you tell me all about your new job."

Oh god, even after a nap that wasn't going to be difficult to do. Her life was boring, especially compared to his.

Naruto could never really give her a straight answer when it came to what exactly he did for a living. Which led Sakura to the only one conclusion.

Naruto was a spy.

She knew it sounded crazy, but there were just too many suspicious facts. Naruto was always jetting off to some undisclosed country for some inexplicable reason. He (much to her amazement) spoke five different languages, flew airplanes and knew a startling amount of information on weapons and artillery.

When asked about it, Naruto always replied that, "he worked to provide economic, development and humanitarian assistance in countries around the world." Which Sakura took to mean, 'he went into foreign countries to perform covert missions under the guise of international aide'.

It sounded… dangerous. Sakura found the idea of Naruto being a spy to be… intriguing.

"Okay," said Sakura, "I'll make reservations, so don't be late."

"Wouldn't dream of it. And Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"I've missed you too."

The young scientist smiled softly. "Thanks, Naruto."

* * *

Naomi _adored_ Naruto. The nurses and lab assistants all blush and giggled when he sent them one of his trademark smiles. Kabuto stayed far away from Sakura and the blond man, which was definitely a good thing.

Sakura had to admit, having Naruto around was… nice.

They didn't spend every waking minute together, Naruto was often out and about in the city, busy sight seeing or visiting other of his friends. (Naruto seemed to have an endless supply of friends.) Some nights he didn't come home, but Sakura didn't ask him where he had been. She wasn't his mother and it was really none of her business.

She was a little jealous though, no matter what he was doing Naruto always seemed to be really enjoying himself. He did things Sakura thought were frivolous but secretly wanted to try. Naruto went to concerts and nightclubs and raves. He ate hot dogs from street vendors and went jogging in the park.

He made Sakura laugh.

Living with Naruto wasn't easy. He was a complete slob, he left candy, magazines, dirty clothes, and left over Chinese food cartons all over her living room floor. He was sleeping on the pull out couch, and he never once made and effort to tidy up his bed. The man was way too chipper way too early in the morning, and frankly sometimes he was just too loud for her too. He gave her honest to god headaches.

But then there were those moments that made it all bearable.

On his second day living with her, Sakura woke up and stumbled bleary eyed into the kitchen for her morning coffee. That was when she saw it, _shirtless Naruto_.

It was just after he had come in from his morning jog so he was thirstily downing a jug of water. Sakura couldn't take her eyes off his chest. Tiny beads of sweat glistened from his rippling abdominal muscles. Every ridge and curve of torso was clearly defined as if handcrafted from clay. She almost smiled when she realized that the dip of his navel was the imprint of the artist's thumb. His entire upper body gave new meaning to the word 'sculpted'.

Naruto put the water bottle down and took several labored breaths before wiping his mouth and smiling.

"Hey, Sakura." He said cheerfully. "It's hot right?"

"W-what?" she stuttered.

"I know it's only supposed to go up to the fifties today, but it still feels like an oven out there to me." He shrugged. "I guess it's still better than the weather in Venezuela."

Sakura finally took her eyes off his chest to look up at his face. "I thought you said you were in the Sudan?"

Naruto laughed brought the jug back up to his lips. "Better get ready for work, Sakura. You don't want to be late, now do you?"

The young scientist sighed. "Fine, out of my way, I need my coffee."

The blond man put the water jug down on the counter and brushed past Sakura on his way to the bathroom. Sakura put her head down to hide her blush.

She had forgotten what a man smelled like.

* * *

"So you're shaking up with Naruto."

"It's not what you think, Ino." Sakura held the phone to her ear with her shoulder while she darted across the street in the middle of speeding traffic. "Same apartment but different beds." She said when she had safely made it to the other side. "My relationship with Naruto Uzumaki is completely platonic."

"Whoa, down girl." Ino laughed. "I never said it wasn't."

"Oh." Sakura frowned. "How did you know he was staying with me?"

"I have my sources…" The wedding planner said mysteriously.

Sakura sat down on a bench in a park by her apartment. "Whatever. He's leaving tomorrow anyways. He wants to stop in and see his parents in Konoha before his flight to…" She paused. "Out of the country, I guess."

"Where is he now?"

"Up in my apartment. He kicked me out. He said that he's cooking me dinner as a way to repay me for letting him stay."

"Naruto _cooking_?"

"That's what I think too." Sakura closed her eyes, tilted her head back and sighed. "We're going to end up eating beer, Cheetos, and instant Ramen, I just know it."

"Sounds delicious." Said Ino humorlessly.

"Well, whatever it is I'll just have to eat it. Naruto will be crushed if I don't."

"Since when have you cared about that?"

Sakura sat up. "What do you mean? I've always cared about Naruto's feelings."

"Are you kidding me?" Ino asked incredulously. "That boy used to jump through flaming hoops just to get your attention, and you _always_ stuck your nose up at him. And then, when you're finally out of Sasuke's evil clutches he has to watch you fuck yourself up with Gaara Sabaku. Do you remember that fight that got Gaara expelled? The one where _both_ Naruto and Sasuke were sent to the hospital? It started because Gaara overheard Naruto talking you up to Sasuke. Naruto has _always_ been in love with you."

Sakura shook her head vehemently. "You're wrong. Naruto _himself_ said back then he wanted to be like a brother to me."

"Hmm. What would _you_ say to a girl who you wanted to get close to but you knew you had no chance with? Let me ask you something, has he mentioned the 'B' word even once since he's been staying with you?"

"No." Sakura felt her throat get dry. "But that doesn't mean-"

"Seriously?" Ino sighed impatiently. "He's been out of the country for _months_ and when he finally has a few weeks free, guess who he chooses to visit? After you left Konoha, Naruto emailed and called you even more than I did. There hasn't been any signs lately that he wants you in a less 'platonic' way?"

There had been a few moments when his behavior had made her heart speed up, but he was just being his friendly self.

It was the end of his first week staying with her when the first incident occurred.

* * *

Sakura came home from work late one night to find Naruto getting ready to go out. He was wearing loose fitting dark wash jeans and a simple blue button up shirt. Only, blue was never a simple color for Naruto, especially when it was the exact shade of his electric eyes.

"I'm going clubbing." Said Naruto. "Any chance of me convincing you to tag along?"

Sakura put her briefcase down on the floor and slumped onto Naruto's make shift bed. "Are you kidding me? I've spent the past six hours studying Petri dishes and running back and fourth from the lab to the hospital. All I want to do is go to sleep."

"Sakura…" he pleaded, grabbing her arm and pulling her back up. "After all that don't you think you deserve some fun?"

"A club just isn't my idea of fun."

"Why's that?"

Sakura shrugged. "I just don't see the appeal. It's always hot and dark, the music is too loud and everyone is packed in like sardines. Not to mention, dancing doesn't really do anything for me either."

"I'll show you the appeal." He ran off into the other kitchen and returned seconds later. He ran a hand through his hair. "Do you have something I can plug my ipod into?" he asked.

"Yes, but what for?" she pointed to the stereo under the TV. "What did you just do in the kitchen?"

"I turned the thermostat up, way up." Said the blond. "And I need to plug my ipod in so we can have some music."

Sakura bit her lip. She did not like where this was going. She felt the heat turn on and the room start to fill up with warm air, all while Naruto kneeled in front of the stereo, trying to get his Mp3 player to work. Naruto finally stood up, and an electric beat and thumping bass resonated through the stereo speakers.

"Are you ready?" he asked, smiling excitedly.

"No." Sakura deadpanned. "This is stupid, Naruto. Turn the music off, heat down, and get out of my apartment."

"Come on, trust me on this one. If you don't like it, I promise I will never bug you about coming out with me again."

"Fine." She grumbled. "This is ridiculous though."

He held up his pointer finger. "One second, I've just got to…" He crossed the room and turned all of the light switches off. Sakura's apartment was very suddenly pitch black, save for the eerie green glow of the clock on her microwave.

"Naruto!" Sakura cried. "Turn back on those lights this instant!"

"Afraid of the dark? Don't worry…"

Sakura heard him pull up the blinds. "What are you-" She closed her mouth.

The shining lights of skyscrapers, offices, and other apartment buildings flooded the room through the tall glass windows. Sakura could now clearly see the outline of Naruto kicking the food wrappers and magazines out of the way so he could have room to push back the couch. When he was finished he held out his hand to her and bowed.

"May I have this dance?" he asked regally.

She crossed her arms. "Who said anything about dancing?"

He straightened up. "Just trust me, okay?" He came up behind her and began to pull her jacket off her shoulders. She began to protest but he silenced her. "This isn't going to hurt you. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's just us, okay?"

He was right, there was really nothing to worry about. It was just Naruto being Naruto, and he was her friend. Dancing was an activity she used to do with Ino all the time (granted it was when they were in their pajamas listening to the spice girls).

Naruto tossed her jacket to the other side of the room. "Take off your shoes." He ordered.

Sakura slipped her heels off and placed them on the couch. "I'm ready." She announced.

Naruto smiled and then bent down in front of the stereo. The music now seemed decibels louder. She could feel the tickle of the slinky tones down her spine and the sound of ardent bass matched the steadily increasing beat of her heart.

"It's only a matter of time before the neighbors call the cops." She muttered to herself.

Naruto must not have heard her because he just smiled and held out his hand once more. "Dance with me." His lips said.

Sakura put her hand in his and felt his fingers close over hers. He pulled her arm up into the air and began to twirl her around the room. Then, they danced.

Naruto started off by jumping up and down and then, the next thing Sakura knew, the man was breaking out everything from the robot to the Macarena. She couldn't stop herself from laughing. Seeing Naruto making such a fool out of himself gave Sakura confidence.

She threw her hands up over her head as if to reach for the ceiling. She kept her arms up and she closed her eyes. The beat was intoxicating; she began to move her hips. But that wasn't enough. She let the rhythm rise up from the floor through her shoes, she felt it in her calves, and she felt it in her knees. She rolled the music through her thighs, and her hips, her waist, and her core.

She opened her eyes and found that Naruto was staring. Sakura blushed. So much for not embarrassing herself.

Naruto's face was unusually serious. He put his hands on her waist and he pulled her up against his body. When she didn't move her hips he moved them for her. He took her arms and positioned them on his shoulders. She wrapped them around his neck.

She froze. What were they doing? His face was coming closer and closer to hers until his lips brushed the side her face so faintly she had to wonder if it was intentional or not. He spoke into her ear.

"Just close your eyes and do what you did before. Don't worry about me, just dance."

Sakura nodded and did what he said. Soon their bodies were perfectly in sync.

When did it get so hot? She felt that the back of her neck along with the rest of her hairline were damp with sweat. As the song grew faster their bodies gravitated closer. Sakura didn't know it was possible for the room to get even hotter, but it did.

They stayed like that for some time until Naruto spun her around so her back was pressed firmly against his chest. He wound his arms around her waist and pulled so her backside was flush against his hips.

Sakura forgot about the world and concentrated on twisting and grinding on his muscular body. It took less then a minute for him to grow hard, and she felt him pressed against her back. This was when normally she would panic.

She told herself that it was just a normal reaction to her movements and it would be the same if any girl had pressed her body against his. He didn't seem too worried about it, so why should she? Ten years ago she would have slugged him in the face and called him a pervert, but they were adults now, and it was okay for their bodies to want adult things. He made it clear when his grip tightened around her that he had no intention of letting her go.

But she knew it was just Naruto being Naruto. He didn't have any special feelings for her. He was just showing her a club. He would have been doing the same thing with some strange girl if he had left earlier.

Part of her was stricken by the idea that he did this with anyone else. She buried that part of herself.

He turned her around again so they were chest to chest. He nudged her legs apart with his knees and their bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Sakura rested her forehead on his shoulder and tried to calm herself down. She had that familiar achy feeling inside of her. She could feel Naruto sweating and was instantly reminded of his glorious naked chest. She lost some of the feeling in her legs and she held on her blond for dear life.

She felt his breath hot and wet in her ear. "Open your eyes, Sakura." He said huskily.

She opened them and looked up at his face. His eyes looked like two forget-me-nots planted on his beautiful peach colored face. She felt her stomach drop as his face loomed closer to hers. Any second now their lips were going to touch…

Sakura pushed him away and walked over to the stereo and turned the music off. The silence that followed was deafening. Finally, Sakura forced a laugh.

"I never thought I could make a night club in my living room. That was certainly… interesting." She said. She tried not to stare at the bulge in his pants.

"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his head and smiled sheepishly. "I guess I got a little carried away."

Now what did he mean by that? Was he talking about setting up the nightclub or something else, like say his behavior?

"It's really warm in here now." Sakura fanned herself. "I'm going to go for a walk outside, you know, to cool off."

"Right." Said Naruto. "I'm going to go take a shower and change my clothes, I can't go out like this."

Since when did Naruto care about looking clean?

"Okay." Sakura began to put her shoes back on. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you, Sakura." He said heading for the bathroom.

* * *

Sakura sighed into the phone. She had just finished relaying a condensed and slightly edited version of the story to Ino. "And when I came back he was gone."

There was silence on the other line.

"Ino are you still there?" Asked the pink haired woman.

"So you're telling me you guys practically fucked with your clothes on and you don't think he's into you? Were you dropped at birth or something?" Said Ino.

"But it's just Naruto! He's like that with everyone. It's just his personality." Reasoned Sakura.

"I cannot believe you're really this dense."

You're wrong about this, Ino."

"Doubtful. Has there been any more 'incidents' of 'just Naruto being Naruto'?" asked the wedding planner.

There was one other little thing that stuck out in her memory.

* * *

It was a Saturday night and to Sakura's astonishment, Naruto was still at home in her apartment.

"What are you still doing home?" Asked Sakura. "I'd thought for sure you'd be out tonight."

"There's a movie I want you to watch with me on TV." Explained Naruto. "It starts in ten minutes."

Watching a movie with Naruto? That didn't seem so bad. She hardly ever watched TV but she figured if she didn't like the movie she could just close her eyes and take a nap. She had a feeling it was going to be some lame sports movie or action film. Sakura doubted that Naruto would want to watch a chick flick. What was the worst that could happen?

"Okay, Naruto. I'll watch a movie with you."

"Great!" he smiled. "I'll make the popcorn."

"And I'll push the bed back into the couch." Said Sakura.

When the popcorn was ready Naruto shut the light off and joined Sakura on the couch. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on.

"So, What are we watching?" She asked, placing the bowl of popcorn between them.

"It's called 'The Exorcist.'" Answered Naruto.

Sakura shrugged. "I've heard of it but I've never seen it."

The blond man smiled mischievously. "I think you'll like it."

Twenty minutes into the movie Sakura made her verdict, she did not like the movie. It was probably the single scariest film she had ever watched. She hugged her knees to her chest and shivered. The hairs on the back of her neck were sticking straight up and she had Goosebumps, but she could not tear her eyes away from the movie.

"You alright?" Asked Naruto. He put the bowl of popcorn down and then he pulled a blanket out from underneath a pillow. "Here," he scooted closer to her and spread the blanket across them both, "is this better?"

Sakura nodded dumbly and continued to watch the film. She was oblivious to the fact Naruto had put his arm around her.

She watched in horror as the little girl in the film yelled obscenities in a demonic male voice and as strange and terrifying things began to happen in the house. Sakura drew closer to Naruto until she felt she was safely tucked under his arm.

When the little girl spiderwalked backward down the stairs, her mouth filled with blood, and when she brutally murdered the babysitter. And oh, when her head spun around! Sakura shrieked and burrowed into Naruto's chest. "Tell me when it's over."

Naruto chuckled. "It's over."

She sat perfectly still listening to the beat of his heart. It was some time before she could muster up the courage to return to watching the movie.

When the actual exorcism began Sakura crawled onto Naruto's lap and buried her face into the crook of his neck. She was momentarily distracted from the movie by the deliciously musky scent of Naruto's aftershave. She felt him slip his arms around her.

She heard the screams of the family and the sound of the bed shaking and the little girl vomiting, oh and that demonic voice again! Sakura clutched the fabric of Naruto's shirt and ground her forehead against his collarbone. "Naruto, please!" She cried. She was begging him to turn the movie off. "Please, Naruto, just do it already!"

He stiffened and she felt his arms drop.

"No! Don't let go of me! Put your arms back around me!"

She felt him hesitantly begin to rub soothing circles across her back. "It's almost over." He whispered.

They stayed that way for the rest of the movie and Naruto didn't let go of her until long after the credits stopped rolling.

"Naruto," she said quietly. "I'm still scared."

She felt him swallow. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

Suddenly Sakura remembered who she was and what she was doing. She jumped away from him. "You're damn right this was a bad idea!" She punched him in the chest. "You're a complete asshole making me watch this crap!" She got up off the couch and switched the lights back on. "And what was the point of that, hmm? Did you think it would be funny to watch me practically wet my pants?"

"No, that wasn't the point at all." He said seriously.

Sakura blushed. What did he mean by that? "I have half a mind to put you out onto the street!"

"I'm sorry. I really didn't know that you'd be that scared."

"Well from now on, no more movies for you."

Naruto sighed. "I really am sorry. Let's just get ready for bed, okay?"

It wasn't until after Sakura had changed into her nightgown and crawled into her bed that she realized that she was still one hundred percent terrified. She curled herself into a ball and began to shake. She was convinced that the little girl from the movie was coming to get her. She could practically hear that creepy voice. There was no way that she would be getting any sleep that night, not like this anyway. That left only one thing for her to do. She slipped her feet into her bunny slippers and shuffled down the hallway. Naruto was just getting into bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his face devoid of his usual smile.

"This is all your fault." She glared at him. "I'm going to kill you in the morning."

He read her face. "You're still scared?"

"Yes, you jerkface! That _was_ a scary movie you made me watch."

"You want to sleep with me." It was a statement, not a question.

Sakura did her best to look scandalized. "No way in hell! I'm just going to stand here and yell at you to prevent you from getting any sleep either."

Naruto groaned. "You're bed is probably more comfortable so we'll sleep there."

"Did you not hear me? I said that I didn't want to sleep with you."

"You've made it clear that you don't want to sleep with me, believe me. So this is what we're going to do. We're going to get into bed close our eyes and let whatever happens happen. This way, if the little girls comes for us I'll hold her back so you can escape."

Well, if it was just to protect her from possessed children that might be alright. "Fine. But I swear to the god of science that if you come within a foot of me or if your hands 'accidentally' brush any part of my anatomy, I will throw you out the window."

"I know all of that." He said. "I've always known that. Now lets just get to bed now so we're not completely useless in the morning."

* * *

"Hold on." Said Ino. "I thought you said you guys slept in separate beds."

"It was _once_." Stressed Sakura. "After that I just took a Xanax before I went to bed and everything was fine."

When Sakura had awoken the next morning her limbs were tangled with his, his arms were wrapped firmly around her middle and his head rested on top of her breasts. She thought about making good on her threat, and kicking his ass. Strangely enough though, it felt _comforting_. Plus there was the fact that he had done it in his sleep, so it wasn't intentional. He hadn't really done it to Sakura; he did it to the warm body lying next to him. It was actually pretty impersonal if you thought about it. Still, she didn't want to tell Ino about it.

"He used the oldest trick in the book. Every guy knows that the easiest way to score with a girl is to take her to a scary movie. It leaves the girl vulnerable and lets the guy play the part of the hero." Said Ino knowingly. "Naruto had to have known this. He's trying to get into your pants."

"You're forgetting who were dealing with. Naruto is not smart enough to pull something like that off. He was just joking around and wanted to scare me."

"I think Naruto is a lot smarter than any of us give him credit for."

"This whole idea of Naruto being interested in me is completely ridiculous."

"Well, what do you think this romantic dinner he's cooking for you means? That he wants to play checkers with you or something? No, it means he wants to get you tipsy and do you on the table. Are you on the pill?"

"_What?_"

"Are you on the pill?" Repeated Ino.

"Yes, but not for the usual reason. It just keeps my periods regular."

"Good."

"You've lost your mind." She sighed and looked at her watch. "Anyways, its seven thirty so I have to go up now. I'll call you tomorrow after he leaves and tell you all about how G rated my night was. Then I will have the pleasure of saying 'I told you so'."

"Wait. Before you go tell me honestly. Would it really be all that terrible to have sex with Naruto?"

They both obviously cared for each other. Sakura trusted him and to the best of her knowledge, he trusted her too. Naruto was just as kindhearted as he was handsome and he was always putting others before himself. He was a good man.

"I have to go now." Said Sakura. "Talk to you tomorrow."

She hung up the phone and took her time walking over to her apartment building. Her heart was thudding in her chest as she rode the elevator up to her floor. It was going to be beer and Ramen, she kept telling herself. Beer and Ramen.

She could smell something mouth watering as she walked down the hallway to her room. One of the neighbors must be cooking something too. She stopped in front of her door. There was no doubt about it; the smell was coming from her apartment. She opened the door.

She felt her throat close up. She had walked in just in time to see Naruto lighting the candles.

He had covered the table with a champagne colored tablecloth and he had set it with her best china. The silverware was all arranged properly and a bottle of wine stood beside two clear glasses.

Naruto was wearing a suit with no tie. The first couple buttons of his collared shirt were undone revealing the crystal he always wore around his neck. There was something undeniably sexy about this man, but Sakura couldn't quite figure out what it was. He had always been reasonably attractive, but lately she had begun to see him as Apollo himself.

"Ah! I'm not ready!" he shouted. "I've still got to put the food out."

"Don't worry… I didn't realize…" She paused. She didn't know that it would be a dress up occasion. "I'm just going to go to my room and change out of my work clothes. You just call me when you're ready."

"Sure thing." He nodded distractedly. "Now where did I put that serving spoon…?"

When Sakura opened her closet she realized with a start that she had nothing to wear. Well, there was one thing she could try, but she didn't know how well it would go over with him.

What if Ino was right? What if there was something more to this dinner?

Sakura pictured Naruto clearing the table with one sweeping gesture of his arm and throwing her down to ravage her senseless. She felt something stir inside of her.

If this dinner were really more than just a simple way to repay Sakura's hospitality or two old friends just saying a friendly goodbye, then by wearing that dress Sakura would certainly be sealing her fate. It was that dress that made even Deidara's jaw drop. Sakura took a deep breath. She was going to risk it. Her ball gown was too fancy; there was no other dress for her to wear.

When she was done getting dressed she slipped into the bathroom to wash her face and apply some make up. She used foundation and concealer to cover up anything she considered a flaw. She curled her eyelashes and applied mascara carefully, as she didn't want to poke her eye. She didn't see a need for eyeliner and eye shadow. She used just a brush of blush on each cheek. She took her toothbrush and roughly massaged her lips, making them swollen, and then she applied a little bit of strawberry lip balm to complete the 'just been kissed' look. Sakura sprayed one squirt of her flowery scented perfume on her wrist, and then rubbed it on her neck and chest. She knew that there wasn't any time to do something fancy with her hair so she wet her hands with water from the sink and ran her fingers through and fluffed her pink locks until she had created just the right degree of tousled.

"You can come in now!" Naruto called to her.

Sakura stepped out of the bathroom and into her dining area. She leaned against the wall and anxiously adjusted the hem of her dress. "Hey." She said softly.

Naruto looked up and Sakura heard his breath hitch.

"Should I sit down?" she asked shyly.

"No." he said. "Just give me a minute to take this in. I want to commit it to memory."

"Oh," she laughed nervously, "okay."

He stared at her stilettos and then his gaze moved up her endlessly long naked legs to the bottom of her mercilessly short dress. The skirt of her dress was made out of a sheer Venetian red fabric, but with the way he was looking at her, Sakura felt as if she had no slip on underneath. His eyes wandered up to the bodice, the same red material used for the skirt only bunched tightly and clinging to her body like a second skin. The top of her chest was completely bare and unblemished. Naruto seemed to be mentally tracing the lines of her delicate clavicle and her slender arms. His fingers twitched as if he was fighting the urge to test the softness of the lily-white skin just begging to be touched. At long last he looked up at her face. Sakura smiled softly

"I didn't know that you owned a dress like this." He said finally.

"I bought it when I had to go out with my boss and his boyfriend to a fancy restaurant." Sakura explained. "It's the only dress I own."

She didn't want to give him the impression that she had put it on just for him. She knew that his reaction couldn't really be classified as friendly, but it was still just a normal reaction of a boy seeing a pretty girl. It was okay for Naruto to think she was pretty. That didn't mean he was going to cross the line with her.

"Oh," he said shortly. "I see." He pulled out the chair for her. "Well Mademoiselle, dinner is served."

It was absolutely the most delectable meal she had ever eaten. Everything she put in her mouth was warm and flavorful. If it hadn't been for the atmosphere, she would be licking her fingers. Between bites Sakura made pleasant conversation and Naruto made her laugh. The entire time she was careful not to drink too much wine.

"I cannot believe that you made this." Sakura gushed. "Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"France." He smiled guiltily.

When had Naruto been to France? "You could be a professional chef. Seriously, this is _amazing_." She noticed that Naruto had begun to shift uncomfortably in his seat. "What's wrong?"

"I have a confession." He said.

Oh god! He was about to confess his feelings to her. It was like Ino said! "You don't have to tell me. We can just ignore it."

"No, I have to say it."

Sakura braced herself.

"I hired the Chef from _Le Cadeau _to come over here and cook this for us. If it had come down to my cooking skills we'd be eating out of cereal boxes and drinking expired milk." Naruto looked at the ground. "I just wanted to show you how much I appreciated you letting me stay with you."

_See_. Take that Ino! This whole thing had nothing to do with hidden desires. It was all just the Chef's doing. What a relief that was to hear.

So why was she just a tad bit disappointed?

Sakura started to stand up. "Well, its nothing to worry about. It's the thought that counts right? It must not have been cheap either, let me know how much it was and I'll pay half. For now let's just clear off the table."

"Absolutely not." Said Naruto firmly. "Sit back down. I'm not letting you do any dishes and I'm definitely not letting you pay for anything. I _wanted_ to do this for you. I _wanted_ to spend this night with you."

She could see he was serious. She felt something fluttering in her stomach, and it wasn't the food. "Fine, Naruto. Just as long as that Chef made us something chocolately for dessert."

His face brightened up considerably. "Just wait until you try it."

Naruto rolled up and removed the dishes from the table. Sakura watched him carefully pile them into the sink. His arm muscles flexed as he reached into the cabinet for the dessert plates. Sakura was overcome by the memory of having those arms wrapped securely around her and the warmth that radiated off of his body whenever he touched her.

"This is going to be the best cake you've ever tasted, I promise." He put the plate down in front of her.

Sakura tried not to drool. The enormous slice of cake in front of her smelled like rich and spicy chocolate. She didn't know why, but the scent of chocolate always made her stomach drop. The whole thing was oozing chocolate sauce and little white chocolate covered strawberries adorned the top of the piece. "Can I really eat it?" she asked. She looked over and saw that he had only brought over once piece. "Where's yours?"

"I'm pretty full." He said. "Go ahead and try it."

Sakura broke off a piece with her fork and put it into her mouth. "Mmmmmmm!" she said when the cake met her tongue. "This is incredible!" She shoveled another big piece into her mouth. "I think I've died and gone to heaven."

"I'm glad you like it. It's the restaurants claim to fame. People come from all over the state just to eat it."

It must have taken some serious money and some serious begging to get his hands on that chef. Naruto had done all of that just for her? Her heart skipped a beat. "You've got to have some." She was about to offer him her fork and plate when she was struck by another idea. She scooped up some of the cake with her fork and brought it to his lips. "You can't tell me you don't want it."

"I won't." he smiled seemed sad almost. "But I'm still not going to have it."

Sakura put the fork down. He wasn't just talking about the cake was he?

"You know, I just remembered that I'm supposed to feed Mr. 2C's cat. How about I go do that and you clean up? When I get back we can talk for a while."

It was a lame excuse, but she had to get out of that apartment. She wasn't thinking straight.

"You're going to leave me to go feed a cat?" Naruto sounded genuinely hurt.

"I'll come right back." She promised. "Just give me ten minutes."

"Alright, I guess." He sighed dejectedly. "Go feed the cat."

Sakura hurried out the door and ran down the hallway as fast as her heels would allow her. She didn't stop until she had reached the back staircase. She sat on the top step and held a hand against her frantically beating heart. She took exactly twelve deep calming breaths.

All of the little things he did for her, all of the flowers he left around the apartment, all of the notes he had left taped to her door, all of the lunches he brought her at work, and all of the innocent little compliments he gave her, what if it wasn't just Naruto being friendly Naruto. What if his feelings for her weren't just a figment of Ino's imagination.

"I can't always be worrying about the what ifs." She said aloud. She put her head in her hands. "Think about this, Sakura. What do you know for sure?"

She was not in love with Naruto. She cared deeply for him and she loved him as a friend, but it was not the same hopelessly mind blowing terrible love that she had experienced before. Naruto was a good friend; he _always_ had her back and was there when she needed him the most. She trusted that he would never do anything to hurt her.

She knew he cared about her too, but she didn't know to what extent. She was beginning to accept that he was attracted to her, but she knew that was a trait that could happen to strangers on a sidewalk. She didn't want to believe that he was intentionally pursuing her, yet part of her was hopeful he was.

Sakura stood up and brushed the dirt off of her dress. She was going to march right in there and clear the air between them. She wasn't going to let their friendship become awkward because of her paranoia.

She walked back into the apartment and saw that Naruto had opened the French doors and was standing outside on her balcony. His shirt was fully unbuttoned and that crystal necklace rested quietly on his undershirt. He leaned against the fence and the breeze ruffled his sun kissed hair. He must have sensed her presence because he began to speak.

"Sometimes I miss this. Sometimes when I'm out sleeping in a hut in the middle of nowhere I miss skyscrapers and yellow taxi cabs. I wonder what my life would be like if I had a normal job in a normal town. I could raise a family in Konoha."

Sakura came to stand beside him. "But that's just not who you are. You were born with something extraordinary. Whatever it is that you do is your calling. You love your job. Don't second-guess yourself. You can do normal boring things when you're an old man."

Naruto smiled. "I forgot to tell you earlier, but Sakura you look stunning tonight. No, not just tonight, every time I look at you I wonder how on earth you got to be so damn beautiful. I travel all around the world and you're still most beautiful person I've ever met."

Her heart thudded painfully against her ribs. There was no sarcasm in his tone, just sincerity and just a hint of longing. "Naruto, I have to ask you something." Sakura said, willing herself to confidence to carry on.

"Anything."

"Okay," she swallowed, "I might just be crazy and just ignore me if I am, but I've been getting the impression that you've been flirting with me a little bit."

Naruto smiled in amusement. "I haven't been flirting with you."

Her heart sunk. "That's what I thought, forget that I-"

"Flirting is for children, Sakura. I've been trying to seduce you."

Her legs immediately turned to jelly. "W-what?"

"I want you. I want to unzip your dress and I want to touch you. I want to kiss you and I want to be inside of you. Then, I want to do it over and over again." He sighed. "I realized this the moment you hugged me in your office. I've been trying to show you for the past three weeks, and you've done an excellent job of evading me."

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. If she had accepted the possibility that he might want her then she would have read the signs long ago. She would have never danced with him or shared her bed with him or worn that dress for him. She hadn't thought it was possible for him to feel that way about her.

"I never-" she tried, but he cut her off.

"You don't have to say it. By now I should know better. You don't see me as anything other than a friend, you never have."

No, she _knew_ it was possible, part of her even _hoped_ it was possible. She would have done everything the same even if he had come clean with his feelings from the start. Or maybe not… She would have danced with him longer, she would have held him while he slept, and she would have taken that dress off as soon as he was done devouring the sight of her with it on.

"Naruto-"

"I'm okay with it. I'm happy to be your friend. You need me to be your friend."

"No, what I need for to do is shut up."

Naruto looked crushed. "Are you saying you don't even want me as a friend?"

She took his hand and dragged him inside. "This is ridiculous, you know that?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think this would make you this angry. I mean, I expected it to, but still I hoped that-"

Sakura stood on her toes and silenced him by reaching up for his face and pulling him down so it was eye level with hers. "If you ever, and I mean _ever_ make me watch a horror film again because your to scared to admit your feeling to me, I will end your life. You got that?"

He winced. "I didn't think you would be so freaked out."

"Whatever. Stop talking now and kiss me."

His eyes widened. "Are you making fun of me?"

Her heart was beating so fast it felt as if it wasn't beating at all. Sakura untucked his undershirt from his pants and snuck her hands up the sides. She rested her head on his chest and gently lightly grazed his back with her fingernails. "No," said Sakura, "I'm seducing you."

Naruto didn't seem to need any more of an explanation. He leaned down and slowly and sweetly kissed her on the mouth. And that's really all it took before Sakura's body started trembling. He threaded he fingers through her hair and he pulled her closer. His kiss deepened and he slipped his tongue past the seam of her lips.

Sakura felt her entire body begin to melt but she stayed focused and kissed him back with everything she had. His lips felt so warm on top of hers and it felt wonderful to be held in his arms, to _really_ be held in his arms.

He kissed her neck and an arm cautiously snaked around to the back of her dress. She felt him linger over the zipper but not make the move. "If you don't do it, I will." She said breathlessly.

His lips returned to kissing her mouth and she heard him unzipping her. Her dress and slip fell to the floor. His lips froze and he took a step back. Sakura was suddenly very self-conscious and a little embarrassed. Was there something wrong with her body? Did he change his mind about wanting her?

"That whole time?" he asked in astonishment. "That whole time you had nothing on underneath? You were naked under that little dress?"

Sakura blushed. "I didn't have anything that matched."

"Come here." He ordered gently.

Sakura stepped out of her dress and silently offered her naked body to him. "Didn't you say that you wanted to touch me?" she asked quietly.

He placed his hands carefully on her hips and pulled her toward him. His lips found hers again and she held his face to keep him from stopping again. His hand caressed her stomach and hovered over her breasts. Sakura was beginning to grow tired of his hesitance. Did he want her or not? She closed the distance between her breasts and those warm strong hands so he had no choice but to close his hands over them and send tingles down Sakura's spine.

His lips left her mouth to trail tiny kisses across her jaw line and then down the length of her neck. He nipped at the soft flesh under her chin and ran his tongue along the delicate skin of her throat. He started at one shoulder and took his time kissing his way over to the other. He continued the trail of kissing all along the slopes of her breasts until he reached her nipples. Sakura held his head and bit back a moan as he teased them with his teeth.

While he carried on with his gentle ministrations, Sakura got to work to undoing his belt buckle and unbuttoning his pants. Her hand was shaking but she managed to complete her task. She pulled down the zipper and let his pants drop. With one finger she traced the outline of his erection from the tip to base.

Naruto stopped kissing her. He shrugged off the sleeves of his dress shirt and pulled his undershirt off over his head. Sakura smirked.

"My turn." She said.

Sakura brushed the pads of all five fingers up and down the contours of his chest and felt the muscles under her fingers quiver. Naruto skimmed his knuckles up and down the links of her spine and when Sakura finished treating each individual muscle on his chest with a hot open-mouthed kiss, he splayed his hands across the expanse of her silky smooth back and pulled her up so he could taste her lips once more.

When he had gotten his fill of her lips he backed away from her panting. Sakura used his momentary distraction to take the time to slowly pull down his cotton boxers and let them join his pants at his feet. His erection sprang free. Sakura regarded it curiously. She had sex so infrequently that she scarcely knew what to do with it. But she didn't want to seem out of practice, and she didn't want to keep him waiting. She saw that a tiny pearl of semen had formed at the tip, so she rubbed it with her finger. When he gave a soft groan in appreciation, she took this as her cue to stroke the entire length with her trembling hand.

Naruto kissed her forehead and gently pushed her away. "Bed." He said. "We're going to do this right, so we need a bed."

Sakura thought for a moment. The journey to her bedroom seemed to far, but the pull out couch would probably break if they shook it to hard. Her brain was already melted butter. She had no idea what to do or say.

But Naruto must have sensed her dilemma because he started to take all of the pillows and cushions off of the furniture.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

He smiled. "I'm building you a bed."

When he was finished Sakura lay down on top of the cushion and stretched her body across them. She felt Naruto's eyes finally capture her the way he had been trying to do all evening. She wasn't even trying to be sexy. "I want you." She said honestly. "You cannot possibly understand how badly I want you."

He sat down next to her. "I was about to say the same to you. You're my dream girl, and you have always been my dream girl." His smiled faded into a smoldering look of desire. "And now I'm going to have you."

He pushed her legs apart and began to kiss his way up her inner thigh. He stopped and looked up just as he was about to reach the top. "You're soaked, you're soaking wet, Sakura. Is that how badly you want me?"

Sakura gave a weak nod. Her entire body was on fire. She closed her eyes and felt his lingering touches. Everywhere he had touched her, everywhere he had kissed her sizzled and steamed.

"No." he said hoarsely. "Keep your eyes open. They're beautiful and I want to see them."

Sakura obliged and smiled stupidly. "You really think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes." His hand moved back to stroking her. "I don't think there is a man on this earth who would deny that."

Sakura moaned softly. "You're wonderful. You're a god, Naruto. No one would deny that either. I'm so lucky to have you here." That's right… he couldn't stay with her.

He sat there just watching her for a while. He brushed lazy circled on her stomach with the back of his fingers and she hummed in approval. Then he opened her up, slowly and carefully as if she was made of the most delicate glass. He pushed his finger deep inside of her and she moaned and grinded against his hand. She gasped when he leaned in and brushed his tongue over her, and she gripped the sheets tightly and stifled a cry when he found her most sensitive spot.

"Now." Her head was spinning and her entire body was throbbing. "I want it. I _really_ want it."

He maneuvered himself on top of her. He held her neck in one hand and with his thumb, he rubbed the fragile bones under the skin of her throat. "I'm going to take you slowly" he said, "and we're going to make this last forever."

And then he was pushing inside of her with slow, deep thrusts. He kept her senses busy by every so often stroking, caressing, and kissing any skin he could reach. He frustrated her to no end when he sped up his pace just to stop pushing when she felt she was close.

"You're terrible!" She cried. "Just let me go… I want it, _please_."

"Not yet," he said between labored breaths. "I want to give you something to remember."

He pushed faster and faster and Sakura knew that if he stopped again she was going to pass out. But he didn't stop, he kept at it and finally Sakura was allowed to come.

* * *

After they both regained feeling in their legs, they wrapped each other in blankets and went to sit outside on the balcony. Sakura sat in Naruto's lap and he had his arms draped comfortably around her shoulders.

"I never thought I would have the chance to do that." Said Naruto. "He kissed her ear. "You were amazing."

Sakura giggled. "You also seemed to know what you were doing."

She could hardly believe it herself. She had just had sex with Naruto Uzumaki. Correction, she had just had _mind-blowing_ sex with Naruto Uzumaki. How did that happen? Didn't she expressly say that she wasn't going to do anything even remotely sexual with him? They were just simple friends.

But then there was the voice reminding her that he had been building up to this moment for three weeks. This was literally the climax. Then tomorrow, he would be gone for good. Sakura started to feel a little nauseous.

"This was a one time thing, wasn't it?" That was why he was so adamant about making it memorable. It was never going to happen again.

"Do you hate me now?"

Sakura leaned back. "I could never hate you, why would you ask me that?"

He tightened his grip around her. "I've spent weeks making an idiot out of myself in the remote chance that you find it in yourself to kiss me. The entire time I was completely intent on leaving tomorrow. I was greedy. I saw an opportunity to get what I wanted and I took it, ignoring the fact that I was going to have to leave you and that it might hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm going to miss you. For the next couple of days I'm going to feel unbearably empty and I'll think about you nonstop. It won't last forever though. I'm not going to cry over it. I have my work to keep me busy and I've still got a friend or two around her that I can lean on." She yawned sleepily. "I don't regret it, do you?"

"How could I? It was perfect. Part of me wants to stay here with you forever."

Sakura smirked. "I wonder which part of you that is."

"I really wish we had gotten down to this on my first day here. Then I could have made love to your every night of the week."

"It's probably a good thing that we saved this until your last night."

"Why's that?" asked Naruto.

Sakura stared at her hands. "We both know that we're not meant for each other. We both know the hundreds of reason why this could never work. I'm not in love with you right now. I care for you more than you could possibly imagine, but I'm not in love with you." She took a breath. "If we were to do this every night I could see myself falling hard for you. I know that might sound appealing now, but it would be pure poison in the long run."

Naruto nuzzled her shoulder. "I could ask you to wait for me but I won't. I think I could really get used to the idea that you are mine, but it wouldn't last. It wouldn't be fair to you, and it would compromise my ability to do my job. I can't be thinking about you like this when we're on opposite sides of the world. If falling in love with you means losing you, then I think I'm just fine with things staying the way they are now." He shifted behind her. "Promise me that you'll find someone else. You deserve to be cherished."

It was beginning to dawn on her that she couldn't do much better than the man behind her burying his face into her hair. "You too, Naruto. Find some secret agent woman who speak binary code and has perpetually perky D cups."

"Anything larger then a B is wasteful."

"You're lying!" Sakura accused. "I can hear that stupid smile of yours."

"I can't stop smiling." He said. "I keep telling myself to be serious, but I'm just so happy."

Sakura turned around and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips. "You're glowing man, you must have just gotten laid."

Naruto shook his head. "I am now the envy of every man who has ever passed through the gate of Konoha Senior High School." He made a face. "Except for Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara Sabaku. God how I hated those bastards."

Gaara. Naruto had been a great distraction, but she had kept Gaara and his engagement in the back of her mind. Though sitting in the glow of the city lights with Naruto did make the whole thing seem monumentally less lousy.

"You know I've run into Gaara a couple times in this city." Sakura said casually.

"Well, how about that." Naruto said, sounding not the least bit interested.

Sakura decided for both of their sakes not to continue down that road of conversation. "So you're off to Konoha tomorrow. Do me a favor and say 'hi' to Tsunade for me. Maybe you could bring her some flowers?"

Naruto kissed the top of her spine. "Of course. I'll get the prettiest flowers from the Yamanaka shop."

Sakura felt her eyes begin to droop. "You've exhausted me. I need sleep. _You_ need sleep. You've got to wake up early tomorrow and pack."

"Okay." He hoisted her and himself up off the ground. "I'd like to think I've earned the right to sleep in your bed."

The pink haired woman sighed. "The same rules apply. I don't care how sexy you are or how badly you want it. If you get in the way of my sleep, I will cut you."

"No worries there, I'm exhausted too. You more than satisfied me."

Sakura blushed. "Enough flattery, let's get to bed."

"I'm going to really miss you." He said when they got to the door of her bedroom.

"Try hard not to."

"I will if you will." He smiled. "But promise me you won't forget this night."

"Never. I will never forget this night."

* * *

**This is actually the single longest ff chapter I've ever written. My friend dragged me to a three day women's study seminar and all I had was my computer and a phamlet on vagina power. I thought I could do something scandelous like watching porn, but it turns out there is no internet! Instead I wrote this chapter. **

**I was originally set on writing about Sai or having Sakura have a fling with a stranger, but when I started to write about Naruto, I realized that I could make something very mushy gushy about unrequited love. I've never bought into the NaruSaku pairing, but not I'm a little interested and might check it out.  
**

**I truthfully didn't know how Naruto would act as a twenty something year old, so I just designed a character that flowed with the plot of the story. Sakura was a little bit unlike herself, but there was a few moments when she was very clearly the Sakura we all know and love. **

**Yeah, I wrote about sex. I stole a line or two from a story I read in the back of an old issue of Cosmo, but the marjority of it was just me guessing how _good_ sex would actually be like. **

**This chapter is dedicated to all the people out there who have been either oblivious or in denial about a suitor's advances, and all of the people who have saved a relationship by not sleeping with their best friend.  
**

**THANKS for all the reviews the last chapter got. TOTALLY ROCKED MY WORLD!**

**God I love you people.  
**

**So uh, if you made it to the end and didn't puke, leave a review. Or if it made you want to scratch your eyes out, you may also leave a review. However this may only aplly to a few readers, but I'm bisexual and I date girl. If you use any type of slurs or inflamatory langauge in your review I'm going to delete your review, judge you as a ignorant bigot, and silently hate you.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**OK! THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTE, I REPEAT, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTE! .!**

**I redid chapter five. I reread it and realized I hated it. I hated what happened to Gaara's character. It was too sweet too fast. I like the new version better. Let me know if you do or don't, but I don't think I'll be changing it back. **

**So go back and read chapter 5 again. It's not necessary to read chapter 6, there was nothing in there to change. **

**And if you didn't read chapter 6 at all there are a couple of mentions of it in this chapter, but it's mostly just because there was some character development. So don't freak out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto  
**

* * *

Did you read the author's note? If not look up and read it unless you want to be very confused!

"Are you lonely?" asked Dr. Soto.

"Lonely?" Sakura repeated. "Why would you ask me that?"

"It's been a little over two weeks since your friend left. I thought that you might be missing his presence." The therapist explained.

She missed Naruto, but at the same time, she was relieved that he was gone. They had had such a nice night together that she didn't want to give either of them a chance to ruin it. He had left at just the right time. Their friendship had grown and by going their separate ways they had preserved it too.

"My apartment felt too quiet and too empty for a couple days, but I think things are back to normal now. I'm not lonely."

"That's good to hear." The doctor smiled. "Do you feel any different now? Do you think his visit changed you in any way?"

Sakura was quiet for a moment. "I think I might want to start dating again. I think I might have room for a man in my life."

"Sakura, that's an excellent development!" exclaimed Dr. Soto. "I think it's a great idea for you to start dating again."

"Don't misunderstand," Said Sakura, "I'm not going to actively pursue anyone, but if the right person comes along I'm not going to push him away. This might sound stupid, but I'm starting to really believe that there is someone out there holding half of my heart. I want to fall in love."

Dr. Soto gawked at her. Sakura nervously fiddled with the buttons on the sleeve of her shirt.

"That sounds really stupid doesn't it? I mean, me in love?" Sakura scoffed. "That's something crazy right there."

"No Sakura, it's not crazy at all. I didn't mean to look at you like that, but I was just so surprised. Pleasantly surprised. This is just another huge development for you. I'll be honest and say that after our first couple of sessions I was beginning to think you were a hopeless case, but this is really wonderful. I'm proud of you."

"Oh." Sakura forced a laugh. "I guess I have changed a little bit in the past couple of months."

"This is good. This is really good." She crossed her legs and shifted in her seat. "Now I know you've been busy with your friends and work, but have you given any thoughts to what I said a few weeks ago about investing in a hobby?"

Truthfully? No she hadn't. She was beginning to think that her frustration at work had something to do with all the other things she had going on in her life. If she could just get back to her original routine then everything would go back to normal and she would be able to do her job properly.

"I've thought about stamp collecting." Sakura lied.

Dr. Soto raised an eyebrow. "Did you know that you lean slightly to the left when you're getting ready to lie to me?"

The scientist sighed. "One thing at a time Dr. Soto, I'm just not ready to do this all right now."

"I think that soon you'll realize that they key to your happiness is loosening up on some of these rules and goals you have set for yourself and, for lack of better words, listening to your heart. I know you believe that you're in charge of your destiny so there is no one to blame but yourself if you squander your life hiding in the laboratory. You need to wake up and see that you're young, talented, beautiful, and you've still got a long life ahead of you. Take a chance, Sakura. You never know what might become of it."

Sakura avoided the doctor's eyes. "Times up." She said quietly.

* * *

"I specifically said that I was not going to get on the offensive. I'm going to wait for love to come to me."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Shut up and drink you martini. And stop slouching. Men are attracted to women with good posture."

Sakura hated bars. Bars were for people who liked to drink too much and have one-night-stands. Sakura liked bottled water and science journals. She knew that there was no way that she would possibly connect with anyone she met.

Ino nudged Sakura with her elbow. "Do _not_ look behind you. There is a group of paralegals checking you out."

Sakura stared at her drink. "How can you tell that they're paralegals?"

"They come here every week. They always go after fresh meat, and guess what Sakura?"

"I'm a fresh meat." She finished for her. "I'm a newbie."

"You got it." Ino inconspicuously scanned the crowd. "How do you feel about breaking up marriages?"

"Ino! That's a terrible thing to ask me. I'm looking for my soul mate not adultery."

Ino smirked. "You keep throwing around the words 'soul mate'. Why don't you just come clean and admit you just want to find someone to do the dirty with?"

Sakura was outraged. "This isn't about sex, this is about finding true love!"

"So it's just a coincidence that you came to this revelation after you finally got some and ended your dry spell?"

That just wasn't it. She wasn't going to deny that she was happy to have rediscovered sex, but that wasn't her motivation. Being with Naruto reminded her that while there were men out there who were wrong for her, somewhere there was a man who was right for her. There was a man whose place in this world was to make her happy.

"What happened between me and Naruto wasn't just sex, believe it or not what we did just made us closer friends. It was perfect for us but it wasn't the same thing as being in love. Something was missing from the experience, and I'm going to find out just was that is."

Ino brought her glass to her lips and downed her drink in one big gulp. "Can I get another one of these?" She asked the bartender. She put the glass down and turned to Sakura. "Look, it's clear to me that you and I don't live on the same planet. If you want to hold out for prince charming that's just fine, but don't come crying to me when he feeds you to the dragon."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to fall in love with the dragon. Prince charming has never really done it for me anyways."

The bartender returned with Ino's new drink and the two friends sat in silence. Four months ago Sakura would have never believed that she would be out at a bar drinking on a work night, and she certainly would have never believed in things like love and soul mates. It was all so un-scientific.

"So what are we doing now?" Asked Sakura.

Ino sighed. "Apparently we're waiting for love."

"Love has arrived!" Said a male voice.

Sakura looked in the direction of the voice and saw a short old man with a bright white full head of hair pull out the bar stool next to her and plop himself right down beside her. She recognized him immediately as the Lieutenant.

"I saw the two most beautiful girls in the bar and knew that I was fated to make their acquaintances." He said.

"Hello." Sakura said, wondering if he remembered her or not. He had really only seen her from afar.

"Get lost, pervert." Said Ino. "Go find some women your own age."

He ignored Ino and leered at Sakura. "So what do you say, Cherry Blossom? Hows about you and me ditch the blond and I take you home to show you a good time?"

Sakura was speechless. This guy had to be at least seventy-five years old! And he was a military man! He shouldn't be out on a Thursday night picking up chicks at a bar. He should be at home shining his shoes and listening to The Andrews Sisters. Luckily Ino was there to speak for her.

"She's flattered, Old Man, but this girl is actually saving herself for marriage. So unless your idea of 'a good time' is reading the bible and doing needle point I think it's best that you just move on."

The Lieutenant laughed a wheezy laugh. "Well if you're interested in becoming wife number seven I'd gladly take you to the court house and marry you. I have a time share in Miami where we can spend our honeymoon." His eyes sparkled. "Unless of course you think there is someone else out there who's better suited to be your husband?"

Marry him? Honeymoon? Sakura tried not to think about what that old man would look like naked. "I'm sure you're a good man and would make an even better husband, but I'm kind of only interested in men my own age. I'm sorry."

The old man wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "That wasn't the answer I was hoping for, but hey, you can't blame a man for trying right?"

She forced a smile. "No, I suppose not."

He winked at her. "Well, I'll be seeing you Cherry Blossom. If you need me you'll know where to find me."

Sakura's eyebrow twitched. Was this man senile or something? What was this nonsense he was talking about? "Um, take care of yourself."

The Lieutenant laughed, hopped off the stool and walked straight out of the bar, leaving a stupefied Sakura in his wake.

"Okay, you win." Said Ino. "Bars are not the ideal places to meet men."

Sakura stared at the door half expecting him to walk right through it and try his luck with her again. "That was the single weirdest thing to happen to me since the day I found that battery in my carton of milk."

"No kidding. We are _seriously_ going to need some more drinks over here. Start looking pretty or we're going to have to start paying for them ourselves."

To Sakura's amazement they didn't end up paying for their own drinks. More than just a few men came by to say hello and give them their numbers.

Ino did most of the talking. She seemed to always have the right thing to say. Sakura observed her friend's body language and facial expressions as she conversed with the men that approached them. It's not that Sakura didn't know how to flirt, it was just that she wasn't sure that what Ino was doing could be called flirting. Ino kept an easy smile on lips but her eyes were sharp and calculating. She left her chest and arms open but she kept a good distance away from whomever it was talking to. She used small words in a sweet voice to coax personal and contact information out of the men she was interested in.

Sakura kept mostly to herself. She didn't feel any special attraction toward any of the men who came over to her so she wasn't very responsive. Truth be told, she was actually feeling a little sick. Some of the men gave her their numbers anyways.

They stayed until after all of the other patrons had left the bar. Ino had struck up some sort friendship with the man who owned the bar. The owner was going through a bitter divorce and his wife was trying to win the bar in the settlement. It seemed that Ino had just the sympathetic ear he was looking for.

Sakura put her head down on the bar counter and closed her eyes. It was either very late at night or very early in the morning. She had to go to sleep so she could wake up and go to work, but she was too tired to even think about hailing a cab to take her home. The trip to the bar had been a mistake. She should have never let Ino talk her into going.

"Hey, did one of you drop this?" Asked the man sweeping the floor. "It was on the ground next to your seat."

Sakura squinted. It looked like he was holding up a ribbon attached to a gold coin. "What is it?"

"I think it's a service medal." Said the bar owner. "You know, like the kind they give out in the army."

It had to be the Lieutenant's. It must have fallen out of his pocket when he was hitting on her. Sakura took it out of the cleaning man's hands.

"I'll take it over to the VA center and see if they might know who it belongs too." Hopefully she wouldn't have to actually see the Lieutenant again and she could just drop it off for him at the front desk.

The bar owner nodded. "If someone comes looking for it I'll just direct them their."

"Right." Sakura smiled. "Well, we should probably get going now. Good night, guys."

"We'll be back. Sakura here hasn't met her soul mate yet." Ino teased.

Oh, Ino was _never_ going to let her live that down was she?

"Well right now the only white horse waiting for me is a yellow taxi cab."

Sakura kept her fist closed over the medal and held it tightly. Tomorrow after work, she would go to the VA.

* * *

Sakura took a deep breath and wiped the vomit from the corners of her mouth. Kabuto Yakushi was the single vilest man on the face of the earth.

The day had started out badly to begin with. Sakura, for the life of her, did not want to get up. Her internal clock failed to wake her up on time so she didn't end up getting out of bed until around seven. She spent a good ten minutes adjusting the knobs in her shower, but she still couldn't find the right temperature. The water either felt too hot or too cold. Sakura banged her head against the wall when she found that the outfit she had planned on wearing hadn't been dry-cleaned. Her hair refused to cooperate and distracted her for long enough that she burned her coffee. She broke the heels of her favorite shoes walking out the door and realized that she had put her bra straps on all twisted.

It was rush hour when she finally made it out of her apartment so not only were there no seats on the bus, but there was also very little room to stand. She was stuck between a fat businessman with wandering hands and an old lady who was constantly coughing up green mucus into a tissue. When Sakura finally made it to the hospital she thought her problems would be over.

It turned out that she had gotten there just in time to watch two of her youngest patients die.

Sakura spent the better part of her morning consoling the hysterical parents and helping them make arrangements for the bodies to be released. The entire time she was fighting back her own tears.

These trials were cruel. Usually, Sakura liked rules. She liked to follow rules and she liked to make rules, but this transcended her personal likes and dislikes. The kids who were dying might all be from the placebo group. If she could just get into their closed files and find out with combination of medicines were working best she could administer the treatment to the rest of the children. But this would be braking the rules and voiding her trial. Instead of curing these children, she had to watch them die with her hands tied behind her back. She was beginning to wonder if she had made the right career choice after all. She was becoming impatient.

Sakura collapsed into her usual seat next to Naomi's bed. The little girl patted Sakura on the head.

"It's okay, Dr. Haruno." She said. "Mrs. Lee told me that when sick children die their souls go straight to heaven. I'm not afraid to die, if I go to heaven I can see mommy and daddy again."

The pink haired scientist put her face in her hands. "Oh, Naomi please don't talk like that. You're treatment is really working; you're not going to die. You can't die."

It probably wasn't the best idea for Sakura to get close to any of her patients, but it was a little late for that. Against her better judgment, Sakura had come to think of Naomi as the little sister she never had. If Naomi were to die then Sakura, already not handling the deaths well, would probably fall apart. She was stupid to treat Naomi differently than the other patients; it was only going to hurt them both in the long run.

"I'm going to miss Sami. Sami was my boyfriend." Said Naomi.

Sakura look up in surprise. "Sami was a year younger than you."

The little girl shrugged. "He treated me right."

"He didn't cheat on you?" Sakura teased.

Naomi shook her head solemnly. "He called me princess and drew me a picture of a flower."

Oh how she had _loathed_ it when Gaara Sabaku used to call her princess.

"We went on a date but we didn't get to kiss because Mrs. Lee was watching us the whole time."

"You're a little young to be kissing boys aren't you?" asked Sakura.

"No!" Naomi sat up in her bed. "What was your first kiss like?"

It was one of the few nice memories she had of dating Sasuke Uchiha. "It was half-time during a football game and after he scored a touchdown he climbed up into the stands and kissed me on the lips." He probably just did it to show off to the rest of the crowd, but at the time she had found it to be very romantic.

"I've never been to a football game." Said Naomi.

"Unless your team is winning it's not very fun to watch."

Naomi stared at the blankets on her bed. "Do you think maybe we can do something fun together when I stop being sick?"

Sakura laughed. "I think that sounds like an excellent idea. When you're feeling better I'll take you anywhere you want to go."

"Pinky promise?" Naomi held up her littlest finger.

Sakura hooked their fingers together. "I pinky promise."

The little girl smiled. "I'm getting sleepy now."

"You should rest now. The scientist stood up and tucked in Naomi's blankets. "I'm going to go talk to some of the other doctors."

Naomi closed her eyes and rolled onto her side. "Bye Dr. Sakura."

Sakura backed away from the bed and smiled. Naomi really was something precious.

"That wasn't very professional." Said a hissing voice behind her.

Sakura turned around and saw that Dr. Orochimaru had been watching them the entire time.

Orochimaru smiled. "That kind of talk will compromise the validity of your trial."

Sakura straightened up. Orochimaru was a snake. "I know the rules. I haven't crossed any lines."

"Yet. You haven't crossed and lines _yet_, but you're getting close. I don't want to have to tell the other scientists about what I saw today."

"Yes sir, it won't happen again." She started to feel sick. He was right, for the greater good she could not jeopardize this legitimacy of the trial.

"I'm glad to hear it. I'd hate to see your career go down the toilet for one tiny mistake." Said Orochimaru. "Dr. Kabuto is looking for you. He's over by the nurses counter."

"Thank you, sir. I'll go find him now." She resisted the urge to spit on him. He was a liar. He had had it out for her since the day she interviewed for the job. She knew that he would love to see her get fired.

She walked away with her fists clenched tightly. Like hell she was going to stop caring for Naomi. She was just going to have to make sure she was more discreet about it.

Sakura joined Kabuto at the counter. He began to talk to her, but she wasn't listening. Instead, she watched the mother of one of the dead patients cry helplessly in the arms of her husband. She began to feel sick again.

"Sakura," Kabuto waved a hand in front of her eyes. "Are you listening to me?"

She shook herself out of it. "Sorry I was just… It's just really sad."

Kabuto smiled. "Yeah, I know what you mean. They're really dropping like flies."

Sakura was hit by a wave of nausea. Dropping like flies? _Dropping like flies?_ These were human beings he was talking about. These were children! How could he say something like that?

"I know they're sad, but this crying is excessive. It's not like they can't have other children." Said Kabuto. "I would have thought that the treatments…

Sakura felt her stomach lurch. What ever Kabuto was trying to say she was not sticking around to hear.

She sprinted to the bathroom and pushed the door open with both hands. She made it just in time to violently heave an acid mixture of stomach bile and rotten coffee into the toilet. Sakura dropped to her knees. Her ovaries hurt too. Was she ovulating? Boy, this was _really_ not her day.

Did getting your M.D or PhD mean you had to forfeit your heart and sell your soul? Was this something that she really wanted to do? Was it worth it?

Dr. Sakura Haruno cursed the science gods and reached for the toilet paper to try to clean up a bit. This was not how she pictured her life would be like. This was not what she wanted.

But then again, she didn't really know what she wanted.

* * *

The first thing she noticed was that it smelled like old people. It made sense considering she was in the wing of the VA center for retired veterans.

"What is this place exactly?" Sakura asked the woman at the front desk. She was slightly overweight and poorly dressed, but Sakura could tell right away that she was a nice person.

"It's basically a retirement home for veterans. The sick ones live here and the rest just come in day to day for the activities." The woman smiled kindly and handed Sakura an orange sheet of paper. "This is our activity calendar."

Sakura skimmed over it. Tonight they were going to have a concert, Monday they were going to take a trip to the art museum, and Wednesday they were going to the outlet mall. "Who pays for all of this?" asked Sakura.

"Well, the government runs the VA hospital so they take care of health care part, and we do receive a fair amount of funding from them. Most of what goes on here is a result of donations and volunteers. Aside from the nurses and doctors, none of the people working here are paid. Unfortunately we get more and more retirees coming in everyday, and in this economy we lose volunteers just as easily. "

It never ceased to amaze her that there were still kind hearted and generous people out there. Sure the Lab received tens of millions of dollars in donations and government grants, but there were no volunteers. At the end of the week, everyone took home a paycheck. She felt guilty and it made her sad to hear that there weren't enough people working in the center.

"So can I help you with something?" asked the receptionist. "Or are you just here to check this place out?"

"Well-"

"You wouldn't happen to be here to help us out would you? We are in desperate need for someone to spend time with the sick patients. Or do you know how to cook? Our cooking instructor has cut back on her hours and cooking is one of our most popular activities. Some of our people just need someone to talk to or to lend an ear. Most of them come because they're lonely and are looking for people to relate to, but they still want to make an impact on the younger generation. You could really learn a lot from them."

"Actually right now I'm just visiting someone." Sakura forced a smile. That nauseous feeling had returned.

"Oh, I see." She gave a sad smile. "Are you Officer Talon's daughter?"

"Um No. I'm actually here… Maybe you know who I'm talking about, he goes by the name 'The Lieutenant'."

The receptionist laughed. "There isn't a woman in this entire building who doesn't know The Lieutenant." The woman's face lit up in understanding. "So you're the girl he told me about! He said you'd be coming today. Go on ahead down the hallway. His is the third door on the left."

He knew that she would be coming? Had he really planned all this? That conniving old bastard! Sakura Haruno did _not_ appreciate being manipulated. Just what was this old man planning?

She considered turning around and going home. It would serve that fool right for messing with her. But the receptionist had been so sweet to her. She seemed genuinely excited that Sakura was there. She just didn't have the heart to leave like that. That meant that she had only one choice.

"You know what, do you have some forms I could fill out? I think I _am_ interested in doing some volunteer work here." Said Sakura.

The receptionist's face brightened. "Oh, that's so wonderful to hear! I'll have to go get them from the administrative office. How about I give you them on your way out?"

"That sounds perfect." Sakura smiled. "I'm off to see the Lieutenant now." She turned around and headed down the hallway.

The third door on the left was closed. Was Sakura supposed to knock? She heard great spouts of wheezy laughter coming from the other side. She decided she was going to suck it up and just barge inside. She swung the door open.

"Where are you old man?" she yelled. "What game are you playing with me?"

There were six men sitting around a circular table with cards in their hands and colorful chips laid out in front of them.

"What am I playing?" Said the Lieutenant. "Why poker of course!"

The rest of the table seemed to find this _hilarious_ because they all erupted into a fit of laughter.

Sakura massaged her temples. This man was _seriously_ getting on her nerves. She didn't want to have a headache on top of the pain in her stomach that was becoming sharper and sharper as the day went on. "I meant, why did you trick me into coming here?"

The Lieutenant put his cars down and smiled mischievously. "Why else does a man trick a pretty girl into coming to see him?"

The scientist turned around and head out the door. "I don't have time for this lunacy."

"Wait." Called the old man. "There is someone here who wants to see you."

Did he mean… was it…

Sakura swallowed. "Okay. You have my attention."

She heard him push his chair backward and walk up behind her. Did _he_ want to see her? Was it _him_? She had forgotten that this was the place Gaara Sabaku came to. What if she saw him here? What would she do if this were the person who had asked to see her?

"He's just down the hall from us." He took Sakura's arms and pulled her out the door. Sakura was slightly amused to see that this old man was almost a head shorter than her. Her brought her to another closed door. "He's just inside here waiting for us.

Sakura thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She reached for the doorknob and slowly began to turn…

"That's not how you open a door!" shouted the old man. He lifted a leg and forcefully kicked the door open.

Sakura was too stunned to move. She was greeted by a tall man with long white hair. "Jiraiya…"

"I knew when the Lieutenant said he met a pink haired beauty that it had to be you. Only when he said 'beauty' I didn't imagine you to be this flat chested." Jiraiya laughed. "How are you Sakura?"

Sakura was having a hard time finding a voice to speak. "I haven't seen you since Tsunade's funeral."

"I've made a trip or two back to Konoha to see Minato but it was after you had already left. I thought about coming to visit you, but I really cannot stand your mother. When I saw Naruto and he said you were still living in the city I thought I should find away to contact you."

Couldn't he have just asked Naruto for her phone number? Jiraiya had been like and eccentric uncle to her growing up. He had been always traveling all over the country and to far away place. He always brought back presents for her and headaches for Tsunade.

Sakura looked at the Lieutenant and then at Jiraiya. She snorted. "I can see why the two of you are friends. You're both old perverts."

"Why would god have given us Viagra if he didn't want us to keep having fun?" Asked the Lieutenant.

Jiraiya laughed joyously. "Here, here!"

Dirty old men. They were both dirty old men. But it was still nice to see Jiraiya, and the Lieutenant was starting to grow on her too.

She was suddenly struck by a horrible thought. "Jiraiya, you're not _sick_ are you?" she whispered.

Jiraiya's face grew serious. "No, I'm just old. I don't come here often. I'm really only here because the Lieutenant promised me he could find you. For a small fee of course."

"Let me guess, Icha Icha books?"

"You got it!" said the Lieutenant. "Best damn novels I've ever read."

Sakura sighed. She thought this was a place for kind old men to play bingo and watch _The Price is Right_. Jiraiya was seated at a desk with a pen and large stack of papers in front of him. He was probably writing his next porno book.

"So do you want to get dinner or something?" asked Sakura.

"Why I would love to!" answered the Lieutenant.

Sakura shot him a dirty look. "Not you, you lecherous old man. I was talking to Jiraiya."

"I'm afraid I have a prior engagement tonight, but if you really want to you can buy me dinner tomorrow." Said Jiraiya.

She had forgot that he was the kind of guy who would make a girl pay for his meal. There was no doubt in her mind that deep down he was as upstanding as the next guy, but personality made it hard for anyone to appreciate him. Tsunade has said that even when they were growing up all he thought about was breasts and how to get his hands on them. It was hard to believe that this guy was considered somewhat of a mentor to the Uzumaki family.

"I'll buy you lunch, but not dinner. You can meet me at _The Tea Garden_ on the corner of Thirty Fourth Street and West Avenue around one o' clock. Be sure to bring lots of pictures from all the places you've been." Said Sakura. She used to love to look at pictures of far away places.

"Sounds good to me." He smiled knowingly. "I can't wait. I want to here all about how your dinner with Naruto went."

Sakura blushed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"So he succeeded! That kid really is like a son to me."

Oh god, how did everyone but her see through Naruto's intentions? "Well, I'm going to let you get back to your writing…"

"You're not leaving, are you?" asked the Lieutenant. "I wanted to give you the grand tour!"

Actually, Sakura was kind of interested in the place. Dr. Soto had been bugging her about finding something to do outside of work. Before, she thought, the hell with it, and was just going to spend more time in the lab, but now after talking to that woman at the front desk, she felt some sort of obligation.

"I suppose I have some time I can spare." Said Sakura slowly. "And I'd like to take a look around too."

The Lieutenant held out his arm. "Then we shall commence with the tour, my cherry blossom."

"Right." She took his arm again and allowed him to lead her out the door.

"Now over here we have the arts and crafts room." He said, pointing to and open door on her left. "I never did much care for artsy fartsy crap."

Sakura snuck a peek inside. Old people wearing white smocks and armed with paintbrushes were gathered around art easels. A bowl of fruit sat on a stand in the middle of the room. The room smelled of turpentine.

"Here on the right we have our cooking class. I never liked cooking either. Cooking is a woman's job."

Sakura's eyebrow twitched. So he was a sexist along with being a pervert.

She looked inside the room and saw that this time the occupants were dressed in aprons and the room smelled of freshly baked bread.

"In this room we have bingo. Bingo is for wimps."

"In this room we have movies. Most of them are boring."

"In this room we have aerobics. Jumping up and down makes me nauseous."

"This is the lounge. The couches are uncomfortable."

They stopped walking when they reached the door at the end of the hallway.

"This is my favorite room in the entire building." The Lieutenant reached for the door handle. "Should I show you inside?"

Sakura felt a tug at the corners of her mouth. "Okay." What could possibly be in the Lieutenant's favorite room?"

The old man pushed the door open and held it like a gentleman for Sakura to walk through.

To say that she was surprised would be an understatement. She took a few steps forward and was faced with rows and rows of jam packed bookshelves. The Lieutenant's favorite room was a library? How did a man who went to bars and hit on young women love books?

And then she saw him. He was standing next to a cart of books and restocking shelves. Gaara Sabaku had his headphones in his ears and was humming softly as he put the books back into their proper places.

The pain in Sakura's stomach returned with a vengeance. She had to get out of that library.

"So do you want to see our collection of audio books?" Asked the Lieutenant.

Sakura turned around. "No, actually I just remembered I have someplace to be. I think I better-"

"Sakura?"

The pink haired woman turned back around. Gaara had taken his headphones out of his ears and wrapped them around his neck. His eyes were narrowed at her.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

Sakura felt her face begin to turn red. "Well, you see the Lieutenant-"

"Can you give us a minute alone, sir?" Gaara asked the old man.

The Lieutenant waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Ah, I see. You two made a love connection that day on the boat. Well, who am I to get in the way of young love? I'll just be going then."

Sakura could have told him to stop. She could have run out the door. But instead, she stood there, rooted to the ground with the pain just above her hipbone throbbing. Ovulation had never felt like this before…

After the old man left the former couple stood there staring at each other. Gaara's glare was going to burn a whole though Sakura's face.

"Are you obsessed with me?" he asked finally.

"What?" Sakura's eyes grew wide. "No! Of course not."

Gaara began to walk toward her. "Because I can't think of a single reason why you would come looking for me like this. How many times to I have to tell you that I never want to see your face again?"

"It's not like that, I didn't mean for-"

"Because I think I've made it pretty clear that I feel nothing for you other than disgust."

"You have to believe-"

He was coming closer to her. "I'm getting married, did you know that? What's my fiancé going to think when I have this pitiful excuse for a woman stalking me around the city?"

The pain was searing now. The room began to spin. Sakura felt her stomach quiver.

"Can't you just leave me alone? Is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Gaara I-" She put her hand over her mouth.

Her stomach was being turned inside out. She had to find the bathroom. She tried to step away from him but her legs weren't working right. She tried to reach out to steady herself but there was nothing for her to hold on to.

"What the hell, Sakura. Is this some sort of act?" Gaara demanded.

Sakura shook her head. Bad idea. She clutched her stomach. It wasn't enough.

The next thing she knew she was hunched over vomiting the entire contents of her stomach onto Gaara's shoes.

There was no time to be embarrassed. The ground started to move out from under her and the floor rose up to meet her face. After that everything went dark.

* * *

**I feel obligated to tell you right here and now SAKURA IS NOT PREGNANT! Most of you can probably guess what's wrong with her. And for male readers or anyone who doesn't know this, ovulation can be very painful for some women (I think this is called mittelschmerz). **

**Soooo I hope you guys liked this chapter. THanks ! to everyone who reviewed. (great job not using offensive language this time!) A lot of people didn't like the last chapter (yikes! flames!) at first I was really upset and when someone told me the story was boring I considered redoing the whole thing, but then I remembered something important. **

**I own this bitch. I'm the writer. I can write whatever I want, and no one is forcing anyone to read it. So I will keep writing what I want to write. Also I recently realized that ff. net doesn't email me all of the reviews people send to me (i actually never knew that) so if you've ever left me a lengthy review and never got a response, it's probably because I never found it.  
**

**I think I made the character development from the last chapter clear in this chapter too. I actually went and briefly checked out the SakuNaru world but I didn't see anything that really got my attention (i didn't look very hard though) and I think it's funny that I turned people on to that pairing because before I wrote chapter 6 I would have never even considered it. Funny right?**

**Yesterday in class I started a new fic. It had been bouncing around in my head for a while and was inspired by the preview I saw for that new Channing Tatum movie and the sort of fairy tale allusions I've left in this story. So this other fic is going to be very fairly tale oriented and told through Gaara's perspective. (Sakura is the crazy on in this story!) I'll post that tomorrow so please read it if you're bored :)**

**REVIEW PWK chapter 7 friends. I love you dearly.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, it's a short chapter and not much happens, but it's better than nothing, right? Actually, I feel like some of you are going to hate this chapter. I'm a little unsure of it myself but I thought I would post it anyways. If I decide later I don't like it... I reserve the right to change it. **

**Thanks to _A Demon's Flower._**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

* * *

Sakura awoke to the sound of the steadily beeping heart monitor. She tried to sit up as to better evaluate her surroundings, but a short haired woman dressed in pink scrubs put a hand on Sakura's chest and gently pushed her back down. She noticed for the first time that her stomach hurt and her entire body felt weak and achy.

"Careful, Honey," the woman in pink said in a gentle voice, "you don't want to rip out one of your stitches."

Sakura wanted to speak, but her throat was too dry for her to properly form words. The woman seemed to have sensed her dilemma because she handed Sakura a cup of water. Sakura drank it in small sips. Why was it that she had stitches? Could all of this just be a bizarre dream?

"Are you a nurse?" Sakura asked hoarsely

"I am." The nurse smiled kindly and began to busy herself with the metal clipboard on the end of Sakura's bed.

"Am I at a hospital?"

"You are," Answered the nurse. She returned to Sakura's side and began to adjust her IV drip bag.

"What happened? All I can remember is throwing up. After that I don't know…" Sakura put her hand on her head. "How did I get here?"

The nurse smiled again. "Your boyfriend carried you."

Boyfriend? This had to be a dream. "I don't…"

"It was like something out of a movie." Said the nurse dreamily. "He refused to let go of you until he was certain he was talking to the best doctor in the ER. Even then he didn't let go of your hand." The nurse adjusted Sakura's pillow and sighed. "You should have seen his face when they told him you were going to need surgery. I thought he was going to pass out. He's been in the waiting room for four hours. Every time I walk by he asks me how you're doing. You would have thought that you went in there for a heart transplant."

"At the risk of sounded stupid I'm going to have to ask you what surgery I _did_ go in there for."

"You had an appendectomy. The doctors removed you appendix."

Okay, now Sakura was positive it was a dream. Caring boyfriend? Removing her organs? These kinds of things just don't happen to Sakura Haruno. Her life just wasn't that exciting. The only thing she could remember was throwing up-

Oh shit, she threw up all over Gaara Sabaku! If he didn't hate her before he would certainly hate her now. She hoped that her dream wouldn't end. She did not want to have to wake up and face a revolted Gaara. He would most likely yell at her and berate her like he did every other time they encountered one another. It seemed as if he really wanted her to suffer. Maybe her newfound caring boyfriend would kick his ass for her.

"This is a dream." She told the nurse. "I did not just have my appendix taken out. There was nothing wrong with my appendix in the first place. I just had a stomach bug and some womanly problems."

The nurse continued checking her vitals. "Honey, I can assure you that this is not a dream. Your appendix was enflamed and enlarged, so you've probably been in pain for a couple of days. How do you feel right now?"

Not a dream? Well, she had been feeling pretty sick. "Actually, I feel awful." She closed her eyes. "Lots of pain, and I feel bloated. Why am I bloated?"

"That's normal. The doctors fill your abdomen with gas when they operate laparoscopically so they can better see your organs. You've already been given something for the pain, so don't be surprised if things get a little fuzzy, and you're going to have to stick around here for a day or two just so we can monitor you and make sure you don't have an infection."

Sakura felt slightly dazed. So she really did have surgery? She's really in the hospital? Why didn't anyone wake her up and tell her this was going on? Didn't they need her approval to slice her open? She tried to imagine the surgeons snipping part of her intestine off and dropping it in a metal dish. "When are these painkillers supposed to kick in?"

"Soon, if they haven't already," She said, then she pointed to the door. "Is it alright if I let your boyfriend in? He's made it very clear that he wants to see you."

Sakura wanted to laugh. This poor schlub was going to walk right into her room and see that he had been waiting on the wrong person and his real girlfriend was down the hall having her tonsils taken out. "Sure," she said flippantly, "send him in."

The nurse winked at her. "Don't anything to rip your stitches." She chided knowingly.

Sakura snorted. She wasn't going to do anything other than closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. For once in her life she was going to relax and think light thoughts.

She was going to be in the hospital for a few days. She was probably going to have to take time off from work too. They had taken out her appendix! Were they going to let her get up to use the bathroom? Did the hospital gown make her look fat? How many people saw her naked? She now knew what it was like to be a patient.

She was starting to feel sleepy, sleepy and tingly. The painkillers must have been starting to work. She let out a long breath and let herself drift off to a place where it was warm and dark and there was neither pain nor worries. She heard the door squeak open and subsequent heavy footsteps. She wanted to see whom her visitor was but her eyelids were too heavy to open.

"Sakura," said a familiar voice quietly. "Are you awake?"

She didn't answer. She wasn't awake, but she wasn't asleep yet either. She was too lazy to open her mouth.

She heard the sound of metal scraping the floor and gathered that the chair next to her bed was being pulled closer.

"It's okay, " said the voice in what might have been a soothing tone. "You don't have to wake up. Maybe it's for the best if you stay asleep for a while."

Who was this person? Sakura's brain didn't seem to be working properly.

"Oh god Sakura," he sounded slightly breathless, "I've never been so scared before in my life. I was afraid you would die. All I know how to do is hurt you. All I know how to do is make mistakes."

Gaara. It was Gaara who was speaking so softly. Was it he who had carried her and held her hand? Sakura stopped drifting off. Why wasn't he angry with her? Why did all of the sudden he care that she was in pain?

"My life is good right now." Said Gaara. "I may not be happy, but my life is good. You have a good life too. You've got a job and people who care about you." He stopped for a moment. "If you let me into your life I will only cause you pain. You don't deserve that." He let out a long breath. "I didn't want to see you again. I knew that if I saw you that I would start to have feelings again, I would start to want things again. Everything was simple. I could live my life with out feeling anything or wanting anything."

No. Feeling nothing? Wanting nothing? That wasn't living. That wasn't a life.

"I'm trying to push you away. I'm trying very hard to push you away." His tone was desperate. "It's not working. It's not working and I'm not too sure how much longer I can keep this up for."

Sakura felt a lump form in the back of her throat. Gaara was the only person in the world who could give her this pain. What was he trying to say to her?

"I want to hate you. I want you to hate me. Then this whole thing could just go away. But it seems that no matter where I go or whom I'm with," she heard him swallow and she felt his fingers ghost over her hand as if he were debating over whether or not he could touch her, "I can't stop loving you." he whispered.

Sakura kept waiting to hear the electronic monitor to flat line. She was certain that her heart had stopped beating. This had to be a dream. She had to fight to keep herself calm. This couldn't be real.

"I've tried to stop it, for years I've tried very hard to stop it. You're like some chronic incurable disease, and just when I think I'm in remission you flare up again and put me in agony."

Wow, thanks for the compliment. What girl didn't love to be compared to cancer?

"Sakura…" He finally rested his cold hand on top of hers. "I don't think you realize how complicated this is. You act like we can just play nice and be friends. We were never friends, Sakura. Don't you remember? We didn't get along at all. But ever since then, all I've ever been able to think about when I see you is how badly I want to sit close to you and smoke cigarettes. You're an addiction."

Sakura almost smiled. That's how they had spent most of their time together. All she had really wanted was to be with him and he had been to shy and unsure to do anything other than lean in her direction.

"It doesn't make sense. You're annoying, and you never listen. You always act so surprised when people tell you how smart or how beautiful you are, like you didn't know that already. You get emotional about _everything_, and somehow manage to make every conversation about you. You always act all sweet and innocent and then your eyes get all bright and you go after my head like some sort of rabid animal. You're always assuming things and for some reason you think you're incapable of being wrong. You always just blurt out what's on your mind without ever thinking of the consequences. You act like you know everything about me, and you can tell when I'm lying." Gaara sighed. "You drive me crazy. There is no logical reason as to why I should love you."

Again with the compliments. If she weren't so busy pretending to be asleep, she would treat him with a list of all of _his_ numerous flaws.

She felt him lift her arm and he hesitantly brushed his lips against her wrist. "I couldn't look at my face in the mirror after what happened on the ferry. I didn't realize I was still holding onto you. I didn't think about how I keep hurting you. I should have never called you those names. I lied when I said that I never thought about you. I was _always_ thinking about you."

Sakura tried to keep herself from shaking. She prayed that he would just shut up and leave. She didn't know how she would be able to deal with him if this confessional continued.

"Ten years ago I said terrible things to you. Every word that came out of my mouth was a lie, but I just couldn't stop myself. I was so angry with you. I was so confused. I stopped taking my medicine and I started using drugs because I thought it would turn me into the kind of person you wanted. It worked too. You were so happy on that night when we were together. It was so easy for me to say the right things and stop worrying about doing the wrong things. But then things got out of control, and I was so angry. I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that I was angry and that you were the reason why I felt so confused."

Sakura's mind was reeling. _That_ was the reason he started using? It was all some misguided attempt to become better for her? How could he not have known that she had loved him the way he was? When he was just that skinny red head who wore dark clothing and lacked basic social skills. She would have never wished for him to be any other way.

"When I finally calmed down I was six hundred miles away at a military academy. I realized that I had lost the only person who had ever loved me. I should have been there for you when Tsunade died. I wanted to find a way to contact you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was. After I thought about it some more I decided that it would be best if I just left you alone. Some people are just not equipped to handle love. If you gave me another chance I would only hurt you again. I'm not good enough for you."

This was too much for Sakura to take in. He regretted breaking her heart? He didn't find her because he was trying to protect her?

"I saw you at that wedding before you saw me. I knew I had to make a choice. I thought that it would destroy both of our lives if we were to become involved. That's why I wanted you to stay away from me. I had everything figured out. My life is far from being perfect; I'm still not the man I should be. I'm not capable of being the kind of man you deserve, and most of all, I don't want to be reminded of what I lost. I can handle my life the way it is now. You would just complicate things. You _always_ complicate things. I told myself that you were no one to me and I convinced myself that you were a threat to life I had built for myself."

Sakura hated how Gaara was always deciding things by himself. Couldn't they just have talked about it together and then reach some sort of compromise? It would have saved her a world of hurt.

"And then after that day at your office… I don't even know how it happened. I kept telling myself that you were poison and then the next thing I knew I was buying those plates at that damn benefit and donating all of that money. I didn't want to see you again, but I _had_ to see you again. And then I saw that you have a boyfriend who loves you. He smiled and said all the things that I could never say to you. You two looked so blissful together. I should have been happy that you found someone but instead I was jealous. I had no right to be jealous and I told myself that I had no reason either." She felt him lean in and he spoke directly into her ear, as if he were telling her a secret. "You were dressed like something out of a circus in that sparkly dress with all that makeup on. I don't know why you do that to yourself. I thought you looked fine that night at the wedding. You look fine right now."

Sakura willed herself not to blush. She completely forgot about how she and Sai pretended to be in love that night. Gaara must still be under the impression that they're together. She couldn't believe that he was actually jealous of a nonexistent relationship. He would probably drop dead if she told him about what happened between her and Naruto.

"I panicked when I saw you at the VA. I was just starting to think that the storm was over and that we would never see each other again and then you materialize in front of me. The Lieutenant explained to me that you were just there to see Jiraiya and I felt so guilty for having yelled at you."

He should feel guilty! He gave her appendicitis! If Sakura had known that she was going to run into him then she would have never agreed to go on the tour with the Lieutenant. She had never intentionally run into him. She had not once sought him out.

"I don't know what I'm going to do now. I don't have the energy to keep playing this game, not after seeing you like this. I don't want to cause you any more pain. You don't even want to have anything to do with me. You have a life and a boyfriend and I'm just a bad memory to you. _I'm_ the one who keeps barging in on you and accusing you of things. _I'm_ the one with the lingering feelings. _I'm_ the one who's obsessed with you. I keep acting like you're the one with the problem when really it's me. I lost you ten years ago and I don't think I've ever gotten over that."

Sakura didn't know what to think. Her mind was blank. All she could do was listen to the sound of him breathing and wait for him to speak again. How was she supposed to go back to her normal life after hearing all this?

"I don't want to burden you any more than I already have. I'm going to marry Eriena and stay far away from you. You can have the VA if you want. I'll find somewhere else to go. I've given up on the idea that I could ever forget you so I'll just pretend that what happened between us was a dream. I won't get in the way of your happiness."

She could have sworn she smelled chocolate and cigarettes and then she felt his warm breath tickle her face. He gently kissed her forehead.

"Goodbye, Sakura. If you were awake I would promise you that this time I mean it. We will never see each other again."

She heard footsteps again and then the sound of the door shutting.

At least this time he had said goodbye. Maybe she had finally found the closure she had been looking for. Maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. This was finally the end for them.

Sakura put her face in her hand and let out the floodgate of tears she had been holding back. The more she tried to fight it the more her body was being wracked by sobbing. Every cell in her body hurt. The pain in her gut was nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

Why did she feel this way? Gaara Sabaku was ancient history. A series of bad encounters over the last couple of months didn't amount to anything. He said it himself that she had her own life now and didn't want for him to be apart of it. He was just some asshole-

No, he wasn't an asshole anymore. He wasn't a nice man, but he was still a man. He had feelings and desires. He had feelings and desires for her. He _loved_ her. He had no reason to lie about it now. He didn't even think she was awake to hear him say it. How on earth did he love her? Why did he love her? He sure did have a funny way of showing it. He had been so cruel to her. He had been a violent earthquake and she was still feeling the aftershock.

But it was starting to make sense now. Everything he had done, everything he was doing, was so classically Gaara. The complete and total inability to convey his feelings, the self-denial, and the stubbornness, it was all so _Gaara_. Nothing he said should have surprised her at this point.

But it did. She was always left grasping to understand his reasoning and now that she had a little insight she was blown away. It was the very opposite of what she had been expecting. Gaara didn't hate her at all. Gaara didn't want to hurt her. Gaara didn't want her to suffer. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to protect himself.

What did Sakura want? Did this confession even matter? No matter what she said or did he had already made up his mind. He didn't want to see her again. He thought that they should stay apart. He loved her but he didn't want to be in her life and he didn't want her to be in his life either. He was going to marry the Ice Queen and pretend that Sakura didn't exist.

She took a labored breath. She had to stop crying. She didn't need to put more stress on her body. She had just gotten out of surgery!

She took it all back. Gaara _was_ and asshole. Sakura wiped her tears away. This had gotten past the point of ridiculous. She didn't have to make excuses for him anymore. Who the hell did he think was dumping that on her? That bastard was pining for her but it never occurred to him to get over himself and pick up a telephone and call her? Why the hell was he so twisted? When you love someone you don't tell her she's pathetic and you don't call her a 'stupid bitch' or a 'loudmouthed whore'. Gaara Sabaku was not just a sixteen-year-old boy living in a dark basement; he was a grown adult who also happened to be a best selling author. It was impossible that by now he hadn't figured out how to act when you love someone. He was getting married! Sakura would bet that he didn't treat the Ice Queen like that. She remembered the way he held her and danced with her. He wasn't afraid to touch _her_. He wasn't unkind to _her_. Maybe Gaara had just confused love and hate. He did have the emotional capacity of a dung beetle.

Enough. He didn't dump anything on her because he didn't even know she was listening. He would probably be horrified if he knew that she had heard his every last word. She was going to have to pretend that it never happened, that she didn't know that he still loved her. It didn't matter to him and it didn't matter to her.

Sakura tried to go back to the warm and dark place. She tried to push Gaara Sabaku out of her mind. He had said goodbye and now it was her turn. This was the end.

Sakura Haruno would never think about Gaara Sabaku again.

* * *

The end.

**JUST KIDDING! You guys would so kill me if that were the end. **

**I researched appendectomies on the internet but seeing is how I've never had one, I'm sure I didn't give a very accurate portrayal of one. I have a feeling there is a lot more pain involved post op but I needed her to be lucid for Gaara's confession. Speaking of which ...**

**I think that might have been the moment some of you were waiting for... or dreading. A little anti climatic but hey, you've got some answers now. Gaara doesn't seem so evil anymore hopefully... or dreadfully if you're into bastards. Sakura is certainly confused. **

**I feel like I have more to say but I'm too tired to think about it. **

**THanks of course for the reviews. I'm continually in awe of how much support I receive. Really, it's why I try to update so fast. Speaking of which... now that I don't have classes to write during I don't know how often the updates will come. I'll try not to starve you all. **

**Let me know what you think. **


	9. Chapter 9

**With out further further ado...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Sakura Haruno could not stop thinking about Gaara Sabaku.

"You seem distracted," said Dr. Soto. "Is there something else we should be discussing? Not that I don't find microscope maintenance fascinating, but I get the feeling that you're stalling."

Sakura fidgeted, "I'm worried about a friend."

"Something's up with Ino?" The doctor suggested.

"Yes, Ino," said Sakura nodding slowly. "Ino has a man problem, a serious man problem," she swallowed. "It's causing her some distress, so I wish there was something I could say to make her feel better."

"Perhaps I can help," Dr. Soto leaned in, "this is actually my specialty."

Sakura forced a smile. She might as well consult a professional. "Yes, well… Ino is trying to understand how it's possible for a man to hold on to a love for a girl he hasn't seen in ten years."

"I suppose it depends on the man. What are some of his personality traits and characteristics?"

"He doesn't have very good social skills. He can be aloof. He's insecure and that sometimes turns into aggression. He has little self-control. He prefers his solitude. He's dark, stubborn, shy, moody, pessimistic, sarcastic, sullen, reckless, violent, irritable, rude and insensitive. But he's brilliant. He's sweet and caring. He's brave, thoughtful, creative, generous, and selfless. He has this… understated kindness… It's unexpected and unpredictable," Sakura bit her lip. "He's very handsome too."

Dr. Soto cleared her throat. "It sounds like you know him very well."

Sakura suddenly felt cold. "Not really," she replied quickly. "I don't really know him at all." Gaara Sabaku was impossible to know.

But the Ice Queen knew him. Gaara was going to marry her. She must have known him well. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

"I think I've begun to paint a picture of him," said Dr. Soto. She put her hand on her chin. "Does he have any history of mental illness?"

"Yes," Sakura took a deep breath. "When he was younger one doctor diagnosed him with conduct disorder, but another doctor ran some tests and disagreed. The new doctor thought that it was more likely that he had a mood disorder than a behavioral disorder."

"His family?"

"His mother died during child birth. And… his father… his sister…" Sakura forced another smile. "Oh you know…"

Dr. Soto stared at her. "No, Sakura I don't know. What about his father and sister?"

"His father was physically abusive and his sister was emotionally abusive." Sakura stared at the ceiling and gave herself a much-needed moment to collect her thoughts. She let out a deep breath. "He would act like it wasn't a big deal and that he didn't care, but I could tell it hurt him a lot. He was lonely. He didn't have any friends. She was the first person who ever cared about him. You know, they didn't always get along. They fought like cats and dogs. But he was there when she needed him and it made her realize how much she wanted to be a part of his life. They didn't fall in love right away. He was hot and cold. There was a lot of back peddling involved. But every so often there was this moment… it was like a harmony almost."

There was a moment of silence and Dr. Soto smiled thoughtfully. "That sounds really nice, Sakura. But you said before that things ended badly?"

Sakura leaned back and sighed. "Yeah, it did. He totally went off the deep end. He stopped taking his medicine and he turned into a different person. He broke up with her and said the most awful things. She didn't believe him. She knew eventually that it was just the mania talking. But she was so blinded by pain that she didn't figure out that he was lying until they had already shipped him off to military school. She didn't even get to say goodbye to him."

Gaara's speech had confirmed what Sakura had long suspected, and that was that he hadn't been completely honest with her that day when things ended between them. But even if they were lies, it nearly killed her to hear him say them. The fact that he was an idiot without people skills didn't change that fact that what he did (and kept doing) was cruel. She wasn't going to forgive him so easily.

He said that he stopped taking his medicine so he could be better for her. Why would he do that?" asked Sakura.

"Well it might have something to do with the side effects his medicine. I know for a teenage boy, the sexual side effects might have been problematic."

"Oh," said Sakura quietly. It was because he wanted to have sex with her. He risked everything for the sake of sex. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She should have made the connection before. "She never really stopped to consider that the side effects were the reason he went off his meds. He never told her how it felt to be on them."

Dr. Soto nodded. "Okay, I see where this is going. Let's sum it all up. We have a boy with psychological and emotional problems. He's abused by the people who are supposed to love him so he doesn't really know what love is because he has never experienced it. His first healthy human relationship is with a girl. He struggles with his feelings for her until he eventually realizes that he loves her and she loves him. He makes a mistake and loses the first person that he has ever loved and the first person to ever love him. Maybe she's the only person who he has shared a love with."

"Oh," said Sakura softly. "I think I can see it now too."

"If you had loved only one person in your life would you ever stop loving them?" asked Dr. Soto.

Sakura never thought about how lucky she was to have so many people in her life that loved her. She was able to get over him because she had support from her friends and family. Even thought she had left Konoha she could still feel their love for her. Even her mother loved her. When she let it slip what had happened between them her mother bought a gallon of chocolate ice cream and rented _Legally Blond_. Guys get over break ups by having sex with hot girls. Sakura doubted that he found many of those at military school.

"He's getting married though," said Sakura. "He loves someone new now."

"There's no law that says you have to love just one person at a time. But the important thing is that he's moved on. We should be happy for him. If he had truly wanted to have a relationship with… Ino, then he would have pursued her. He might not stop loving her but that doesn't mean he loves his fiancé any less. For whatever his reasons are, he made a choice. Ino should try to find someone new too. She shouldn't let some blast from the past distract her from her own life."

Every once in a while Dr. Soto said something that held weight. She was one hundred percent right. Gaara chose the Ice Queen, end of story. It would be in Sakura's best interest to just forget about the confession. It was obviously not meant for her to hear. Just like they were obviously not mean to be together. It was something she had known all along. Part of her had known it the first time she kissed him. It was always just going to be unrequited love. She accepted it once she could accept it again. Nothing had changed between them.

"Don't worry," Sakura assured Dr. Soto. "Ino is all about living in the present. She's got plenty to keep her busy."

* * *

"You're imagining her naked aren't you?"

Jiraiya sighed. "If I say yes you're going to punch me aren't you?"

Sakura lifted her fist. "She's a waitress and she's working hard. She deserves some respect. So yeah, if you hit on her I'll make sure that you won't have any teeth left to chew your food."

Sakura had waited her fair share of tables back when she lived with her mother. The thing she hated the most was when patrons somehow got the idea that the waitress was on the menu. If she brought a pervert to a place where young women wore uniforms she was going to have to be responsible for keeping him in line. Just because Jiraiya was old, didn't mean that he was mature.

"You're just like Tsunade, minus a few cups of course," said Jiraiya. "She never let me have any fun either. I remember one summer we went to Vegas and she spent the entire week, and a small fortune, drinking and gambling. I on the other hand spent most of the trip in a body cast because she beat me up when she found out that I had gone to a brothel. It was worth it though because there was this girl with these- "

"So tell me more about Orochimaru." Sakura interrupted, quickly changing the subject.

Jiraiya leaned back and sighed. "They were competitive all throughout medical school. Orochimaru was stronger in theory and Tsunade in practice. That's probably the reason why Orochimaru became involved in research and Tsunade went on to work in a hospital. After Dan died Tsunade was a mess. Orochimaru tried to use that to his advantage. He tried to convince her to work with his laboratory. Tsunade was the kind of genius he needed."

"And Tsunade told him to fuck himself," guessed Sakura.

"Exactly," replied Jiraiya. "There was no way she was going to get involved with that mad scientist."

"What exactly is Orochimaru after? What is the purpose of all of his research?"

"He's obsessed with immortality." Jiraiya reached over and plucked a roll from the breadbasket on the middle of the table. "He wants to live forever. He's spent billions of dollars searching for ways to prolong his life." He tore the roll in half and stuffed a piece in his mouth.

"Tsunade told me once that it's not that people want to live forever it's that they're afraid to die." Sakura stared into her water glass. "I think even after the death of her brother and my grandfather she would have known better than to get involved in something like that."

So Orochimaru was legitimately a crazy person. It didn't surprise Sakura in the slightest. She had heard rumors that some of the experiments he did involved infants and the elderly and were less than ethical in nature. She knew that there had to have been some deeper reason as to why he apparently disliked her so much. She had no idea that he and Tsunade were former colleagues. She started to wonder if it was really a coincidence that she ended up working at the same laboratory as he did. Did he have something at stake in the drug trial?

Jiraiya crossed his arms. "Tsunade was smart. No matter what her state of mind may have been she would have never teamed up with someone like Orochimaru. I think she'd want me to tell you to be careful of him too."

"I've got patients." Sakura gritted her teeth. "If Orochimaru wants to exploit them he'll have to go through me first. The same goes for Kabuto. If that piece of trash messes with me I'll throw him through a window."

"Even if you don't have her voluptuous body, you're still a lot like Tsunade. I think she would be very proud of you."

Sakura smiled. "I'd like to think so too."

* * *

Sakura was a mess. Her hair was wild and her clothes were soaked with sweat. She couldn't even begin to imagine how rancid she must smell. Her chest tingled with every breath she took, and her muscles were looses like jump ropes. Sakura Haruno had no idea why the cruel science gods would possess her to buy a gym membership.

After her surgery she realized how out of shape she really was. Now that he diet consisted of more than just coffee and mint gum, she had steadily begun to put on inches to her waist line. She wasn't fat, she was just squishier and her clothes felt a little tighter. The silver lining was that she had gone up a cup size too. Even if Jiraiya failed to notice, she was now the proud owner of B cups.

Women living alone in the city needed to be tough enough to protect themselves. Sakura had always been freakishly strong, but she needed to do her best to refine this strength to make sure she wouldn't go down in a fight. Cardio kickboxing was an excellent way to do just that. There was a whole array of machines that were now at her disposal. Now the people in her building could refer to her as 'that attractive scientist with the nice ass'. Sakura could get used to that title.

Exercise also awarded her an amount of clarity. All those impenetrable thoughts about science and redheads swirling in her mind seemed so much simpler when she was running on the treadmill. In her youth, Sakura liked to classify her thoughts in the realms of good and bad.

Good was exercise and ice cream sandwiches. Good was getting to he lab early and finishing paperwork. Good was sneaking gifts to Naomi and eating lunch with Ino. Good was when the bus wasn't too crowded or the weather was nice enough to allow her to walk home. Good was doing community service and buying new shoes. Good was getting admiring looks from attractive strangers and postcards from Jiraiya and Naruto.

Bad was cancer and children dying. Bad was computer crashes and waiting for the bus in the rain. Bad was getting stuck working with Kabuto and lectured by Orochimaru. Bad was double dating with Ino and getting food poisoning. Bad were French fries and skirts that wont zip-up. Bad was any and all thoughts concerning Gaara Sabaku.

Sakura poured herself a nice tall glass of orange juice and leaned against the kitchen counter.

The first part of her drug trail was ending. Soon she would be getting fifty new patients. Sakura took a sip of juice and thought about how relieved and devastated she was to be halfway through with the study. Naomi's cancer was in remission and her condition had improved remarkably. Sakura could finally breath easily again when she saw that the treatment had been effective and her patients would not have to suffer any longer. But then there were the patients, the children who had not been able to win the battle. It just wasn't fair.

Who decided these things after all? Why did people like Tsunade have to die when people like Orochimaru lived so long? Whose idea was it to put someone as slimy as Kabuto in charge of human life?

Sakura's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door.

She had no idea who would be calling. She wasn't expecting anyone. Ino had gone away fro the weekend and no one at the lab knew where she lived. Even if was something work related, Sakura was completely reachable by email and everyone had her phone number. The last time someone had knocked on her door it was someone who had mistaken the floor number. She just didn't get visitors.

Sakura put her glass on the counter and stretched her arms above her head. She really did reek. She hoped whoever it was who was at her door wouldn't mind a little body odor.

In the years to come she would look back on that moment and think about how differently here life would have ended up if she had had the sense to look through the peephole. But she didn't. She carelessly unlocked the door and pulled it open. Life had somehow brought her face to face with none other than the Ice Queen.

The Ice Queen was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman Sakura had ever met, even with that haughty look of distain on her face. She was the brand of beautiful that men wrote sonnets about. It didn't help that her wardrobe was fresh off the runway and she didn't smell like a hippopotamus.

Sakura was speechless, but the Ice Queen was not.

"We need to talk," she said in a contemptuous tone.

Sakura got over the shock of finding the epitome of bitchiness on her doorstep and remembered that there was nothing Gaara's future fiancé could possibly have to say to her that might interest her, and she told her just that.

The Ice Queen rolled her eyes. "I came here out of the goodness of my heart to tell you something that you pray every night to hear. So either you can let me in or spend the rest of your life wondering about why someone like _me_ would possible seek out someone like _you_."

Sakura stepped aside. "I reserve the right to throw you out on your Gucci covered ass."

The Ice Queen ignored her and strolled right though the door. "I have bathrooms bigger than this hole in the wall."

"Well I have no doubt that you spend a substantial amount of time kneeling in front of a toilet with a toothbrush down your throat." Sakura cleared the newspaper off the kitchen table and motioned for the Ice Queen to sit down.

Sakura didn't know what evil mission this woman was sent on. Gaara had probably changed his mind yet again and decided that he wanted her dead.

The Ice Queen reached into her leather purse and Sakura half expected her to pull out a gun. She didn't of course; it was only a towel, which she used to wipe off her chair before she sat down. Sakura resisted the urge to slap her.

"Let me guess," said Sakura sarcastically. "You're looking to hire a maid?"

The Ice Queen snorted. "You only wish you could get a job working for the Hara family. We would never have you on staff. Trash like you tends to have sticky fingers."

"What. Do. You. Want?" Sakura asked with her jaw clenched. She didn't let this awful woman into her house to be insulted.

The Ice Queen crossed her arms and smirked. "Gaara and I are not getting married."

Sakura felt like she had been punched in the gut. Gaara wasn't going to marry the Ice Queen. Gaara wasn't going to get married. The man who loved Sakura was single. Gaara…

Sakura tried to remain unaffected. "Why would that concern me?"

"Oh please," the Ice Queen flipped her hair. "I knew who you were the moment I first has the displeasure of laying eyes on you. He keeps a picture of you in his trunk with his military gear."

This time Sakura did nothing to veil her emotion. "He has _what_?" It wasn't possible. There was no way he would keep a picture of her. This was too ridiculous. It was bad enough that he said he loved her but it was even worse that he acted like he really loved her.

The Ice Queen examined her manicure. "I didn't think it was a big deal until he pretended not to know who you were. That made me suspicious. It was obvious that he recognized you. He couldn't keep still for the entire night and he wasn't even paying attention to where he was walking. He knocked over three bridesmaids."

So the Ice Queen had known the entire time. That was why she had gone out of her way to embarrass and insult Sakura. She had been baiting both Sakura and Gaara.

The Ice Queen sighed. "So naturally you spurred my curiosity. I asked myself who was this pink haired rat that had Mr. Indifferent all worked up? I used my excellent powers of deduction to determine that you were from that dumpy little town. I called Temari to get some answers."

"You know Temari?" asked Sakura. Was there really an evil bitch club out there?

"She's the one who introduced us. The Senator was having a fundraiser, which I attended on behalf of my family. I met Temari, who really is a lovely girl. She told me that her brother had written a book and was in need of an editor. When I saw how attractive Gaara was I thought that I'd humor myself and him by reading the manuscript." The Ice queen smiled thoughtfully. "But it was _good_. It was excellent. I knew that if I found the right publisher I could make us both a lot of money."

So Gaara kept in contact with his family. That was an interesting bit of information.

"But I digress…" said the Ice Queen. "Temari told me that you and Gaara had a relationship that ended badly. You were the reason why he was sent to military school. Gaara is a complete moron when it comes to appropriate human behavior so I figured that he just didn't know how to handled seeing and ex-girlfriend. But then he dragged me to that charity ball- and just to be clear, I'm the one who usually does the dragging. Most people don't spend thousands of dollars to impress their exes."

Sakura stared dumbly at her reflection in the glass table. "I can't even imagine what he was thinking. It's illogical even for him."

"Gaara has a brain defect." The Ice Queen reached for her purse. She rummaged around for a while until finally she pulled out a bag of celery. She took a piece out of the bag and put it in between her lips.

"What the…" started Sakura.

"Smoking is bad for you, but celery is a negative calorie food." The Ice Queen gestured to Sakura. "I mean look at how skinny you are. I bet you exercise even more than I do, and I spend four hours daily with my personal trainer."

Sakura forced a laugh. "I usually don't work out for more than two hours a day."

The Ice Queen looked interested. "Are you serious?" she asked. "What's your secret? Coke?"

"Um, no." Sakura scratched her head. "I don't know. I just usually stick to the food pyramid."

The Ice Queen took a bite off of the end of her celery stick. "Well, fuck you, pinky." She gave Sakura the once over. "You have the body of a thirteen year old boy."

Sakura was growing irritated with this nonsense. "Will you just say what you came here to say?"

"Gaara freaked out after that ball. He dropped me off at my pent house and he proposed to me. I thought he was joking. But, you know, Gaara doesn't joke."

Sakura put her hands up. "Slow down. You're not suggesting that he proposed to you because of me, are you?"

"Why else would he have? Because we're in love?" The Ice Queen broke the celery stick in two. "Let me fill you in on how our relationship works. I needed someone who looked good and didn't speak, and he needed someone to edit his work and take care of the publishing and human relations aspect of authoring books. Neither of us was looking to become emotionally involved."

"So you're saying you don't love him?"

"I thought you two dated? You should know how impossible it is to love a person like him."

No, it had been the opposite. It had been much too easy to fall in love with Gaara Sabaku. "He's a little rough around the edges but he has a good heart."

"Love and Gaara don't belong in the same sentence." The Ice Queen stuffed the rest of her celery into her mouth.

"So he doesn't love you either?" Sakura couldn't believe how intensely she wanted the answer to be no.

The Ice Queen finished chewing. "Gaara cares more about his stupid notebooks then he cares about me. And he has never looked at me the way he looks at you."

Sakura shook her head. "What does any of this have to do with me?"

The Ice Queen wiped her mouth with a napkin."I'm not going to marry a man who inevitably going to make an idiot out of me my fraternizing with someone in such a low social class. He's not going to be able to stay away from you. You should see the look he gets on his face whenever I mention anything remotely related to you. It's uncanny."

Sakura couldn't believe what she was hearing. It had to be some sort of bizarre dream. "I still don't understand."

"Look. My arrangement with Gaara won't work anymore. He hasn't written anything in months and if he ever does he'll have no problem finding a new editor. Plus he's like … lethargic… and can't even pretend to be pleasant. And like your cute artist friend said, he's a one hit wonder. I need a new boyfriend who is popular. I'm thinking about that actor from that new medical drama. You know, the one with the hair?"

"Sure," Sakura lied. She felt like her head was about to explode. "I'm more of a fan of the one with the nose."

The Ice Queen looked surprised. "You know I would have never pegged you for a Dr. Renoir fan." She waved her hand dismissively. "Anyways, I've decided that Gaara isn't who I really want for my first husband. We hardly ever have sex and he has no fashion sense. He always wants to wear black. Black is not appropriate to wear during daylight hours in the summer. God, and he doesn't work out as much as he used to. He's getting to be skinny. And I think the last straw was when he came to dinner smelling like cigarette smoke. That is just not acceptable."

It was laughable. The Ice Queen had just made a list of all the little things that Sakura had found the most endearing about him. She wondered how the Ice Queen would have reacted if Gaara had lost it and attacked a couple of business men in the gym locker room and then gotten himself arrested for possession.

Sakura sighed. "That's just who he is."

The Ice Queen rubbed her temples. "I've never understood him. He disappears for days at a time. He almost never invites me over to his apartment. He never talks about himself or his past. Not that I mind, it's actually a lot easier for me this way. It just makes me curious. Who the hell is this guy? Temari won't talk about it. And then who the hell are you? You're under his skin like a mite."

Sakura wasn't sure what to say. "I don't even know how this happened. I haven't heard from him in ten years. And yes, seeing him was kind of a shock to my system, but if he had handled it like a sane person everything would be back to normal."

The Ice Queen straightened up. "Well I'm not going to marry someone who doesn't want to marry me. It won't make for a good wedding album."

Sakura couldn't figure out what the Ice Queen was trying to do. "But why are you telling me all of this?" She snorted. What, am I supposed to go after him or something? She asked sarcastically.

The Ice Queen raised an eyebrow. "Um yes… I thought that was a given."

Sakura gawked at her. "You _cannot_ be serious."

"Why not?"

Sakura laughed bitterly. "Gaara doesn't want me. I don't really know if I want him. We're not supposed to be together."

"_You _cannot be serious. You wrecked our relationship and you're not even going to claim you prize?"

Sakura didn't think the Ice Queen could have any idea what she was talking about. "You had an 'arrangement' not a relationship."

"You know, just because I don't think it's feasible to love Gaara doesn't mean I don't think you should try. He cares about you. He's a weirdo. I'm not going to debate that. But he's smart, and strong, and handsome. There are superficial reasons why I can't be with him but I get the idea that those things don't matter much to you. You haven't given me a valid reason for why you can't be together. So what's the problem?"

Sakura couldn't find the right words to speak. "It's complicated…"

"Weak!" The Ice Queen banged her fist on the table. "That's something a weak willed person would say. Strong twenty-first century women go after what they want."

"But he doesn't want anything to do with me!" cried Sakura.

"Did he say that?"

"Yes!"

"Well then he's in denial!"

Sakura abruptly stood up. "No. This is denial. I'm denial. You're denial. There is denial everywhere. Gaara and I aren't mean to be together."

"You're stuck on repeat, Pinky," said the Ice Queen. "Just because you say it over and over again won't make it the truth."

This was complete and utter nonsense. The Ice Queen was telling Sakura to go after Gaara? The Ice Queen was giving her permission to steal her fiancé. Gaara obviously didn't want Sakura but the Ice Queen was telling her to go after him anyways. This had to be some sort of trick.

Sakura pointed to the door. "Out," she ordered. "Get out of my apartment."

"My, my, we're getting hostile now. You know he wants you, and you know you want him. You shouldn't have waited for me to tell you that our relationship was a sham. It shouldn't have mattered."

"You're insane," said Sakura. "Get out of my apartment," she repeated. "I don't want to hear any more of your bull shit. Just marry Gaara and stay the hell out of my life."

The Ice Queen rose to her feet. "When you come to your senses remember this, Gaara eats breakfast every morning at the _Nectarine Café _down by the harbor. He'll probably put up a little bit of a resistance, but I'm sure you can win him over in the end."

Sakura rubbed her face with her two hands. She was going to pretend she didn't hear that. There was no way she was going to seek out Gaara Sabaku and beg him to date her. "Just leave me alone," she pleaded. No good could come from entertaining these thoughts. She wasn't going to give Gaara Sabaku another chance to pulverize her heart.

"You're probably the closest Gaara will ever come to love," said the Ice Queen softly. "Don't let him down."

When Sakura finally opened her eyes she was alone in the apartment. The Ice Queen was gone but she had left her silly ideas behind to haunt Sakura.

It couldn't be real. Every time she let go of him life just kept throwing him back at her. The universe was taunting her. Dr. Soto's ideas about moving on were becoming hollow now. If Gaara wasn't moving on did that mean Sakura didn't have to move on anymore either? Just because he wasn't marrying the Ice Queen didn't mean he wanted to have a relationship with Sakura.

But, on the slight chance that _did_ want to be with Sakura there were a lot of things that had to be considered first. He seemed to be under the delusion that his actions always resulted in causing pain for Sakura. While this had become an unpleasant trend in their encounters, it was certainly not always the case. Sakura had distinctly good memories of their time together. Memories that made her smile stupidly to herself.

Maybe she should just let him know that the idea didn't scare or repulse her. She wasn't going to go as far as to say she liked the idea or that she liked him, but rather that she wouldn't object to giving it a test drive. She could always just walk away.

So she was just going to wake up and do it. Just wake up and take the bus down to the harbor. It was going to be easy. She did it once and she can do it again.

She would ask Gaara out on a date and he would say yes.

* * *

**I addressed one of my pet peeves in this chapter. It really, really, really annoys me when authors make the hero's new girlfriend or the heroine's competition this evil one sided obsessive bimbo. I have yet to meet this kind of woman and I think it perpetuates sexism to write about this type of woman. And frankly, from my experience as a reader, it's not interesting to hear about this type of character either. I tried to give Sakura's mom a little bit of depth too here and there. **

**I had this going in a completely different direction up until when I rewrote it this morning. I got done with it and just felt like it was awful and needed to be lighter. I'm in a good mood so the writing is more lighthearted than I expected it would be. It's a little rushed, but I hope you enjoyed it!**

**THANKS THANK THANKS THANKS to all who have reviewed. I'm am continuously blown away by how much support this story gets. Its all dedicated to the people who review. **

**So an additional thanks to those who were waiting (im)patiently. I'm finally done with my busy-ness so hopefully no more long waits. **

**LEAVE A REVIEW ? and let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

He looked handsome. No, handsome was an understatement.

It was a peculiar picture to see a grown man swinging his legs over the edge of a pier with a plate of pancakes in his lap. His hair was sleep tousled. It was clear that he hadn't seen a brush in months. But it made him look younger, sweeter almost. The pencil tucked behind his ear and the notebook resting beside him was not an unfamiliar sight, but it did reawaken those old butterflies. It was rare to catch his features set so peacefully and his posture so relaxed.

Sakura felt like she had gotten off the bus to her very first day of kindergarten. She was going to have to throw up her corn flakes before she could muster up the courage to even walk by him. How the did she do it ten years ago? She just walked into his room and declared that she wanted to date him. What was it that awarded her such confidence? She had a bad feeling about this. She was letting her emotions cloud her judgment. She had a bad feeling about this but all she could think about was how it might feel to have her skin against his.

Sakura groaned inwardly. It just had to be Gaara Sabaku didn't it? She seriously doubted whether or not she would feel this miserable if Sasuke reentered her life. She had been in love with Sasuke for years but she had been violently in love with Gaara for just a few months, and that was really all it took. Gaara, violence, and love. Somehow the three concepts were written together in stone.

Sakura was so lost in thought that she almost didn't notice that the object of her wonderment was staring right at her. She woke up just in time to watch the plate slide off his lap and into the water. She hesitantly raised her hand.

He did not return the gesture.

Well shit.

But, Sakura was not a girl who was easily deterred. Either that or she was just plain stupid. If Gaara didn't look thrilled to see her it was probably because she wasn't exactly thrilled to be there. If she wanted to drown herself in dating mishap she could just visit a bar or let Ino set her up with another disappointment. There was a very real possibility that she had somewhere along the line lost her mind, and there was no real reason why she should go through the pain of trying to wrangle herself a Gaara Sabaku.

Before she could make any more progress talking herself out of it, Sakura began walking towards the redhead. The closer she got to him the more she relinquished her hold on the notion of his romantic visage. He wasn't sleepy and cute like a baby panda anymore. Now he was over six feet of glaring and disgruntled man.

"I won't believe you if you try to say this is another coincidence," he said when she finally sat down next him. His lips were pursed in a thin dour line.

"The Ice-" Sakura cleared her throat and tried to get a grip on the situation. "Eriena visited me at my apartment," she explained.

"So?" he asked with a curious amount of hostility.

Sakura's mouth felt dry. This was certainly not going as she had planned. "Eriena told me that the two of you were breaking up."

"Let me guess," he said acidly. "You think that this is your opportunity to try and sink your claws into me."

Sakura's cheeks began to grow warm. He was not acting like a man in love. He was acting like a bastard. He _was_ a bastard. Why did she ever try to convince herself otherwise? Sink her claws into him? _Sink her claws into him?_ Did those words really just come out of his mouth? He really had some nerve treating her like that. She should have expected this kind of disappointment from him.

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her two fingers. Sakura Haruno was _not_ about to cry.

"Just because I'm not marrying Eriena," he continued. "Doesn't mean I want to have anything to do with you. I don't know why you can't understand that. I'm starting to feel sorry for you. You just can't take a hint even when I spell it out for you. Are you really that desperate?"

Sakura felt herself begin to panic. Was it possible that she imagined his confession? She had just woken up from surgery and they had given her painkillers. For all she knew Gaara stepped over her lifeless body and a janitor brought her to the hospital. The voice she heard talking to her was just the heart monitor doing its job. She wanted Gaara Sabaku to love her so she deluded herself into believing that he had told her so. She was_ pathetic_.

Sakura forced a smile. "You know what Gaara Sabaku? FUCK YOURSELF."

"Excuse me?" he asked, taken aback.

Yeah, that's right, Gaara Sabaku could go fuck himself. Even if the confession had only happened in her head, her conversation with the Ice Queen had not. The reason the Ice Queen's words had unsettled her was because she could tell that the Ice Queen wasn't lying. So that meant that Gaara was purposefully hurting her. Again. Enough was enough.

"_Are you really that desperate_?" she mimicked. "Are you kidding me?"

"I don't-"

"Look at me! I'm twenty-seven years old and I have everything I could ever want." She laughed. "Do you know what men put themselves through for a shot at getting me in bed." That was a little bit of an exaggeration, but Gaara would never know. "I'm one of the smartest people I've ever met. I'm _brilliant_ and I'm hardworking. I'm compassionate and my patients love me for it. Nothing has changed in the last ten years. I'm still the homecoming queen and you're still the troll living under the draw bridge."

"I'm the _what_?" Gaara's eyes were blazing.

It was time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"I was with you because it was ironic. I was the most beloved person in Konoha and you were the most hated. I didn't even like you. It was just a social experiment. I knew I could mold and manipulate you into anything I wanted. You were such a sad and scared little puppy. Your father beat you and your sister hated you and _you_ were desperate. You did love me. You were madly in love with me. But you were too stupid and too incompetent to know what to do with your love. The fun part was that I had _made_ you love me. I knew all your weaknesses and I exploited them. I knew that if I said _this _and did _that_ I could make you fall for me. It was _easy_." Sakura smirked. "I tricked you into loving me."

Gaara took the notebook off the ground next to him and hurled it into the sea. He was shaking with anger. "I love you because I _wanted_ to love you," he shouted. "It wasn't a game to either of us."

Sakura tried not to act smug." So your biggest regret in life wasn't kissing me that night in my room and feeling sorry enough for me to let me follow you around for a couple of months, and I'm not pathetic to have fallen in love with you and delusional to think that there was ever anything between us."

Gaara's face paled. It seemed that he recognized his words from that day on the boat being thrown back at him. He turned away from her and stared into the grey waters. "I don't know!" He took the pencil out from behind his ear and tossed it into the sea too.

Sakura took a moment to assess the consequences of her next move. "I know that you're confused." She hesitantly reached out to cover his hand with her own. She was terrified he was going to react violently like the last time she tried to touch him. Instead he lifted his hand and met hers halfway and then slipped his fingers in between hers. Sakura heart skipped a beat. His skin was calloused but his hand was warm.

She swallowed. "I know that you're the same as you were back then too. You're still a genius with a notebook. You try to hide it, but you're still full of compassion. I'm willing to bet that you're still brave and still strong."

Gaara put his free hand over his eyes and took a deep breath. "You have no idea what it's like to have these feelings. I've had theses feelings for _ten years_. You're the only girl I've thought about for _ten years_. And then to have to see you again? It just reinforced what I already know and that's that we don't have a future together."

Sakura scooted closer to him. "Why would you think that? It's obvious that you want to want to be with me but it's obvious that you don't want to try." Sakura paused for a moment, she wasn't sure if she could really say it. "I want to try again with you."

He immediately snatched his hand away as if she had somehow burned him. "No! No. No. No." He stood up. "We're through here. You need to go home Sakura."

"Gaara." Sakura quickly rose to her feet. "Gaara don't do this," she pleaded. "I want to try again with you!"

But Gaara was already fleeing the scene. How surprising.

So she chased after him.

"Wait!" she called to him. "Just talk to me about this. Stop running away from me."

Gaara wheeled back around. "You don't understand. I don't deserve you."

"I don't care," Sakura said, catching back up to him. "_I_ don't deserve to keep getting hurt."

"I'm sorry." He closed his eyes. "I think it would be best if you just left now."

She couldn't believe it had come down to this. "Give me one good reason why I should. Give me a real reason. You're not allowed to tell me you don't want me. You're not allowed to tell me you don't have feelings for me. We'll be happy together."

Gaara took his hand away from his face and revealed his desperate eyes. "I hurt people and because of that I don't deserve to be happy."

He kept repeating himself. Didn't the Ice Queen teach him that saying the same thing over and over again wouldn't make it the truth? If he kept on having to reassure himself it probably meant he wasn't in one hundred percent agreement with it either. It meant that she still had a chance.

Sakura pointed to herself. "_I_ deserve to be happy," she said. "You have more power over my happiness than anymore else on the planet. Just seeing you smile used to keep me happy for days."

Gaara looked anguished. "But you don't know the type of person I've become." He ran a shaking hand through his hair. "You wouldn't be happy if you heard about the things I've done."

It was becoming clear to Sakura that Gaara was ashamed. Something was making him feel unworthy of her love. She didn't know how to dispute that. She had no idea what he might be hiding. Part of her was wary of what that might be. She didn't want to open herself up to him just to have her heart obliterated again when he does something hurtful. Maybe she shouldn't have been so anxious to openly invite him back into her life.

"Look." Sakura took a long breath. "I think I've made it very clear in the past that I'm willing to overlook your problems. I'm going to make it clear now that I am interested in you." She stared up into eyes. "I'm giving you a month to think it over. If you decide that you love me enough to give me a chance then meet me on the thirtieth at _Il Cielo_ on West 32nd street at 8 PM. I'm going to be there and I'm going to wait all night because I have faith that you're going to be there too."

Gaara fervently shook his head. "No, Sakura. No way-"

Sakura put her hand over his mouth. "I'll see you on the thirtieth, Gaara." She bit her lip. "And sorry about your breakfast."

After that she took her hand back and turned around. Sakura walked promptly into the other direction. He didn't stop her and she didn't expect him. All in all though, their meeting wasn't nearly as awful as it could have been. And so for that she would be grateful.

* * *

"Don't worry," said Dr. Haruno. "I'll visit you whenever I get the chance."

Naomi put down the ballerina teddy bear Sakura had given her weeks ago and charged forward to hug Sakura's middle. "I'm going to miss you so much Dr. Haruno."

"Hey, hey." Sakura patted her on the head. "I'm not your doctor anymore."

"I know," said Naomi. She looked up at Sakura with big watery eyes.

Sakura smiled. "I'm not your doctor anymore so you have to start calling me Sakura."

"Really?" Naomi asked excitedly. "I'm not going to get in trouble with Dr. Orochimaru or Dr. Kabuto?

The first part of the trial was officially over, so Sakura was allowed to be as friendly with Naomi as she wanted. There was absolutely nothing Orochimaru or Kabuto could do about it. "Nope. You're not going to get into trouble."

Mrs. Lee came to collect Naomi so Sakura and the young girl wrapped up their tearful goodbye. After they left Sakura began to finish organizing patient charts in the hopes of expediting the process of transferring the materials to her office. The sooner she finished the paperwork for the old trial she could get the new one over with.

"We should go out for drinks to celebrate the end of the trial," said Kabuto, joining Sakura by the counter.

Sakura forced a laughed. "I'm crazy busy this week. Maybe some other time."

There was no way she would make plans to see Kabuto outside of work. If she felt like torturing herself she would make an extra trip to the gym.

"I'll hold you to that." He took one look at the pile of paperwork and sighed. "This whole process is kind of annoying."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, looking up from her stack of folders.

"Well, we spend all this money on these kids, some of which don't even make it past the first couple weeks of treatment. Even if the cancer goes away, it's just in remission. Odds are that most of these kids will get it again and die. I mean, what are your chances of beating cancer twice? Kids like that little girl Naomi won't be eligible for another trial, so there they'll have to find a way to pay for it themselves. It all just seems redundant."

Sakura had been in denial about it for months. Remission. There was no real cure for cancer. Depending on the cancer, after treatment, the patient might live a long and healthy life. But some cancers, especially aggressive ones, remission on lasted for a few years. There was a strong chance that Sakura's children's cancer would return. Sakura wasn't sure she was ready to start another heartbreaking new trial; she couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be a patient fighting cancer again. When she thought about Naomi getting sick again she wanted to throw up. She never even considered that an orphan like her wouldn't even have enough money for treatment.

"Sakura," said Kabuto resignedly. "I thought I warned you about this when we first started. You have to keep your patients spirits up but you can forget your role as the doctor. It's not your job to sympathize for them and it's not your job to cure them. Your job is to complete the trial. You're too emotionally involved. I can see it on your face."

Sakura felt a lump in her throat. "How are you _not_ emotionally involved?"

Kabuto shrugged. "I've been doing this for a while now. I knew what I was getting into when I picked oncology as my specialty. One of the reason's I'm so good at this job is my clarity. People die everyday. Millions of people die everyday. Yes, cancer is terrible, but there are a lot worse ways of dying. You can't count on it, but there is always a minute chance that everything will work out. I'm not really enthusiastic about concepts like hope, but it's a relief to be proven wrong sometimes. Other times you just have to accept it. Children are annoying to have as patients but don't tell yourself that their lives are somehow more important than the life of the elderly. All patients suffer equally. One of my jobs as a doctor and one of your jobs as a researcher is to look at this objectively. "

"I _know_ that," she said stubbornly. "But why does objectivity have to mean insensitivity?"

"One thing has nothing to do with the other. Look at this realistically. There is no magic cure, not presently at least. These patients are going to die. Tell yourself their lives are meaningless because it's their deaths that help us understand the way the disease works. We have to look towards the future."

Why the hell were the men in her life so pessimistic? Gaara was convinced that their relationship was doomed to fail, and Kabuto was convinced that hope was worthless. Would it really kill them to open their hearts to the possibility of love and miracles?

Kabuto was full of shit. Her obligation as a researcher might be to complete trials, but her obligation as a human being was to care about the lives in her hands. Life was meaningful and death was tragic. Looking towards the future didn't mean you had to abandon the present. Besides, why put off for tomorrow what you can accomplish today?

Gaara was full of shit too. The Ice Queen had been right when she said that Gaara had a brain defect. It was the same stupidity that she had to deal with ten years ago when they first went out. Why was he such a coward? He was genuinely afraid of being happy. It was the single most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. He didn't want to be with her because he didn't want to be happy, but at the same time he didn't think the relationship would work. It was a paradox. Gaara was insulated from it because of his lunacy, but Sakura could feel every bruise he left on her. It wasn't fair.

"Oh and by the way," said Kabuto. "Orochimaru wanted to speak with you. He's back in his office at the Lab. It sounded like it was important."

Sakura lifted the pile of folders. "I have to haul these back there anyways. See you later Kabuto."

The whole way back to the Lab Sakura thought about Naomi. She was a good kid who didn't deserve the tragedies that had befallen her.

A few weeks ago Sakura had gotten coffee with Mrs. Lee, the social worker in charge of Naomi's case. She learned that Naomi's parents had died in a car accident when Naomi was three and none of her relatives wanted to take care of her. Since then she had lived in three different foster homes. When she got sick they had to delay her treatment until they found a trial where she could get the medicine for free. Now that she was leaving the hospital she would be going back to a group home where she would be forgotten about and ignored.

Sakura began to seriously think about becoming Naomi's foster mother.

* * *

"Congratulations on completing the first half of your trial, Dr. Haruno," said Orochimaru.

"Thank you, Sir," she replied. "I'm just grateful to have been given the opportunity."

She knew she would have to be careful when dealing with the snake. She didn't forget what Jiraiya had told her about the man.

"I summoned you here to talk about Midostaurin," said Orochimaru.

Sakura shifted in her seat. "Midostaurin is the experimental drug the trial is centered around."

"Wouldn't you agree that you've already gathered a lot of information on its use?" he asked.

"I suppose so." Sakura frowned. "Sir, if I may ask, what is this about?"

"In the next part of the trial I want you to replace Midostaurin with Trixofyline."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "I've never heard of that drug."

"It's new." Orochimaru smiled. "It was recently developed here in this very laboratory."

"I don't understand…"

"It's simple. Instead of giving your patients your drug I want you to give them my drug."

Was he _nuts_? The grant for this trial had been awarded to them and in turn the trial had been entrusted to them. She couldn't just change drugs halfway through the experiment. Somehow Orochimaru was trying to hijack her trial and use it for his own gains. He was playing mad scientist again.

"Dr. Orochimaru, I don't think I can do what you're suggesting. I don't even know what 'Trixofyline' does." Sakura stood up. "I don't think this conversation is very ethical either. I'm not sure that I'm comfortable having it."

"You designed the trial, Dr. Haruno. No one will question you if you decided to change the drug."

He was asking her to do the impossible. She didn't have any research on this foreign drug. She couldn't give a medicine she knew nothing about to unsuspecting children. It would go against everything she believed in. It sounded downright illegal.

Sakura shook her head. "I'm sorry but I can't do that." She backed away from his desk. "I _won't_ do that."

"Even if it costs you your career?" Orochimaru's voice was thick with insinuation.

Sakura didn't even beat an eyelash at his thinly veiled threat. She would not be intimidated. "I would sooner end my career myself before I gave my patients a drug I didn't know the effects of."

"I could give you a report on my current findings," he offered.

"That's not enough." Sakura started to head for the door. "This conversation is over."

"You're going to change your mind," said the snake. "You're going to realize it's _safer_ to do things my way."

Another threat that Sakura would choose to ignore. "Enjoy the rest of your day, Sir," she said. "I'm sorry but I cannot help you."

No, that was a lie. She wasn't sorry at all. She was downright appalled that he would even ask her to do something so unscrupulous, especially after he had given her a lecture on professionalism. It was disgusting. Besides, she had better things to agonize over.

* * *

It took her all afternoon to buy a dress. She had tried on at least thirty of them before she made her decision.

There was repair work being done on the subway route she usually took so Sakura decided to walk home. The sky was dark but the air was warm. On July nights the temperature rarely dipped below seventy degrees. There was no moon and it was too cloudy to see the stars. Sakura looked around and saw that the stores had all closed and there wasn't another soul out on the street. She was alone.

She had her masters and a PhD but not enough sense to hail a cab home.

When she first heard the footsteps behind her she didn't think anything of it. There were eight million people in the city; it was hardly unusual to have company on the sidewalk. When she heard the footsteps drawing nearer she casually look over her shoulder. She was met with the sight of a tall dark hooded figure. Unsettling, but also not an unfamiliar sight in the city.

So Sakura kept walking, her pace slightly quickened.

She tried to distract herself from feeling fearful. She thought about her latest session with Dr. Soto. Dr. Soto had guessed that there was something on Sakura's mind, but Sakura didn't know how to explain the Gaara issue. Instead they talked about Sakura's latest compulsions.

Dr. Soto was worried that Sakura was becoming obsessed with perfection. Sakura was beginning to wake up earlier and earlier to spend more time getting dressed. It took her almost an hour to style her hair and put on makeup. And she still pushed herself to get to the office before everyone else. She left work late and took the bus straight to the gym. She spent exactly two hours working out and not a minute more. Then there was all the time and effort she put forth to cook healthy meals. She only bought certified organic food and counted every calorie she consumed. She didn't end up getting to sleep until after twelve.

Sakura didn't understand what the problem was. Sure, she was beginning to miss sleeping, but it was worth it to be the best. She wanted to be the smartest and healthiest and most attractive person she could be. She wanted Gaara to look at her and realize that there wasn't a better woman out there for him. She wanted to be so fantastic that he would forget all of his reservations and be unable to resist her. She had to make up for whatever his reasons were for not wanting to be with her. When they dated ten years ago he first started to like her when she was still perfect. She had to be perfect again if she wanted him to make a move on her.

Sakura's clenched her fists around the handle of the department store bag. Whoever it was that was behind her was getting closer.

She told herself that it was going to take some effort to get Gaara but it was going to take even more to keep him. She wasn't even sure if she was going to want to keep him. She really had no idea what type of person he might be now. What she had seen of him so far really didn't inspire much confidence. But she couldn't help but believe in him. She couldn't forget the words that he said to her when she was in the hospital. He said that he wanted to kiss her and touch her. Sakura really liked the sound of that. And she couldn't forget what the Ice Queen had said about him. She had made it sound like Gaara was waiting for her. Was Gaara-

Sakura heard something shift behind her and then she felt someone drag her into the alley. Her body slammed against the brick building and she could feel the impact in every bone of her body. It knocked the wind right out of her.

"You're too careless, bitch," growled the voice in her ear.

Sakura started to choke. The man in the hooded sweatshirt pinned her to the wall and pressed a gun to the side of her head. She felt a sickening wave of terror wash over her. There could be only one reason why a man held a woman in an alley at gunpoint. Her heart pounded in her throat and her eyes began to well up with tears.

"This is what you get for being a stupid cunt." He pushed the barrel of the gun into her skin and she felt his free hand rip her skirt and snake in between her thighs. He clawed at her underwear. Sakura tried two free herself.

"Get off of me," she demanded. "Leave me alone!"

He yanked her head back by her hair and banged her head against the wall. The pain was so intense that Sakura wanted to vomit.

"If you don't stand still," he threatened, "I'm going to fuck you with this gun and pull then pull the trigger."

Sakura froze. She couldn't believe what was about to happen to her. She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid. She felt him kick her legs out from under her and shove her to the ground. Sakura's vision was blurry and the world was spinning out of control. He pulled her hair and jerked her head upwards.

"Suck my cock, bitch," he ordered.

How original. Sakura swayed for a moment until her eyes were focused. Her attacker kept the gun pressed to her forehead and with his free hand he began to unbuckle his pants. Sakura realized that tears had begun to pour down her face. Her attacker was laughing. Sakura closed her eyes and wiped her eyes with her shoulder. .

She needed to calm down. She _knew_ that her mouth wasn't going to be anywhere near his penis. Only cowards rape women and only cowards need guns to do it. This man was afraid that Sakura was going to fight back. _He_ was afraid of _her_, and not the other way around. The man's pants fell to the ground. Sakura looked up at her attacker and snickered. The gun shook against her forehead.

"What the hell are you laughing about? Are you such a slut you can't wait to have my cock down your throat?"

Sakura looked up defiantly into her attacker's soulless black eyes. "No, asshole," she smirked. "I'm laughing because you forgot to take the safety off your gun."

"What?" he lifted his gun to inspect it and Sakura used this as her opportunity to punch him in the gut.

"Asshole." Sakura punched him again and this time he dropped the gun and grabbed his stomach.

He groaned. "You bitch!" He reached back down to retrieve the gun but Sakura was closer and faster.

"I don't think so," said Sakura. She snatched the gun off the ground and struck him in the face with it. The man let out an agonized cry and crumpled to the ground. Sakura stood up and kicked him a few times for good measure. He curled up into a ball and Sakura was satisfied to hear him grunt in pain every time her foot made contact with his ribs.

She couldn't believe that he had fallen for the old 'left the safety on' bit. It was the oldest trick in the book. Not that she was complaining or anything. She was breathless and trembling but she wasn't out of danger yet. She realized that she had dropped her purse somewhere out on the street when he had grabbed her. She leaned over and spat on her would be rapist. "Stay here," she told him.

She needed her cell phone to call the police. Sakura ran out of the alley to scour the unlit street for her bags. It occurred to her that her attacker might have a phone she could use, but somehow she didn't think he was going to give it to her. She found that he had thrown her purse and that the contents were scattered about the street. She spotted her cell near the sewer drain and sprinted over to it. She picked it up and with shaking hands she dialed the number for the police.

Her voice was quavering as she spoke to the emergency operator but she was somehow able to stutter out the needed information. Her head was throbbing. She felt as if any moment now she would pass out. Her legs were like spaghetti noodles and she was clutching the gun so tightly that her knuckles were white.

Three police cars and an ambulance arrived within just moments of her phone call. The flashing lights and blaring sirens were making Sakura dizzy so she placed the gun down on the sidewalk and hid her face in her arms. Two officers rushed to her side.

Somehow during Sakura's search for her cell phone her attacker was able to crawl out of the alley and escape into the night. The police searched the surrounding streets and buildings for him but found nothing. They collected samples of the blood he had left behind and took his gun from Sakura.

She couldn't believe that she had let the bastard get away. She _knew_ that she should have given him a few extra kicks. Now he was free in the city to attack more innocent women. The only relief she had was that he was now no longer armed.

An EMT helped her into the back of the ambulance and took her to the hospital where she was treated for a concussion. Luckily, this was the full extent of her injuries.

"That was a gusty move Ms. Haruno," said the EMT who rode with her in the back of the ambulance. "You could have gotten yourself killed."

Sakura rubbed her eyes tiredly. "He really pissed me off. I guess I can be quite violent when I'm angry. I don't play the role of the victim very well."

The EMT laughed. "Well wherever that piece of trash is, I bet he's going to think twice before he goes after another girl."

"I hope the bastard drops dead before he can make it home. I kicked him pretty hard. He has to have some internal bleeding or something like that." She wanted him to rot in hell. She should have just shot him.

"Don't worry," the EMT reassured her. "They have his DNA, if he's in the system they'll find him. A sketch artist is meeting us at the hospital so they can send out a bulletin to the other hospitals in case he seeks treatment."

Sakura had already given up hope on the possibility that the police would catch him. Hundreds of people were attacked each day in the city. There just weren't enough police officers to solve every case. Another good reason why Sakura should have just taken the bastard out. She would have done the city a service.

The EMT patted her on the shoulder. "Don't be so hard on yourself," he said, reading her mind. "The important thing is that you're safe now."

Safe.

_Safe_.

* * *

**So hey there. Pretty crazy chapter huh? I'm sure you're pretty disappointed at the minimal and dismal G+S scene, but patience is a virtue dear readers. Actually, this chapter was pretty unhappy. I used words that I can't say out loud, but felt like those would be rapist words. My plans for the next chapter involve some more intense G+S hopefully. I know everyone is probably anxious to read about the date so I'll get right on it. **

**THANKS REVIEWERS. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I love you guys. HEY other readers don't be intimidated, try reviewing! I loved hearing that people liked reading about the Ice Queen. It always helps to hear what kind of things my readers like and dislike about chapters. **

**I think I'll go post this now. Maybe you'll review right now. **


	11. Chapter 11

**PLEASE don't murder me for this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

She arrived at the restaurant at seven thirty despite that she was perfectly aware that he wasn't going to be on time. Sakura knew the way his brain worked. He was going to be late. She didn't anticipate seeing him until at least ten.

The shopping bag made it through the attack, and to Sakura's relief the police didn't seem to need to confiscate it as evidence. Knowing Gaara as well as she did, Sakura donned an inconspicuous dress and applied little makeup. She forwent jewelry and a fancy hairstyle but chose to wear five-inch heels solely for the sake of empowering herself. Confident women wore such shoes and Sakura needed all the help she could get. Begging a man to go on a date and then having to wait all night for him to show wasn't exactly healthy for a girl's self esteem.

She lied and told the waitress that she was waiting for her boyfriend but his flight had been delayed so she didn't know when he would be coming. To keep herself busy while she waited she people watched. The restaurant was known for being romantic so most of the patrons were couples. One thing that the couples had in common was that they were all in love. She watch gentlemen pull out chairs for ladies and saw lovers holding hands across the table. The atmosphere was warm and Sakura inevitably felt lonely. Every moment that ticked by caused her hopes and prayers to grow more and more desperate. She wanted Gaara because she didn't want to be alone anymore.

She wanted to know him again. She wanted to remember all of his quirks and qualities that made her love him so much. She wanted to see how he had changed, the good ways and the bad ways. She wanted to hear all about how he had spent the last ten years of his life. She wanted to look into his eyes and show him that there was no reason for him to be afraid. But Sakura was fully aware that he was not going to make any of this easy for her.

Still, he was (almost) always there when it counted the most. He was going to show up at the last minute and act like he didn't know how he had gotten there. She almost laughed out loud at the idea that he might bring her flowers. Though she could see him bringing her chocolate. She wondered if she should have brought him something too. Maybe cigarettes? A new notebook? Pills?

The closer she came to forming some sort of legitimate relationship with him the harder it became to ignore the million dollar question: what was the condition of Gaara's mental health?

He seemed _relatively_ stable. She would hardly call what she had witnessed of his behavior normal. It didn't seem like he was a serious danger to himself or other. Yes, he had scared her that day on the boat. It was the first and only time he had ever physically intimidated her or hurt her. She had to believe that it would never happen again. The only kindness he had shown her was when he thought she was unconscious.

He had ludicrous reasons and excuses for why he kept hurting her. To her they seemed ludicrous but to him they were serious. He truly believed that he would hurt her and that he didn't deserve her. It didn't matter whether or not these two things were true, he believed that they were true, and that was all that mattered. Gaara had grown up in a warped reality that he had never truly been able to fix.

At ten thirty she ordered a glass of wine. The maître d' sat down with her and for the next hour they discussed everything but the whereabouts of Sakura's date. The young woman was attending the same university that Sakura had attended so they also talked about the classes she enjoyed taking and the professors they shared.

At eleven the bartender pulled up a chair and tried to convince Sakura that her date was a loser for making her wait and that she would not be disappointed if she left with him. Sakura was flattered but she had never really been interested in younger men and she still had a half hour to wait for Gaara.

He wasn't going to stand her up. He was not going to stand her up.

He stood her up.

Sakura stayed until closing. She even helped cleanup.

She felt like an idiot. She felt like the stupidest woman alive. She was a moron. There was something seriously wrong with her brain function. She had a PhD. How could someone as smart as she was put blind faith into a bad investment and then act shocked when it crashed and burned. She wasn't even allowed to feel betrayed because he told her that he wasn't going to be coming. He told her and she chose not to believe him. _She_ was the one living in a warped reality.

Why was she so insistent on believing that he was wrong? History proved that in all likelihood he would indeed hurt her. Gaara was certainly no angel. It was possible that he had done something so appalling that he really didn't deserve to be happy. It was the truth that Sakura just couldn't seem to stomach. She wasn't even considering him, the real him, when she told him to meet her.

She didn't want to look at it objectively. There was a part of her that was still a teenager. She wanted erase all the mistakes that they had made and just pick where they had left off. If she could take a step back then she would see that they were really just two strangers pretending to be teenagers. It was naïve to think that they could just sit down and forget their lives and the rest of the world. It wasn't just a casual meal between old friends. She might as well have invited him to sit down and take some shrooms with her. She wanted to create something that didn't exist anymore.

Gaara loved her. Sakura should have known enough about the world to understand that love isn't enough to build a relationship on. They had both loved each other ten years ago but they couldn't make it last. Who exactly was it that Gaara loved anyways? He didn't know her anymore. He loved a Sakura that existed in a different time.

Sakura was well aware of all of this yet she still wanted to sit out on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant and wait for him. The only thing that stopped her from doing this was the realization that it wasn't safe for a woman to be alone on the street during the middle of the night.

Since the… attack, Sakura had become wary of the city. She knew that the odds of such a thing happening again were slim but her brain seemed to be permanently on the fritz. It wasn't enough that she had to make a fool out of herself over Gaara Sabaku, but now she also had to feel afraid. She kept two cans of pepper spray and a foghorn in her purse. She tried to get everything she needed done during the day so she wouldn't have to be outside when it was dark. Whenever she was commuting she counted down the minutes until she would be safe in her office or safe at home.

She was furious at herself for feeling this way. She had beaten him. She had kicked his ass. She had proved to herself that there was nothing she couldn't handle. It was a random attack and could have happened to anyone. Everyone else dealt this with constant threat calmly and didn't allow for it to change the way they lived their lives. If all the drones in the city were able to walk the streets fearlessly then why couldn't Sakura?

She felt as if she had done something wrong and deserved what had happened. It was her punishment for being selfish. Sakura spent thousands of dollars a month on herself. She lived in a nice apartment, ate nice food and wore nice clothes. There were people in the city that had nothing. That man was probably a rapist because he had been failed by the education system and the welfare system. She was really no better than he was. Or maybe it was the science gods' way of punishing her for using so much effort on her personal life and not her work in the Lab.

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was too careless. She didn't think it was possible that something like that could happen to her. She should have been better prepared. He shouldn't have even been able to pull her into that alley. If he had been a slightly smarter man there was no telling what condition Sakura would be in now.

Needless to say, Sakura took a cab straight home and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't feel anything other than sorrow. Because even when she thought logically about Gaara Sabaku she couldn't ignore the tiny possibility that their realities could collide and turn into something beautiful and true. Maybe there was no reason for why this could happen but that meant there was also no reason for why it couldn't happen. If her nightmares could come true why couldn't her dreams do the same?

The elevator in the lobby of her building was broken so she took the stairs up to her floor. She wonder about what Gaara had chosen to do instead of having dinner with her. The sad thing was that she had no idea what he might be doing and she would never have the chance to learn.

Climbing the stairs in those evil, awful shoes made her want to cry. The only thing that kept her from dropping to the ground was the assurance that if she made it up to her floor she would be able to change into her softest pajamas and bunny slippers. Soon her mantra became if she could make it down the hall, her wonderful bed was waiting to take her into the blissful land of sleep. If she could just get her key in the lock-

This was weird. Sakura never left her door unlocked…

She pushed her door open and reached for the light switch. When the room illuminated Sakura dropped her purse and gasped. Her apartment was in shambles. She brought her shaking hand to her lips and covered her mouth.

Holy shit.

Lamps had been knocked over. Sai's pictures had been torn off the walls. The cushions and pillows from her sofa had been slashed and thrown into the kitchen. The pantry had been ransacked. Drawers had been opened and their contents had been dumped onto the floor. Her glass table was cracked. All of the papers in the folders and files she had taken home from work were scatted on the floor; some of them looked as if they had been stomped on. It looked as if someone had taken a golf club to her television.

And then there were the names. Someone had used red spray pain to write "WHORE" and "BITCH" and other words Sakura couldn't even say out loud.

Sakura didn't want to know what her bedroom or bathroom looked like. She didn't want to cross the threshold of her apartment. It wasn't safe. Someone had been in her apartment without her knowledge or permission. Someone had violated the places where cooked her meals, watched the news, slept at night, clothed her herself, and bathed herself.

Someone could still be in her apartment.

Sakura slammed her door shut and sprinted down the hallway. She descended the stairs with speed and recklessness. Twice she fell, the first time landing on her wrists and the second time twisting her ankle. She hobbled out of the building, swallowing the lump in her throat and biting her tongue to keep from crying. As soon as she took a breath of the hot and sticky night air she wanted to vomit.

Sakura was beginning to understand that neither the attack nor the break in was a random occurrence. She was being terrorized. Somebody was trying to send Sakura a message, and it wasn't a pretty one.

Fuck. Sakura carefully sat down on the steps outside the door. It wasn't safe to be outside and now it wasn't safe to be inside either. She groaned when she realized that she had left her purse upstairs in front of the door. She needed her phone to call the police but she couldn't even imagine going back up there to retrieve her bag. You couldn't pay her to go there again.

Part of her didn't even want to call the police; she was too embarrassed. There must have been something she could have done to prevent it from happening. The police officers were going to look at her and ask themselves what horrible thing she did to provoke her mysterious enemy. Or worse, they were going to pity her. They were going to get into their squad cars and say to each other, "oh that _poor_ woman. Look how weak she is. Look how all alone she is. She needs somebody to take care of her."

Sakura wanted to cry. She hadn't felt this alone since her grandmother's funeral. Something inside of her was dying a painful death. She wanted to scream. The pressure in her head was unbearable. Any moment now her skull was going to shatter into a tiny million pieces.

There was someone in the world that was going out of his or her way to hurt her and frighten her and she was helpless against them. Things were never going to work with Gaara Sabaku and there was no way she was helpless against that too. Naomi was going to get cancer again and Sakura couldn't stop it. Kabuto was always going to be an unfeeling and manipulative bastard. Orochimaru was always going to pervert science for his own purposes.

They knew where she lived. If they knew where she lived and knew where she shopped then it was likely that they had been following her for a while. It could be anyone in the city. How could she not notice that she was being stalked. Sakura was much too astute to let something like the get by her. Whoever it was must be a professional.

She had to leave it all behind her. Maybe she should just get the hell out of the city. Change her name and change her history. Find a place without tragedy and disappointment. _Just let go and forget. _Pretend that none of it ever happened. Start all over again. She had enough money. She could buy a house in the country and become a recluse. She wouldn't have to deal with love or death or sadness. It would be easy. It would be peace.

Like _hell_ she was going to do any of that cowardly quitter crap.

There was no point in sitting outside and waiting for the sky to fall. Crying wasn't going to accomplish anything. Sakura had to pick herself up off the ground and move on. She stood up. The only place she was going was Ino's apartment. And she was going to fucking walk there. Whoever it was that had such a vendetta against her needed to stop being a little bitch and get out there and do their own dirty work. Any asshole that dared to approach her on the street tonight was going to find a five-inch heel jammed down their windpipe. Sakura wasn't fooling around anymore.

"Come and get me," she whispered into the night.

* * *

"I know the police said it was okay for you to go home," said Ino. "But maybe you should stay here just one more night. I ordered Moroccan take out food and there is going to be too much for me to eat it all by myself."

"I'll stay for dinner," conceded Sakura. "But I'm going back home after that. It's been three days and I need to access the damage for myself."

Ino flopped down on the couch next to Sakura. "You're going to need a shopping buddy," she said excitedly.

"You're right," agreed Sakura. "I'll see if Kabuto is free."

"Loser." Ino threw a pillow at Sakura. "You know you need my shopping expertise. I have a colleague who is an interior designer. We should make a project out of it."

"I was thinking something along the lines of cheap and minimalist." Sakura didn't know whether she was ready to invest in her apartment again. Especially not when her attacker was still loose in the city. She also wasn't sure it was very good for her karma to spend so much money on something frivolous. She needed to return to her modest lifestyle. No more clothes and makeup shopping. No more shoes.

Ino looked at her doubtfully. "That sounds awfully stupid if you ask me."

Sakura shrugged and turned away. "I'm just not ready for it."

"When are you going to be ready?" Ino tugged on Sakura's arm so she was forced to see eye to eye with her. "When are you going to be ready to tell me about who your date was with?"

Sakura put her face in her hands and groaned. "It's not such a big deal. It was just one of the other scientists from work."

"I don't believe you." Ino pulled on Sakura hands. "This is way too weird. You won't tell me his name or anything about him."

Sakura lied to Ino because she knew that Ino wouldn't understand. Ino never understood Sakura's feelings for Gaara Sabaku. No one did. She didn't want to hear a lecture. She didn't need anyone to tell her how stupid she was being. She didn't need anyone to rub it in. Gaara probably never even considered meeting her. He was content on pretending that his love for her was just a dream. It was probably one of the luxuries of being a crazy person.

"Can we just drop it?" Sakura crossed her arms. "I just don't want to talk about it. I don't have to tell you everything."

Ino was quiet for a moment. "Sakura, I have an idea, and before you shoot me down I want you to think hard about it."

Sakura eyed her suspiciously. Ino was a good friend with good intentions but she worried too much. "I'm not going to move in with you."

Ino snorted. "Trust me. That is not something I would ever want. I, unlike you, have a sex life."

Sakura had begun to revert back to the idea that she didn't need sex in her life. She had gotten along so well without it. She didn't start having problems in her life until she started having all of these silly thoughts about love. No, her problems originated from something more insignificant. Her problems began when she met Gaara at that wedding. That's when she decided to beautify herself and force unnecessary ideas into her life. The only thing that really mattered was her work. She shouldn't need to remind herself of that.

"So what's this nonsensical plan you have?" asked Sakura.

"You're next trial doesn't start until two weeks from now." Ino said slowly. "This is technically your vacation, right?"

Sakura was annoyed. Ino was about to propose that the two of them should go on some silly tropical vacation. That was the last thing Sakura needed. She needed to fix her apartment and she needed to prepare for the trial. A vacation would be too hedonistic. It would be pointless. Besides, why should she take a vacation when there were people in the city who couldn't even afford to eat three square meals a day? It was wasteful.

"Not interested, Ino," said Sakura flatly.

Ino growled. "You said you would listen before you refused!"

Fine. Sakura guessed that she could humor her friend. She sighed. "Whatever. State your business."

"I think we should go on a road trip to Konoha," she said in one breath.

Was that some kind of joke? That was the very last place on earth she would want to go. If Gaara Sabaku caused her grief then Konoha would kill her. She felt a dull pain in her chest just at the sound of that town's name. Sakura laughed bitterly. "Oh Ino, you have lost your mind."

Ino winced. "Just hear me out," she said. "You haven't been back there since Tsunade died. The Uzumaki's have been taking care of your old house and the barn. You should maybe see if there is something there you could take back to your apartment. Maybe some furniture. Maybe something that will make you feel safer and more comfortable."

The old farmhouse. Sakura closed her eyes. She could remember the smell of the walls and the sound of the floorboards creaking. She could remember the softness of her blue comforter and the firmness of her mattress. She was appalled by the idea that she might want to bring memories from this place to haunt her in her apartment in the city.

Yet something inside of her thirsted for the familiarity. Part of her felt guilty for never having visited Tsuande's grave. "I don't know. I'd have to think about it."

"I also thought that maybe you would want to go to the funeral," said Ino.

"Funeral?" asked a confused Sakura. She didn't remember hearing anything about someone dying. "Whose funeral?"

Ino shifted awkwardly. "You mean no one told you?"

"You're the only person from Konoha I've talked to for weeks."

"Oh." Ino forced a smile. "Well, I'm not really sure what the right way to say this is," she paused and Sakura looked at her expectantly. "Temari Sabaku is dead."

Sakura's heart stopped. "Temari? What happened? When did this happen?"

Ino scratched her head. It was evident that this was difficult for her to talk about. "She killed herself. It was either three of four days ago. The funeral is two days from now."

Sakura's breath caught in her throat. Gaara. Gaara's sister was dead. Temari was dead. She had killed herself. She was dead. She was _dead_.

Sakura had known that Temari was troubled. It was obvious that mental illness ran in the family. Even though Temari had hurt Sakura, Sakura knew that Temari had honestly been trying to help her. They had been friends before Sakura had gotten involved with Gaara. Sakura had even looked up to her. Temari had never stopped trying to be a big sister to Sakura. Sakura was sorry to hear that there was something so painful in Temari's world that she felt the need to end her own life.

She had to wonder about what Gaara must be feeling. Gaara had hated Temari. Was he affected by the event? Was it possible that he was happy? Was it possible that he was sad? Was it wrong to hope that the reason he failed to meet her was because he was distraught over the death of his only sister? Sakura struggled to get a grip on it all. What was she supposed to do now?

Was it at all possible that Gaara needed her?

"I can't believe it," whispered Sakura. "How did her father let this happen?"

"The Senator? He was in the capital when it happened."

"Oh." Sakura felt her eyes welling up with tears. Too many people were dying too young. "We have to go to the funeral. She came to Tsunade's funeral."

"I know you two didn't really get along…" started Ino.

"We're going." Sakura said with finality. "She was one of us whether we got along or not."

"This might be your chance to get some closure. Just spend one night in your old house and see how it feels."

As much as it pained Sakura to admit it, she was confused. There were things going on in her life that she didn't understand and she couldn't decided what the best way was to handle what she was feeling. Maybe going back to Konoha would help her. Maybe _that_ was the place where her life left for hell.

The doorbell rang and both girls shot up in their seats. Ino push Sakura back down. "It's the food," she said starting toward the door. She turned around just before she got there. "So we're doing this?"

"We're doing this."

"We'll leave tomorrow morning. It's a long drive."

Sakura nodded slowly. "Okay," she said softly. "Tomorrow morning it is."

It was time to return to Konoha.

* * *

**Okay, before you claw my face off let me explain. I had two completely opposite paths planned out and I chose the dismal one. I know I promised more Gaara but I changed my mind about what was going to happen in the chapter. I PROMISE PROMISE that in the plot I have planned in my head the next chapter will be full of Gaara. If you can't wait that long. I'm posting a surprise too. Think of it as a consolation prize. **

**Poor Sakura is so confused. I tried to write her mind math. I hope it doesn't seem rushed. It is a little rushed. I want to get to the next part quickly because it's going to be more enjoyable to read and write. I don't like to spend a lot of effort on bad news. Unless it's fun.**

**Anyways. Check out my new post. It should be up an hour or so after this one. I just have to run it through spell check. **

**oh yes, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the reviews. I don't know how to convey how much I love reviews. THanks to everyone who also reviewed NITD. I was thinking of writing another part to it but I have so many other things going on that I feel like it would be silly.**

**Leave some more reviews ? I subsist off of these things. **


	12. Chapter 12

**As of 12/18/09 this is the revised version. There are important yet subtle differences from the original version so I suggest you take the time to read it. Cheers. C.J**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

* * *

Her house was smaller than she remembered, emptier too. She expected dust and cobwebs but Shizune and the Uzumaki's had taken exemplary care in it's upkeep, so it was like taking a step into an old photograph. It was a quiet snapshot of a life that had been stolen from her.

On her first day she touched nothing but the toilet and the couch. She wasn't ready to take that leap into the past. She couldn't even bring herself to climb the stairs. What kind of memories would be waiting for her in her room? And in Tsunade's room? And in the bathroom where Sakura had lost her first tooth? And in the closet where Tsunade would stash half empty liquor bottles?

She spent a total of two long hours sitting paralyzed on the couch before she walked over to the Yamanaka's and spent the night there. It would hurt too much to walk back into the chaos that she had left behind. She didn't know whether or not she could handle it. Sakura was still a coward.

Even Ino's house was threatening to pull her back into the time warp. She needed to escape.

The weather was beautiful so she thought that she would take a walk into town and get a nice glass of freshly squeezed lemonade at Ichiraku's. The lemonade at Ichiraku's was always the perfect balance between sweet and sour. Sakura could appreciate these simple pleasures in life. But she should have known better to count on an afternoon of peacefulness. It was just supposed to be a little fresh air and some time to stretch her legs. How could she have forgotten about the Konoha townspeople's favorite pastime? _Gossiping_.

Sakura sat in the corner of the bar and tried to shield her face from the town ladies' view. The last thing she needed was a confrontation with those nosy hags. Though they must have spotted her because it wasn't long before Sakura began to hear mentions of her name. She tried to ignore them but she knew that it would be impossible.

"Did you hear that she's a big shot scientist now?" whispered the woman behind the counter loudly to her father who was busy preparing food.

"Look how she's let herself go!" piped in the blond woman on the opposite of end of the counter. "That one won't be married until she's in her forties, just like her mama."

"Well, her man is still single too. I wonder if they'll rekindle their romance!"

This was unexpected. So the townswomen were pairing her off with Gaara Sabaku. Sakura was amused to hear them almost condoning the relationship. The last time that she had heard them put her name and Gaara's name in the same sentence they were threatening to have a town intervention to "rescue" her from his evil clutches. Public opinion must have changed since she was last in her Konoha.

"I envy her." The woman behind the counter giggled. "That Sasuke Uchiha sure is handsome."

Oh. _Oh_. That man. Apparently Sasuke Uchiha was in town too. It would seem as if the whole world had driven in for Temari's funeral. All of the B&Bs in Konoha were full as well as several hotels in Suna. Many of the Senator's other constituents and colleagues were attending the service to show their support. It was only natural that Sasuke would be there with the rest of his family.

To be perfectly honest, Sakura didn't know what Sasuke Uchiha did for a living, She didn't know his marital status, his criminal record, his dental record- Sakura didn't give a shit about that man. She didn't hold a grudge against him for something that happened between them in high school, she just had no interest in him. She had gotten over him ten years ago. They would have nothing to say to each other.

"That _vermin_ is back too," said a new woman, joining the blond woman at the counter. "He's been here all week. I cannot believe the Senator is letting that monster stay in his house."

Sakura's ears perked up. _Now_ they were talking about her man. She was somewhat relieved to hear that Gaara had been in Konoha on the night of their date. She wanted him to have a legitimate excuse for not meeting her. She was a little surprised that he was staying at his old house, but where else would he be staying? She sipped her lemonade and strained her ears to hear their conversation.

"Didn't he write a book?" asked the man behind the counter to his daughter.

She nodded. "Yes, but it's probably complete garbage. I taught at Konoha elementary school and I remember that boy being a moron."

"He was engaged to that rich girl," said the blond woman. "But she dumped him. Smart girl. I shudder to think of what life would be like living with that person would be like." Sakura herd the woman shift in her seat. "But I suppose he has… matured a bit since we last saw him. He's not as… skinny."

"Yes," agreed the newly arrived woman slowly. "I guess one might say that he has filled out rather nicely."

Sakura snorted into her glass. Damn right. Gaara Sabaku was _hot_ property, and she had officially put in her bid. Even the town ladies couldn't ignore the fact that he was a total hunk.

The blond woman sighed dramatically. "Temari was such a beautiful girl too. I can't imagine why she would take her own life. Her father relied on her. Where is he going to find a better assistant than his own daughter?"

Sakura suspected that Temari had gotten a job working for the Senator. Gaara had once commented to her that Temari was her fathers little pet. Maybe she grew tired of having to run in circles and chase her tale. Maybe she wanted to have her own life and he wouldn't give it to her. Sakura would certainly be dissatisfied with her life if her job were to spend every moment of her day slaving away for a person who would neither appreciate nor acknowledge her hard work. She imagined that that lifestyle would be demoralizing.

"Do you know how she did it?" asked the woman behind the counter eagerly. "I heard that she did it in the garage with the exhaust fumes from the car."

"I heard that she left two cars running. Kankuro's wife and son were the one who found her. Poor little Jun is going to need therapy…"

Sakura stood up and put a hand full of bills and coins on the counter. She had heard enough. Whether or not what she heard was truth or fiction didn't much matter. Temari was dead either way. She had wanted to die and now she was dead. The reasons were unimportant. It wasn't something that could be undone.

Sakura felt lighter when she heard the bell chime on her way out. The air outside on the street was sweet. Somewhere in Konoha flowers were always blooming. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Did Temari ever stop to smell the roses?

The funeral was to start an hour before dusk. Sakura needed to return to her own house to change and get ready. She exhaled slowly and started down the street. How many times had she walked this same path? She rounded the corner to walk up the dirt road that lead back to her house and bumped into something solid hidden beneath a layer of fabric. Sakura's head snapped up and she smiled despite herself.

"Sakura Haruno," rumbled a deep voice.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Sakura took a step back so she could face him properly. It was the prince himself. " I heard that you were around here somewhere."

Sasuke smirked. "The town ladies can't shut up about me."

"And that's a good thing?" Sakura laughed. It would seem that Sasuke's trademark arrogance was still in check. "You haven't changed a bit."

Sakura found herself not hating Sasuke Uchiha. There was no tension in the air between them. Sasuke was still a dreamboat. He was still remarkably good looking if not better looking than the last time she had seen him. He was a few inches taller and his hair was just slightly longer and the effect was just short of devastating. In his polo shirt and khaki pants, he maintained this image of a pedigree gentleman. Tall dark and handsome indeed.

"So I'm still the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on?" Sasuke asked coyly. There was laughter in his eyes. He gave her an appraising look. "You're still _vaguely_ attractive." He squinted and tapped one finger on his chin. "I'd even go as far as to say that you're lovely."

"Well, thanks," said Sakura sarcastically. Shallow as a bathtub, that Sasuke Uchiha. Sakura gestured at her worn jeans and threadbare shirt. "I dressed up just for you."

Sasuke flashed his pearly whites. "You always did."

"I was just a kid." Sakura remembered how she had used to wake up hours early in the morning to get dressed and look good enough to be Sasuke's girl. "You never appreciated it anyway," she muttered under her breath.

Sasuke smile faltered and he sighed. "I did more than you think." He held out his arm to her. "May I walk you home, Ms. Haruno?"

"It's Dr. Haruno." Sakura said, taking his arm. "And yes, you may walk me home." She found herself obliging if not for curiosity's sake. This was definitely an improved Sasuke. Still a total slime ball but maybe not so soulless. What was so different in his life now? Sakura had the urge to unwrap him a bit. "So where have you been for the past ten years?" she asked.

"Let's see…" Sasuke ran a hand through his thick dark hair. "I went to school in London. I worked a few years in Hong Kong and then Sydney and now Miami."

Sakura hummed. Some how she always knew that Sasuke was destined for a life of traveling. "So you're quite the globetrotter. What do you do exactly?"

"I'm a partner in an international banking firm." Sasuke turned and smirked again. "I make a _shit ton_ of money."

Of course he had to add on that last part. He wanted everyone to know how wealthy he was. But, Sakura could respect him. At least it was his own money and not his family's. She was impressed that he had broken away from the Uchiha clan and gotten his own job. She always had pegged him as the playboy type. "Well, you always did like money," said Sakura.

Sasuke shrugged and pushed a hanging branch away from Sakura's face. "Well, you're not exactly a pauper. I'm sure they pay you well at whatever hospital you're working at."

"I work in a lab," corrected Sakura. She had her bragging rights too. "I do research. I'm the smartest woman there."

"You always did like being the smartest," teased Sasuke.

Sakura hit him playfully on the arm. "Go to hell, Uchiha."

"You started it!" Sasuke rubbed the spot where she had hit him as if she had actually hurt him.

They walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. When they finally reached her front door Sasuke opened his mouth, shut it, and then open it once more.

"Listen," he started. "I saw Ino in town earlier but I didn't get a chance to say hello. I thought maybe when you see her you could say hello for me?"

Sakura pursed her lips to stifle her laughter. Sasuke saw Ino and decided he wanted a piece of that. It took her back to the days when they were in middle school and she and Ino fought over Sasuke. Sakura wasn't sure if Ino would be flattered or horrified. Sasuke didn't seem as obnoxious as he did ten years ago. He was doing well reminding her of all the reasons she was smitten with him in the beginning. He knew how to make the most of the silence. The man was effortlessly charming.

Sakura sobered herself up with the memories of the harsh words he had said to her and the bruises he had given Gaara. He had made both of their lives hell. Her face grew serious. "You know, when I left Konoha, I hated you. I sincerely hated you."

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. "You said it yourself, we were just kids."

"You were a viper." Sakura accused. "You don't know how many nights I spent crying over you. It made me physically sick to be with you."

Sasuke stared into her eyes and Sakura could see his earnestness. "I'm not trying to say that what I did back then was excusable. But I really didn't know what I was doing. I was sixteen years old and I was an Uchiha. I can't tell you what goes on in my house behind closed doors but I will tell you that it's not always so pleasant. I had to learn to cope. I made a lot of mistakes." He swallowed. "My family is nuts, Sakura. When I left for college I left for good."

It had never really occurred to Sakura that being an Uchiha was anything other than living the high life. While she never got the impression that there was anything immoral going on in that household there was always an unnatural amount of tension among its members. She knew that Sasuke was screwed up but she never really gave any thought as to why. Despite this, she couldn't muster up too much sympathy for him. She was no saint after all. "Well, I'm happy for you then. It's not always so easy to get out."

Sasuke smiled slightly. "You know, I really did love you. I know I had a funny way of showing it but I did care for you. I was upset when we broke up." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I did anything that hurt you."

Sakura's mouth was suddenly finding it difficult to form words. She never expected an apology from Sasuke, never in a million years. She didn't know Uchiha's felt remorse. She didn't know whether to believe him or not, but she knew it didn't matter anymore. They had their own separate lives now. He was not Gaara Sabaku. He was not going to stumble into her life again. She forced a smile. "Apology excepted, Sasuke. Don't worry about it. I got over it a long time ago."

Sasuke Uchiha was not the cause of her heartache. No, that man was still loose in Konoha and Sakura had to prepare herself to see him, because there was no telling what kind of mood he would be in. There never was.

* * *

The funeral was nothing like Tsunade's. Tsunade's funeral had been heartfelt and emotional. There had not been a dry eye in the cemetery. Everyone that gave a eulogy spoke of the good times and fond memories they had shared with Tsunade. Tsunade had lived one hell of a life.

Temari's funeral was… clinical. The senator gave a half hour speech during which he talked mostly about himself. The majority of the crowd had never even met Temari so they stayed politely silent, waiting patiently for the service to end. A few of the townswomen were crying, but for the most part everyone was calm. It didn't look as if Temari had any friends other than a few coworkers in the Senator's office. Sakura felt that this was the real tragedy. Her life had been miserable.

A wonder of all wonders, Gaara Sabaku was sitting in the front row between his father and his brother. Sakura couldn't see his face, only the back of his head, so she had no idea what he might be feeling. She doubted that he was aware of her presence. She did her best not to stare at him. She didn't want to risk him turning around and seeing her. She wasn't ready for him. She wanted to concentrate on mourning.

Sakura realized that she and Temari had a lot in common. For a while, Sakura had had no friends, just her work. Her life had been her job. She wanted to believe that if her life had continued down that path that she would not have made the same choice. She was thankful for the people in her life that she could still love and call family.

After the service Sakura wandered over to Tsunade's head stone. Her throat constricted when she saw that there were fresh lilies on the grave. Someone had been taking care of her grandmother in her absence. She wished that she had remembered some flowers of her own to bring Tsunade. She had ten years worth of visits to make up for missing.

Was Tsunade proud of her? Sakura liked to think she was. Sakura knew that Tsunade was giving her the strength to be unafraid of the problems in her life. Tsunade would never let attacks and vandalisms scare her into changing the way she lived her life. Tsunade would never let someone terrorize her. Sakura had to be like Tsunade.

Sakura wished that she could ask her grandmother for advice. Tsunade always knew what to do. Tsunade would be able to tell her whether or not she should chase after Gaara. Tsunade would be able to tell her how she could regain some control over her life.

Tsunade would tell her to go after what she wanted. Tsunade had never had a problem with Gaara. She would tell Sakura not to give up. She would tell Sakura to find out who was trying to hurt her and kick their ass. She would tell Sakura not to be afraid of going back to the house and brining her past back with her to the present.

Sakura took a deep breath. Temari's mourners had gone back to the Sabaku mansion for a repast. Sakura knew that if she wanted to talk to Gaara that was where she was going to find him.

* * *

She tried to remain inconspicuous. She didn't want anyone to know that she was looking for him. She chatted with some townspeople and she ate a couple of cookies. She watched in amusement as Sasuke tried his luck with Ino. She met Kankuro's son and very pregnant wife. She searched for Gaara behind every door, every shade and every person. He was nowhere to be found.

But that was a lie. Sakura knew exactly where to find him. She just didn't know if she was brave enough to go down there again. She had too many bad memories of that place. That was where everything had begun to unravel. Could any good come from returning there?

But she wasn't going to be a coward anymore. She wasn't going to leave Konoha without at least talking to him. There was nothing that she could find down there that she would have to be afraid of. What was the worst that could happen? How many times could he break her heart? She was strong enough to do this. She could face him once more. She had to.

She descended the basement stairs slowly. There was the familiar drop in air temperature and the familiar resulting chills. She could feel goosebumps forming on her bare legs. She froze half way down the steps. The eerie noises hadn't change and water continued dripped from the now rusty pipes. The basement was still a dungeon and it still made her sick to think about a skinny redhead spending his childhood locked away down there.

Sakura took a moment to collect herself and then she continued walking. Her heels touched the cement floor with a final 'clack' and she turned to face it: Gaara's bedroom where Gaara was lying down on Gaara's bed. Those tattered grey blankets covered his body and he lay curled up on his side.

"Hello?" she called out to him hesitantly. He didn't reply but she could see that his eyes were open and staring blankly ahead. "Gaara…?"

Still no answer.

Sakura began to grow nervous. Was he sleeping or was it something more sinister? She slipped her heels off and tiptoed over to his bedside. She knelt down next to his face. Even now it took her breath away when she saw how handsome he had become. And of all things, he smelt like lilies. She relished the opportunity to be so close to him and was relieved to see his eyes finally travel upward to her face. "Gaara…" she repeated. For a moment she was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry about your sister," she said finally.

"She wanted to die," he said impassively. "We should be celebrating that she got what she wanted." He closed his eyes.

Sakura's hand tentatively reached out threaded its fingers through his hair. "She was confused." Sakura began to gently comb the strands. Gaara needed her to be gentle with him. It unnerved her to see how he was showing his vulnerable side for once. She was so used to him bottling up his grief or reacting with anger. What was she supposed to handle this new side to him? What could she say to him? "Temari didn't really want to die."

His eyes shot open. "_I_ wanted her to die. I should be celebrating that I got what I wanted."

Sakura bit her lip and continued to pet him. "You're confused too." She couldn't say that he didn't want her to die. Temari had tortured him. She wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to celebrate but the man in front of her didn't really look like he was in the mood for anything of the sort.

Sakura had suspected that he was not emotionally equipped to handle grieving. Temari's death probably sent him on a tailspin. She didn't care how old or have mature he had become, Gaara's family would always be his weak spot. He didn't know whether to feel happy that someone who had hurt him was gone or to feel sad that his sister was dead.

"I didn't think you would be here," said Gaara.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. Did he mean with him or at the funeral? "Why wouldn't I be here?"

Gaara looked away from her. "I wasn't here for you… when Tsunade…"

"Oh," Sakura smiled reassuringly. "That was different. You couldn't help it. I don't fault you for being sick." Her hand froze in his hair. "Are you happy I'm here?"

Gaara shook his head slightly. "Happy isn't the right word." He closed his eyes again and touched his chest. "I don't feel as bad anymore. It doesn't hurt as much."

"Do you want me to leave?" Sakura asked slowly. Did he want her to take away his pain? Her hand returned to her lap.

Gaara sat up so their faces were aligned. "Do _you_ want to leave?" he asked with wide imploring eyes.

Sakura's heart was beating dully in her chest. She had come down there because she wanted to be with him. "You should know the answer to that question by now."

Gaara stared at her in disbelief. "How? How is it that you would want to have anything to do with me? All I've done is hurt you."

"Well," Sakura laughed despite herself. "I've been asking myself that question for a while. You're not exactly perfect…"

"But I want to be perfect for you," Gaara said seriously.

Perfect and perfect for Sakura were two separate ideas. He didn't have to be either and she would still want him. She took a shaky breath. "Let's just try it. Maybe this is the right thing to do, and if it is we'll never know it until we try it. I want to give it a try."

Gaara covered his eyes with his hands. "Let's try it then," he said.

Sakura pried his hands away from his face and gave him a long searching look. She needed to know if he was serious. She couldn't afford to play around. Her heart couldn't handle it. "That night," she asked. "We you going to be there?"

Gaara's jaw clenched and he stared at the floor. "No," he said honestly. "No I wasn't."

It was a cruel slap in the face. If Gaara wasn't going to be there then what was Sakura doing hanging around here for? She couldn't pretend that it didn't matter. He didn't want her. He was saying that he wanted her but he didn't He didn't know what he wanted and she wasn't going to wait around for him to figure out what that was. "Okay," she whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. "That's that then." She tried to stand up but he caught her wrist and anchored her to the floor.

"Sakura," he said calmly.

It wasn't fair. They had been so close. She had been thinking about him for weeks now. She had waited for hours at that restaurant. And now he was just feeling a little down because his sister killed herself and wanted a pick me up. He knew that Sakura had the power to make him feel better so he was going to play with Sakura's heart until he got over his sister and then he would get cold feet and dump Sakura.

"Let go of me." She struggled to break his hold and wished that her eyes weren't filling up with warm tears. "I don't want to do this anymore." She was embarrassed now but she refused to cry. She wasn't that pathetic that she would cry over an asshole like Gaara Sabaku. She wasn't that stupid. She should have known better than to get her hopes up.

Gaara too seemed to be losing his cool. There was a desperate glint in his eyes. "It would have been the biggest mistake of my life." He leaned in to try to wipe the tears, but she wiggled out of his grasp.

"Like hell, Gaara Sabaku!" she cried. "I don't need you to dry my tears for me anymore. Especially not the ones you've caused."

"Just give me a minute," Gaara begged, his tone bordering on frantic. "Let me think of the words to say that will make this right! My brain isn't working now."

She was tired of being jerked around. "Is this some sort of game to you? Do you think that you can just do hurtful things and then fix it by telling me what I want to hear? What the hell is all of this?" With her free hand she gestured to the grey blankets pooled around Gaara's form. "Why are you acting depressed? You hated Temari!"

"No," Gaara growled. "_Temari_ hated _me_." He let go of her. "I'm not trying to trick you. This isn't a game to me either. I've never been good at saying or doing the right thing to make you understand what I'm feeling or what I'm thinking."

"That's no excuse." Sakura crossed her arms. He was socially inept but he wasn't stupid. "You're a grown man. You can't do one thing and say another and expect me to believe you. Why am I supposed to take a chance with you when you can't even make up your mind whether or not you're serious about this?"

Gaara was silent for a moment. "Do you…" he closed his mouth and swallowed. "Do you think that you're the only one who would be taking a risk? Do you think that this is just me being persnickety? Stop oversimplifying! If this is a failure… it will be my fault. We both know that it will be my fault. I don't want to hurt you."

"That's a bullshit reason and you know it!" Sakura was tired of his excuses. She was a big girl. He needed to let her worry about her own feelings.

"Are you kidding me? You have to know how I feel about you by now. If we fail, it will be on my conscience all over again that I screwed up and hurt you. Do you have any idea what it feels like to hurt the person you care the most about in this world? I still haven't gotten over that! And if we try this again and it blows up in our faces do you think that I can just walk away from it? I have to think about myself too. I'm strong now but I know that am… sensitive. If this ends badly I can't guarantee that I won't… do something regrettable."

Sakura realized for the first time that Gaara might actually had more to lose. A bad breakup would be ten time more damaging to someone with emotional problems. And Sakura had other people in her life that loved her. Gaara didn't have anyone that he could fall back on for support. He was alone, and even when he didn't show it, he was seriously vulnerable. She would be asking him to risk everything he had worked so hard to build. "Gaara…" she started.

"And don't insult me, Sakura. Don't fucking insult me. Do you really think that I'm careless enough to just decide that I want to try this on a whim? I've agonized over this for months and I know what's at stake. If I say that I'm going to try it then it means that I'm going to try it. I don't mess around and I would never mess around with you."

For better or for worse, Sakura believed him.

"I've…" Gaara paused. "I have done unforgivable things. I'm not worthy of you and I don't deserve to be with you." He straightened up. "But I'll work harder to be a better person for you. Please give me a second chance."

Sakura's mouth felt dry. Gaara had grown. Gaara was a man now.

This was refreshing. Gaara pleading with her? This was new. Sakura contemplated being obstinate just for the sake of showing him what it felt like to meet resistance but she was too dumbstruck by his confession to assess what an appropriate reaction might be. She was much too wary to fall into his arms like the heroine from a romance novel. But she was finding it difficult to doubt his sincerity. She needed to decide right here and right now whether or not this thing was going to ever make it off of the ground.

Finally Sakura found her voice. "We need to take it slow. I don't trust you."

Gaara seemed to consider this for a moment. "I wouldn't trust me either."

Sakura licked her dry lips. "You're going to be on probation. No sex."

"I understand," he said without batting an eyelash. "I don't expect you to do anything you're not comfortable with. No pressure."

Sakura knew that it wouldn't be easy and she knew that she had to protect herself. She wasn't stupid and she wasn't going to leave herself defenseless. "You need to communicate with me. Don't make all the decisions by yourself."

Gaara looked slightly annoyed. "Communicate? That goes both ways. Try listening to me when I speak. Don't give me ultimatums. I was under no obligation to be there that night. I said that I wasn't going to be. You can't start to cry when I don't do what you tell me to."

"You're right," said Sakura grudgingly. She wanted to argue with him. He was ten millions times worse at not listening. He was a bigger crybaby than she was but he didn't cry tears. Tears were too appropriate of an emotional response. God forbid he reacted normally to social pressure. That would have been much too easy. "No secrets this time either. I don't want to hear it from Temari that-" Sakura realized her mistake and abruptly shut her mouth.

"Temari is dead, Sakura," said Gaara flatly. "She was a miserable bitch and the world is probably better off without her."

Sakura grimaced. So part of him was still an angst ridden teenager who couldn't distinguish sorrow from anger. "It's okay to be sad, Gaara," she said gently. "Temari was your sister after all."

"Sister?" Gaara snorted. "She never once acted like a sister." His face darkened. "But I acted like a brother. I protected her. I knew it was what my mother would have wanted."

"Gaara…?" Sakura wasn't following. What did he protect Temari from? Their father maybe?

"They look alike, you know," said Gaara. "My mother and Temari. I've seen pictures. Even when she was a baby, Temari looked just like her."

This was the first time Gaara had ever mentioned his mother to Sakura. It showed her that the pain he was feeling right now was not just about Temari's death. Even ten years later, Gaara had yet to escape the black clouds the hovered over the Sabaku name. His broken bones had healed but his heart was still bruised and aching. Sakura didn't know what she could do to help him.

Sakura took a deep breath. "I think that Temari-"

"No," Gaara interrupted. "No. This doesn't matter. My family is fucked up. I don't give a shit."

He was lying. Sakura knew that if they didn't deal with this now then they would have to deal with it eventually. "Families are-"

"It's fine. I really don't care." He threw the blankets off of himself and sprung out off of the bed. "It was a mistake even coming here."

"Gaara…" But she knew this was a losing battle.

He started stuffing shirts into his suitcase. "I'm going back to the city and I'm saying goodbye to Konoha forever."

Goodbye to Konoha forever? Is that what Sakura wanted? Is that why she had refused to touch anything that threatened to connect her with her old life in Konoha? Did she really want to forget about Konoha?

No. No, of course not. Her most precious memories took place in this small town. Konoha was the first place she could truly call home. The good times significantly outweighed the bad times. There was nothing to be afraid of. She might even find some joy in exploring her old house. It might feel comforting to sleep in her old bed.

"Gaara, wait," said Sakura. "Help me with just one thing first."

He turned around and raised his brow. "Help you? Help you with what?"

Sakura stood up and adjusted her skirt. It was time to be a big girl and go home. She wanted to go through every room in the house and taken inventory and pick out what she thought would belong her now. It would be like going shopping at a store full of her favorite things where everything was free. How did she not fall in love with this idea before? That end table in the hallway leading to the living room to the kitchen would look perfect in her bedroom!

"I was thinking of taking some of the furniture in my old house to my apartment in the city," she explained. "I could use some muscle."

Gaara blinked. "Yeah, okay. I can do that."

It had been a little test to see if he was going to stay true to his word. Sakura was relieved that he had said yes. "Tomorrow morning, then?" She slipped her feet back into her shoes.

"Okay." Gaara scratched his head. "Seven?"

"Sounds great." She pointed her thumb back to the stairs. "I'm going to go get going then. I have a lot to do."

Gaara smiled awkwardly and gave a tiny wave. "See you tomorrow."

Sakura turned her back on him and climbed up the stairs. Her pace was slow yet her heart felt as if it would beat out of her chest. "See you tomorrow." He had said. _See you tomorrow. _It was really happening. She was getting her second chance with Gaara.

_Finally.

* * *

_

Sakura didn't tell him about the break-in or the attack. She knew that there was a possibility he was only with her now from the emotional trauma he had sustained for Temari's death but she didn't want her attachment to him to stem from her own frayed nerves.

She was worried that when he recovered from the shock of his sister's suicide he would remember all of the reasons he had for rejecting her. She was worried that her desire for him was actually her desire for a distraction. She didn't want either of them to start the relationship under false pretenses. She wanted it in a sense to be pure. She didn't want to pick up where they had left off; she wanted a fresh start.

She felt herself being peculiarly shy. Anytime she felt him staring at her when she was pretending to be consumed in the inventory list she was creating or sorting through a drawer of knick-knacks and scented candles she honest to god blushed. She could sense him mentally caressing her bare arms and devouring her curves. Sometimes it was difficult to even look him in the eyes. When their hands would accidentally brush together Sakura fought the urge to giggle and call Ino to report the encounter. How was it that ten years ago she had been tucked in his embrace and listening to the sound of his beating heart but today her pulse had taken off like a jackrabbit when he had almost smiled at her?

She had hoped that they would spend the day catching up and sharing their life stories but she should have expected that this fantasy was outlandish and unlikely. Gaara answered most of her questions with a nod, a shrug or by shaking his head. He didn't volunteer any information about himself or his past endeavors. He never offered his opinion and he seemed determined to do all of the heavy lifting without her help.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked him when they were finished. "I have some freshly squeezed orange juice in the fridge."

"No, thank you," said Gaara. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his dark wash jeans. "I should get going."

So soon? She tried not to let her disappointment show. "Alright then," she replied. What now? Was she supposed to hug him? Kiss him? Shake his hand? She was at a loss. He was just standing opposite her, leaning in the doorway. He was just watching her and waiting for her to say something or do something but Sakura had no idea what this might be. She cleared her throat. "Here," she said, pulling a business card out of her pocket. "Call me sometime next week."

"Right," replied Gaara. He tried to take the card from her hand but Sakura wouldn't let go.

"Seriously," she said, "don't wimp out on me. If you don't call me then this really is the end. I won't forgive you."

Gaara tugged the business card and forced it from her fingers. "If I said I'll call you I'll call you," he promised. "I won't disappoint you."

Sakura hoped not. She wasn't going to assemble the parts to her heart just to have him bulldoze through them again. She couldn't count on him not to disappoint her so she would have to count on herself to be strong enough to get through it. She would not leave herself vulnerable.

She would not be attacked again.

* * *

**Okay, if you didn't review the first time this is the perfect opportunity for you to review now! **

**THanks for everything guys. I gotta love you. **


	13. Chapter 13

**~ As of 12/11/09 ~ This is the revised version! Here that? It's been revised!! **

**I've mostly added details (it was seriously lacking and poorly written) but I also extended some scenes and gave some more information. I changed around some dialogue too make in more in character and so it will fit better with the plans I have for the rest of the story (as of now at least).**

**I'm much more satisfied with the way this has turned out. I'm still a happy girl these days so this is even sweeter than the first version. I hope you don't throw up. Things aren't going to stay this sugary. I have just become a girl who appreciates cuteness. **

**So... Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Sakura stood outside the door of her superior's office and thought hard about what she was planning to do. Could she really just barge into Orochimaru's office and accuse him of a conspiracy?

There was no doubt in her mind that he was responsible for the attacks. She didn't know why she hadn't seen it sooner. Part of her had known the entire time.

He had threatened her and immediately afterwards the attacks had begun. She was almost raped and her apartment had been trashed all because Orochimaru wanted to play mad scientist. It made Sakura's blood boil. She had to put an end to it. She refused to be manipulated.

Sakura took a deep breath, knocked on the door, and walked inside. "Dr. Orochimaru?" she called.

Orochimaru looked up from his desk and smiled. "Dr. Haruno, to what do I owe this visit from you?"

His false courtesy made her sick to her stomach. "I'm here to talk to you about scare tactics and why I'm immune to them," she said boldly.

"I can't say I know what you're talking about." His voice was impassive but his glare was menacing. He made it clear he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Cut the crap," spat Sakura. She knew it was unwise to speak this way to her one of her bosses but she felt like after all he had done to her he deserved to be disrespected. "What ever it is you're trying to accomplish with this _harassment_ isn't going to happen. You're not going to bully me into doing anything unethical. If you want to give people an unapproved drug find someone else to do it for you. I'm not going to have any part in it."

"We'll see Dr. Haruno…" he flashed a sinister smile. "We'll see."

Sakura shook her head. "No, this stops now. Stay away from me, and stay away from my patients."

"I think it's time for you to go back to your own office," said Orochimaru. "You have a lot of work to do before the second trial starts. Your future in the science research world depends on this trial. Don't screw up."

Sakura's jaw clenched. More threats? "I won't," she said firmly. "I won't do anything wrong."

Nothing he could say or do could possibly change that.

Sakura left his office knowing full well that this was not even close to being over with. But whatever the steak might be, Sakura was ready for a fight.

* * *

"Um, hi," he held out a bouquet of lavender roses, "these are for you."

Sakura's face broke into a goofy smile. She couldn't help but notice how strong his grip was around the stems. "Thank you," she took them from his hands and buried her nose in them, "they smell wonderful." She gestured for him to follow her through the door. "Let me just find a vase for these and then we can go."

"Take your time," said Gaara casually. "I sort of know the owner."

Gaara had connections now? He had connections and knew where a flower shop was? Sakura tried to hide her shock. He was serious about this and _this_ was the start of a real relationship. Gaara was making an actual effort. For once she didn't feel like she was forcing him into a relationship. They were finally on equal footing. They both had so much to gain and so much to lose.

"Do you eat out a lot?" Sakura asked in an attempt to make conversation. She wanted to put him at ease.

"I don't know how to cook." He sat down on the stool across the counter from the sink and turned his head to survey the room. His eyes shifted from the Persian rug to the vintage leather couch. He blinked twice. "I like your apartment. Is all of this stuff from your house in Konoha?"

Here it was. It was her perfect opportunity to tell Gaara about Orochimaru and his evil plot. This was the time to tell Gaara about the attacks against her. It would be best to enter in this relationship with honesty and openness. If she didn't want him to keep secrets from her she had to trust him too. And as much as she hated to admit it, Sakura wouldn't mind hearing someone telling her that it was all going to be okay.

"Yeah, most of it is, but I did pick up a few things at an estate sale upstate. I guess I just wanted a piece of home," she answered vaguely. "I don't really have a flair for decorating."

It was for his benefit that she had lied. She didn't want him to hear her story and then go and do something rash. She didn't know him well enough to guess how he might react. History told her that it wouldn't be pretty. She didn't want him to get into trouble for her sake. She was doing the right thing. With any luck she could fix her problems without him ever having to know.

"Nor do I," said Gaara. "My apartment came with furniture"

Sakura tried to picture what Gaara's bachelor pad might be like. She hoped she would get a chance to see it for herself. Sometime soon perhaps? She imagined it to be plain and modern styled. In her mind his apartment was decorated in hues of blue, green and brown. He had a working kitchen that was virtually untouched. Abstract art adorned the walls and tall, wide windows let streaming sunlight into his living room. She hoped that he kept his bedroom neat and tidy.

Did Gaara do his own laundry? Sakura realized with a tiny smile that she wouldn't mind doing Gaara's laundry. She would use the expensive and fresh smelling detergent. She would iron and fold too. Oh! And she had been in a department store last week and found the softest cashmere sweater. She could get it for him in that shade of steely grey that she had a feeling would really set off his eyes.

Sakura resisted the urge to sigh and put the filled vase of flowers on the hand painted coffee table that had once stood in Tsuande's living room. She clasped her hands together and bit her lip. Her chest felt warm and she wondered if his did too. They had just finished their first official conversation as a couple. Life was good.

"I'll go get my purse, it's in the other room." She pointed to the door at the end of the hall.

Gaara nodded. "I'll wait right here."

Sakura couldn't resist taking a quick peek in the mirror on her vanity. She just wanted to make sure she still looked clean and natural, just the way that she knew that he liked her. Sure enough, her appearance was plain and inconspicuous. Her face wasn't painted or colorful, and her dress (a different one from the one she wore on their original date) was not too gaudy or provocative. She was wearing the perfect outfit and she was wearing it well.

She knew better than to expect any compliments from Gaara. He was obviously on his best behavior but he was still Gaara. In a way, she didn't want him to say anything. That was not the part of him that needed to change. Though, she had always been curious about why he disliked makeup and glamorous clothes. It made her happy to know that he also liked her the way she was. Other women out there would kill for a man who was attracted to them even when their eyes were red from crying or when they were in post-op.

Sakura was slightly terrified that Gaara was too good looking for her now. He looked so yummy in his crisp white dress shirt. If he would just undo a few of those buttons he could be one of the men in one of those cologne ads. Men in cologne ads are always wearing unbuttoned white dress shirts. Gaara was that perfect combination of fiery and exotic that produced a sexiness that no woman could to deny. Sakura was hardly magazine spread material.

"Ready to go?" Sakura asked, emerging from the bedroom.

"Sure," Gaara replied straightening up. "It's not too far from here so we can walk if you want to."

"Okay." Sakura brushed past him to open the door. "Shall we?" she asked, holding it open.

Gaara nodded and started towards her. He stopped midway and stood frozen to the ground. "This isn't right."

"What isn't right?" asked Sakura cautiously.

Shit. They hadn't even made it out the door. He was already pulling this shit and they hadn't even made it out the door. Fuck him. Gaara was a fucking low life. How fucking dare he come all the way out here if he was going to chicken out? Did he have even a minute amount of respect for her? She was going to kill him. She was going to take her shoe off and stab him.

"Um, I forgot…" Gaara put his hands over his face, took a breath, and then put them back down again. "I forgot… I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look tonight."

It was a miracle that Sakura didn't crumple to the ground after he spoke those words. He wouldn't have said them if he didn't think they were true. Sakura's cheeks were gradually turning pink. This was real, wasn't it? This wasn't some sort of dream?

If this was a dream then Sakura didn't want to wake up. If she could just stay sleeping for just another couple hours… she had to see this night through. For once she actually had a good feeling that the night wasn't going to end in tears.

* * *

He didn't hold her hand but he did hold the restaurant door open for her. She hadn't been expecting it so an awkward moment passed between them where she stood there staring stupidly at him. When she finally realized what was going on she hurried through the door to hide her blush.

When Gaara had called her to ask her out, Sakura had been surprised that he suggest that they go to dinner. It was far too normal. His voice had been so calm on the phone but the words had sounded… rehearsed almost. The idea that he had been practicing his lines before picking up the phone to call her, made want to grab him by the ears and kiss his face. She couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. Thoughts of cancer and Orochimaru never crossed her mind.

Naturally she had been fantasizing about the date all week. But she didn't even try to imagine what kind of restaurant he would be taking her to. They weren't exactly in the nicest neighborhood. The streets were deserted and several stores seemed to be boarded up with wooden planks. There were shards of broken bottles littering the streets. When she walked through the doors of _West_ on the corner of 16th and K Street she wasn't the least bit surprised at what she saw. It was a dimly lit hole-in-the-wall.

The tables were oddly misshapened out of weathered wood. The tables and chairs didn't match. In fact, no two chairs were anything alike. Some were metal, some were mahogany, some were oak and some were covered in ugly paisley fabric. Sakura raised her eyebrows but kept her mouth shut. The floorboards were unfinished and creaked with every step she took. Long strips of the water stained paper were pealing off the grimy walls revealing deep cracks. Again Sakura refused to pass a judgment. The paintings were dusty and the windows were filthy. The place had character alright. A frighteningly thin woman was playing disturbingly nostalgic tunes on the dilapidated piano in the farthest corner from the entrance. There were a few couples seated at tables and a man sitting at the bar across the room. His eyes lit up when he saw Gaara and her walk through the door.

"Gaara!" called the man, seemingly delighted. "How the hell are you?" He stood up and met them at the front of the "restaurant".

"I am well," said Gaara in a voice that did not match the other man's in enthusiasm, though there was no hostility in his tone.

The man smiled a dangerous and reckless smile that contradicted his warm brown eyes. "This is her, isn't it?" he asked.

Gaara's expression turned sour. "I want food not conversation."

The man's smile grew wider. "This _is_ her." He turned and offered Sakura his hand. "I'm Ken. It's nice to meet you, Sakura. I've heard so much about you."

Sakura almost choked on her tongue. Gaara talked about her? To other people? _He_ talked about _her_? She couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of things he said about her. Did he tell him that she was pretty? Or smart? Or did he tell him that she was an evil bitch? Sakura laughed nervously, "All good things I hope."

Ken winked and gave a nod. "Oh yeah… he told us that he had never had a girlfriend before- we believed him of course, he's got a stunning personality. Then one night we stole some liquor from the Sarge's office and got completely pissed. The next thing I know, this guy can't shut up about some chick he's in love with. You should have heard the things he said about you, he-"

It was all Ken was able to say before Gaara's fist collided with his stomach and he was doubled over holding his gut in pain. "We want food," Gaara said through gritted teeth.

Ken groaned. "What the hell, man? You didn't have to hit me that hard!"

Gaara glared at him. "Maybe you deserved it."

"Maybe you deserve this," Ken said, socking Gaara in the shoulder.

"Fuck you." Gaara punched him again.

"Fuck _you_." Ken returned the blow.

Then it was Gaara's turn again, and then Ken's, and then Gaara again.

Sakura had to keep her hand over her mouth to contain her giggling. _This_ was her Gaara. Completely and utterly incapable of communicating or conveying his emotions appropriately. A minor scuffle with a man who Sakura presumed to be a friend of his didn't alarm her. As long as he wasn't beating strangers to a bloody pulp she was okay with a little bit of fighting. She took his hand in hers and tugged gently. "Not that I'm not enjoying watching you two boys make complete idiots out of yourselves but I haven't eaten since breakfast. I'm a little bit starving."

"Right," said Ken, straightening up and brushing his shoulders off. "Go ahead and take the empty table in the middle of the floor. I'll have Anoushka bring you something to eat.

Sakura almost died. Gaara had pulled out her chair for her. He was being chivalrous! It was only after she had sat down that she realized that something was missing. "Where are the menus?" she asked.

"We don't need them," Gaara replied, helping to push her chair in. "They only serve one thing here."

What kind of restaurant was this? She was almost afraid to ask. "What do they serve?"

Gaara shrugged and sat down. "It's some noodley stuff."

"Okay…" could he have been any more vague? What culture didn't sever some variant of noodles? She would just have to trust him not to poison her. "So how do you and Ken know each other?"

"We were roommates in military school," explained Gaara. "We've known each other for almost ten years."

So did that mean that they were… _friends?_ Gaara had a _friend_? What else had changed in the years they were apart? Did Gaara speak Swahili now? Did he wear women's underwear?

"So, do you want wine or something?" he asked after a long silence.

"Yes," Sakura answered automatically. Hell yes. She needed something to settle her nerves. Just when she was starting to feel comfortable the reminder that she didn't know him as well as she used to gave her the first date jitters.

"Lang!" Gaara called. "We want wine."

"Red or white?" Ken shouted back.

Gaara looked at Sakura expectantly. "Red," she answered quickly.

"Red!" relayed Gaara.

"Do you want that stuff in the carton or do you want one of the good bottles?"

Gaara growled. "What the hell do you think?"

Sakura wondered if Gaara had ever brought the Ice Queen to such an establishment. Sakura imagined that the cobwebs in the rafters and the chipped china would horrify a woman that snobby. Sakura on the other hand… she thought it was nice that Gaara had brought her somewhere that he was comfortable enough to relax. She wanted to keep him calm. There would be no freaking out on their first date. Things were already going so well and she had a good feeling.

She studied the man across the table from her. There was something about his face that made her want to smile. She could never tell what he was thinking. She could never understand how his features looked chiseled and strong while his eyes held a shadow of sadness. Her hair was still messy and wild. Sakura just knew that the only brush he owned was the one he used to clean his pearly white teeth.

"So," said Gaara's mouth. "I hear you're employed."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. Was this his way of attempting to start a conversation? She gave him an 'A' for effort but an 'F' on logic. He knew where she worked. He had been to her office. He had barged right in. He had donated thousands of dollars to her laboratory. Sakura realized as an afterthought that this had been his way of trying to impress her. Part of her wanted to giggle but the majority of her wanted to bang her head against the table. Of course she was employed!

"Yes," Sakura said, deciding to play along. "I have a great job." This was another perfect opportunity to tell him about Orochimaru. An opportunity she was going to go right along and ignore. "I hear you're a novelist."

Gaara nodded. "I'm working on a new book."

"What's it about?" she asked curiously. Was it another miserable pile of crap that would only serve to depress her? She knew that he had it in him to write something better than that. There was more to life than drowning. Gaara could write something heartwarming if he tried hard enough.

"It chronicles the journey of three single women living in the city who support each other through the trials and tribulations of love."

Sakura stared open mouthed at him. Did Gaara Sabaku just use the phrase "trails and tribulations of love"? Gaara was going to write chick lit? Was he out of his mind? Sakura realized that she didn't want Gaara to write something sweet and sentimental. "I'm sorry, but _what_ did you just say?"

"I lied," said Gaara with a small smile. "I'm not working on anything right now."

"Oh god," Sakura laughed and put a hand to her chest. "You looked serious. It's hard for me to tell with you sometimes." She didn't know why she felt so startled.

"You're a little more obvious," he said. "You weren't being truthful before when you said you liked my book."

Sakura blushed. She didn't think he would remember that particular lie. But then again, he told some of the biggest lies of all. Still, he had made a joke. A funny joke. This was the kind of change she could consider an improvement. She was in much too good of a mood to feel embarrassed.

It would be nice if she could say that after Gaara's little joke the conversation picked up and they had an in depth discussion about their lives and dreams. They could have talked about the history of paper bag making and she would have died of happiness. But no words left Gaara's mouth and Sakura was feeling too shy to press him. So instead they sat silently, watching the skeleton lady play songs with haunting melodies on that ancient looking piano.

But Sakura knew that this was not necessarily a bad thing. It wasn't an awkward silence per se. She would like to think that it was more of a comfortable silence. There was certainly no tension in the air. But still, she needed to be sure about it. She had reasons to be insecure with him. Nothing in their past relationship had been remotely secure. She decided to take a leap of faith. Sakura tentatively reached out and took his hand. The music seemed so fade away. She knew his skin would be cold. "Hey," she said quietly. "I missed you."

"That's stupid," he replied, his hand limp in hers.

She furrowed her brow. She hoped that this wasn't the start of his furious efforts to backpedal his way out of relationship territory. "Why's that?"

"I'm no one important." He started to pull his hand away but Sakura held tight.

Sakura was not about to sit there and listen to him put himself down. It made her heart clench to know that his self-esteem was still nowhere near where it should be. "You're someone _very _important." She nodded over to where two drunks were clinging to each other while they stumbled around on the floor in front of the piano. Sakura wanted an excuse to put her arms around him. "Ask me to dance."

"Dance?" Gaara repeated as if he had never before heard the term.

"Yes," she replied patiently. "You know where two people put their arms around each other and move rhythmically to a beat?"

"Oh." Gaara stood up. "Let's do it."

"Do what?" She wanted him to ask her properly. What happened to his chivalry?

He shifted awkwardly. "Dance."

Sakura sighed. He was hopeless. She could appreciate the flowers and the politeness but all she really wanted was for him to take a deep breath and relax. He was allowed to be a little nervous and unsure. It didn't make him any less of a man. Roses made her smile but that wasn't one of the things about him that made her knees weak.

Sakura was positive that Gaara knew how to dance. She had seen him dance with the Ice Queen. But that didn't mean she expected him to break out his happy feet. He _did_ however rest his hands on her hips and sway slightly. Sakura put her arms around his neck and she decided that this was good enough for her. She leaned in and kept her face close enough to his shoulder that she could feel the heat radiating from his body. His scent was unfamiliar and that excited her. It gave her something to think about. Why did he smell like nectarines and leather? She smiled stupidly and pulled him closer. She was more than a little pleased when she felt his grip on her tighten.

"This is… nice," Gaara said, his face expressionless.

Sakura couldn't gage his level of seriousness. He didn't sound like a man who was enjoying himself. Did he not want to dance with her? She felt her heart sink. "Yeah," she replied lamely. "Nice."

"I've been meaning to ask…" his voice trailed off.

"Mmm?" Sakura leaned back so she could look him in the eyes. Had Gaara been worrying about something? If it was important enough for him to open his mouth about it, Sakura was eager to listen.

Gaara avoided her gaze. "What happened to your boyfriend the artist?"

Sakura felt relieved of all things. Was he jealous? She liked the idea of him feeling a little possessive. It reinforced that he didn't just love her he wanted her too. Could she use this to her advantage? She didn't want to manipulate him. "He wasn't my boyfriend." She decided to tell the truth for once. "He was just a date."

"Good," said Gaara seriously. "He wasn't your type."

"Yeah," Sakura bit her lip and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. "I prefer redheads."

"Girls with pink hair are nice," Gaara murmured. He looked like he wanted to touch her face but his hands didn't leave her waist.

Either way Sakura was beaming at him. It was a compliment. Those words were Gaara's way of being sweet. This was the best date they had ever been on.

"Food," called a woman with frizzy grey hair. She set two plates down on their table. "Eat while it's hot."

Sakura eyed the steaming grey mass on the plates doubtfully. What the hell was that supposed to be? Would Gaara be hurt if Sakura couldn't stomach this mystery meal? She was just waiting for something to go wrong. Vomiting on the first course would constitute a dating disaster.

Gaara must have noticed her hesitance. "Just trust me on this one. Okay, Sakura?" He pulled her chair out for her and stood behind it. "This is my favorite."

Well, if it was Gaara's favorite…

* * *

Best. Meal. Ever.

The food was at least. The conversation was of course non-existent, but that might have been because Sakura had been too busy stuffing her face.

"I'm glad you're not one of those women who's shy about eating in front of men," Gaara said with another small smile.

"Fuck you, Gaara Sabaku," Sakura replied between mouthfuls. "I wasn't lying when I had said that I hadn't eaten all day."

His eyes were smiling now too. "At least save some room for dessert."

Sakura looked up from her plate. "Dessert?"

"Yeah, it's some cake-ish thing."

Sakura fought the urge to roll her eyes. Of course it was a "cake-ish thing". That was helpful information because before she had been picturing a lawn mower. Seriously though, what the hell kind of restaurant was this?

Well, it was Gaara's _favorite_. Gaara had taken her to his _favorite_ restaurant. Everyone knew that you took a girl you didn't like to a random restaurant. A girl you wanted to sleep with you took to a fancy restaurant. But that special girl, the girl you really care about, you take her to your _favorite_ restaurant.

So, Sakura could deal with it being a little bizarre. They were both a little bizarre. It was one of the reasons why she was crazy about him. It would have been disappointing if he took her someplace where normal couples went. They weren't a normal couple.

She had high hopes for them just as she had high hopes for "the cake-ish thing"

* * *

Sakura had heard the rain beating on the roof of the restaurant but she had ignored it, hoping that it would stop by time she and Gaara were done with the _delicious _cake-ish thing. It didn't of course. This was Gaara and Sakura's first date. It was supposed to be raining. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

Ken lent them a giant umbrella to share. He leaned in to kiss Sakura's cheek in a farewell gesture, but Gaara landed another blow to his stomach before his lips could get anywhere near her face. Was it so wrong that Sakura found this romantic?

"Goodnight, Ken," she said. Thank you for everything,"

"No problem," Ken replied in a somewhat strained tone. He was grinning nonetheless "Behave tonight, kiddies."

Sakura blushed. She hoped that Gaara didn't forget that he was on probation. She wasn't read to hop into bed with him just yet.

The couple left the restaurant together under the umbrella but as soon as they were outside Sakura realized that they couldn't walk separately under the umbrella and not expect to get wet. Gaara seem to have come to this conclusion as well but he didn't make any move to solve the problem. Sakura sighed. One step forward two steps back. Gaara needed to make up his mind.

Sakura took hold of Gaara's arm and draped it over her shoulders. She pressed her body against his and wrapped her arms around his chest. "Take me home?" she asked quietly. Gaara nodded and she felt his hold on her tighten. He kept the umbrella over their heads to shield them from the rain and they started down the street.

Unlike their first date a million years ago, this was a warm rain. The raindrops that made it past the umbrella didn't burn. The temperature was quite comfortable aside from the fact that they were both soaked to the bone. Sakura didn't mind the feel of the wet fabric on her skin.

The downpour strengthened and the raindrops pelted down on them like bullets from the sky. Sakura was slightly annoyed now. The forecast hadn't even called for cloudiness. She buried her face in Gaara's neck and she was vaguely aware of him leading her a storefront over hang. She looked up into his eyes and they wordlessly agreed that they would wait it out. She rested her head on his shoulder, and they watched puddles fill and steam rise off of the streets. They watched taxicabs drive by but neither of them made any move to hail one. They were in no hurry.

"I kind of like the rain," said Gaara absently.

"Yeah," replied Sakura softly. The citrus smell was stronger now and it was turning her legs into jelly. "I think of you when it rains."

"Do you?"

She looked up and saw that he was staring intently at her face. She knew that when a man said such few words a girl had to rely on what his eyes told her. Gaara's eyes had never been more unreadable, but she was able to discern one thing, and that was that he was thinking about her and his thoughts were not lighthearted. His gaze traveled downward and halted at her lips. Sakura felt her heartbeat slow. "Do you want to kiss me?"

"Kiss you?" Gaara repeated, his face gradually moving closer to hers.

Sakura could feel his breath against her face even in the humid air. He was so close she could almost taste him. She lifted her hand and brushed her fingers against his mouth. "It's when two people press their lips together."

"Yes," said Gaara. His mouth was just a hairs width away from hers. "I want to kiss you," he whispered.

Sakura's face broke out into a grin. "Well," she said releasing him, "you're going to have to catch me first!" She waited to see the look of confusion surface on his face before she dashed out into the rain.

She didn't know what had possessed her to do it. There had been a sudden rush of adrenaline and she had to move. She didn't want the night to end yet. A kiss would be the climax. She wasn't ready to let go of the thrill of anticipation. She wanted to draw it out and make him work for it.

"Wait!" he shouted. "Where are you going?"

Sakura didn't answer. Instead, she kept running across the street towards the park. She had no doubt that his legs were stronger and could carry him faster than hers could. It was why she needed as much of a head start as she could get. The rain felt so good on her skin. The water was washing away all of her problems and fears. There would be nothing to worry about now. She was getting a fresh start with Gaara, a new trial was starting and her apartment was freshly decorated and furnished.

Somewhere along the way she lost her shoes. They were an obscenely expensive pair, but her mind was too bubbly to care. She was only slightly inebriated. It wasn't the effects of the wine that were making her dizzy, it was Gaara. Gaara was intoxicating. It would only be a matter of time until Sakura was addicted. Gaara was dangerous.

And he was gaining on her. Sakura smirked. He could only catch her if he could find her. Sakura veered left and ran into the sculpture garden. It was the perfect place for a game of hide and seek. She weaved in and out through the sculptures, looking for the ideal piece to cover her from sight. The light from the street lamps illuminated the path and cast long shadows on the grass. She dashed underneath the bower to shelter herself from the rain and found a great marble statue of a general riding a horse. Sakura crouched down on her knees and tried to silence her panting.

The park wasn't the safest place to be after dark, and with her recent luck, it would be smart to avoid it altogether. And yet, she felt safe. It was foolish and irrational but Sakura didn't care. Gaara was somewhere in the vicinity and he would never let something happen to her. In the off chance that she couldn't protect herself, (which Sakura thought was highly unlikely), Gaara would fight for her and keep her out of harm's way. By this point she felt as if she could handle anything the world threw at her.

"You're insane!" Gaara called from somewhere in the distance. "Where are you?"

Sakura didn't answer. She didn't want to give away her position. Her heart was thumping against her ribs. She was acting like a teenager and she didn't care. She deserved a night of frivolity. She deserved to be happy. Life wasn't' about being perfect or being the best. It was about finding happiness and loving and making mistakes and giving second chances. When was the last time that she had to cover her mouth to stifle hysterical laughter? When was the last time that she had felt wet grass between her toes? It had probably been at least fifteen years since she had let go of her inhibitions like this. She was taking a chance. Hard work could only get you so far. Sometimes you had to risk it.

She didn't hear him approaching. He really did have this stealth thing down. She really didn't expect any less from him. The next thing Sakura knew, there were two strong hands gripping her waist, lifting her in the air, and twirling her around so that she faced him. "You're fucking crazy," he whispered between labored breaths. His words were harsh but his tone was just the slightest bit amused.

Sakura laughed. "You fucking love me for it." It took her a moment to realize the gravity held by that statement. The sound of the rain falling was deafening. He didn't know that she knew. He didn't know that she had heard his confession. What was he going to say now? Would he deny it? Sakura hoped that he wouldn't but she didn't know if she wanted him to say those three words just yet.

"It's getting late." Gaara dropped Sakura back onto her feet. He put his hands in his pockets and turned away from her. "I'll take you home now."

Sakura would be lying if she said that she wasn't disappointed. After all of that he was just going to let her go? They had been so close. Would another inch really be that big of a deal? When was he just going to let himself admit that this was what he wanted? He was already starting to walk away.

She wasn't going to let this moment go to waste. "Wait. Gaara, wait."

He turned back around. "Yeah? Hurry up, I left the umbrella on the sidewalk."

"No." Sakura sighed and reached for him. She wanted to show him what she was offering. "Give me your hand.

The idea seemed to trouble him, but he complied. "I don't know what…"

"Shhh. Just be quiet for a minute." She closed her fist around his wrist and pulled him closer. "I'm not going to hurt you."

She covered his hand with hers and she forced him to touch her face. The sensation was indescribable. Her heart began to race. She forced him to trail his fingers down her neck and across her throat. She left his hand on top of her breast and on top of her heart. "And you're not going to hurt me," said Sakura.

Gaara swallowed. He brought his hand back up and pushed the wets strands away from Sakura's face. "I promise," he murmured, threading his fingers through her hair. "That I will never hurt you again. I will always keep you safe."

And then he kissed her. He put his lips on top of hers and he kissed her.

Sakura's heart stalled, her breath caught in her throat, and the earth stood still. It was silent. Gaara tasted like rainwater. He was soft and he was hesitant but he was sincere. Sakura wanted to show him that he had every right to kiss her, that she liked his kisses and that she needed his kisses. She opened her mouth and let his tongue slip inside. They weren't the kind of kisses that left you hot and aching, they were the kind of kisses that filled your heart with helium and melted your mind. They were Gaara's kisses. They were incomparable to any other kisses that had ever been given or taken in the history of kisses.

She didn't want to let go but she needed oxygen. She gently pushed him away and couldn't help but laugh breathlessly. "You're a really good kisser."

Gaara rested his forehead against hers. "This might work."

This had better work. This had to work. Sakura didn't think that she could lose this again. "This is how it's supposed to be. We're meant for each other."

"I could get used to that idea." He took a step back and looked down at her feet. "I thought that you had shrunk or something. What happened to your shoes?"

Sakura shrugged. "They're somewhere around here."

Gaara sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. "Alright, Cinderella. Let's go find them." He shook his head. "This is going to take all night," he muttered.

"Yeah." Sakura winced. "Sorry about that."

"Unless…" started Gaara thoughtfully.

"Unless?" echoed Sakura.

"I could carry you home, I guess."

What the hell was it with this man? He can't hold her hand but he can carry her home? He's shy about sharing an umbrella with her but it was okay to _carry her home_. She hoped to the science gods that he didn't mean that he was going to throw her over his shoulder. "Yeah, that might be easiest," she said with an air of nonchalance. "If you're strong enough, I guess."

A look of determination crossed over his features. "Of course I'm strong enough." And to prove it he bent down and lifted Sakura up from under her knees and tilted her body so her back rested against his other arm. Sakura squeaked and scrambled to wrap her arms around his neck. Without uttering a singled word he started off into the night, walking as if her weight were nothing to him.

"Promise that you're not going to drop me?" asked Sakura nervously.

Gaara smirked at her. "Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how annoying you get. You're pretty heavy. Did you really have to eat all of that cake-ish thing and noddley stuff?"

"Go to hell, Gaara Sabaku." Sakura sat up and nipped at his ear. "I just love a good meal."

"Just wait until I take you to the place with the chickeny thing," said Gaara.

Did he just suggest another date? Long term relationship?! He _was_ serious about her. Sakura sighed happily and rested her head on his shoulder. This really was the best date they had ever been on, and she was looking forward to what was to come.

* * *

"This is probably going to make me sound nuts." Sakura laughed. "My boss is trying to intimidate me into doing something unethical. He's hired thugs to attack me and trash my apartment." Sakura had been dying to tell someone, so why not tell the person who she was paying to listen?

Dr. Soto was quiet for a moment. "Okay."

"Okay?" repeated Sakura. "Just like that?" Doctors were supposed to call their patients crazy after accusations like that. She had been expecting a little disbelief.

"Well, you're not paranoid or delusional." Dr. Soto smiled. "And believe it or not, I _can_ tell when you're lying. Therefore you must be telling the truth."

Sakura felt a rush of affection for the doctor. The last thing she needed right now was someone telling her she was crazy. "I told him to stop but I know he won't. He's insane."

Dr. Soto blinked. "Call the police."

The police wouldn't understand. Orochimaru would find a way around it. His crazy experiments had been going on for a long time. He hadn't met any resistance yet. It was obvious that he had connection. The police would ignore Sakura. And at the very least she would also look weak. Sakura Haruno was _not_ weak. She could handle this by herself. "I don't-"

"Why is it that successful women are incapable of asking for help? Sometimes you just have to accept that it's beyond you. Your life could be in jeopardy." Dr. Soto sighed. "Just call the police. Don't be stubborn. You don't want to get-"

"Do you think I would make a good mother?" interrupted Sakura. There was no point in wasting any brain energy on Orochimaru. If Dr. Soto's only advice was to call the police then Sakura didn't need the lecture. She had other things on her mind too. Some of her thoughts were more important then that creepy bastard.

Dr. Soto shifted in her seat. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?

Did she not hear Sakura or was she appalled that Sakura would even ask that kind of question? "Me, as a mother. Am I too screwed up to be a good mother?"

"Sakura…" Dr. Soto was silent for a moment. "You're not screwed up. I think that you would make a wonderful mother."

"I have a boyfriend you know…" Sakura tugged at the hem of her skirt. She had Gaara now. She wasn't ready to have his babies or anything like that, but she did wonder what it might be like to have a family with him. She was getting way ahead of herself but the thoughts themselves were fascinating. "I mean we've only been dating for two weeks, but I think we're pretty serious."

Dr. Soto raised her eyebrows. "Boyfriend?"

"We went out on our second date last night." Sakura smiled at the memory. "We went to this restaurant in little Italy. They hand make the pasta there. I've never eaten so much in my life. It was a little embarrassing though. Apparently he goes there often, only alone. So everyone was staring and whispering."

On the bright side, the head chef himself came out and served their food. He gave Sakura a carton of desserts to take home and sang to her in Italian. Gaara had once again been unable to make up his mind over whether he was thoughtful and romantic or bored and aloof. At least he was consistently handsome. Wherever they went, girls couldn't take their eyes off of him. Sakura decided that dinner with him was the highpoint of her week.

"And after dinner?" asked Dr. Soto.

"He took me home." Though they took a cab this time.

"And after that?"

"I went to sleep." She had been exhausted.

"Alone?"

"Dr. Soto, it was our second date!" cried Sakura. "I'm way classier than that."

And he was still on probation. She had to be sure of him first. She was already so emotionally invested in him. Having sex would make it too real. It would just be better to wait.

But that didn't mean that they both didn't want it. Because they really, _really_ did want it. With the way their wet clothes were plastered to their bodies… Gaara's dress shirt outlining every long and lean muscle… Sakura had invited him inside to dry off, and he had flat out refused. She had been confused at first until he explained to her that he wouldn't be able to control himself. If he took even one step into her apartment he would lose it. He told her in great detail exactly what he wanted to do to her and how long he wanted to make it last. Then, he turned around and left without even saying goodbye. Sakura was half tempted to call him back and make him deliver those words.

And last night had been just as bad, if not worse. Gaara had her pinned to the wall outside her apartment with his lips furiously kissing hers, one hand fisted in her hair, and the other inching up the inside of her thigh. When without warning, he suddenly dropped her like she were a sack of hot coals, and he again fled the scene without a goodbye. Sakura had been left dazed and struggling to regain her breath. It was almost funny if she could get over the fact that it was pure torture. Why again had she insisted that they take it slow? But it was sweet that he was playing along.

"My, Sakura," said Dr. Soto. "You've had a busy summer."

"Yeah." Sakura laughed. "I suppose I have. So much has changed._ I've_ changed."

"Is he going to make you happy?"

Sakura smiled and bit her lip. "He already has. When we're together… I feel… like its my birthday and all of my friends have thrown me an extravagant party, and I get exactly what I want. I get him." She shook her head. "I'm being so girly right now." She put her head in her hands. "Ah, this is so embarrassing."

"I take it that you have connected on an emotional level with this man?" said Dr. Soto. "It's okay to be excited about a new relationship."

Sakura's emotions were all over Gaara. She just wanted to be with him. Every minute of the day she just wanted to be with him.

Unsurprisingly, when they were together, she did most of the talking. But Gaara was a good listener and after a little bit of coaxing he even shared with her a little bit of details about his life at military school and what he studied in college. Some of the time they just sat in silence because just being in each other's presence was enough. He wasn't good with words and she didn't want to pressure him. When they were together she knew that he was thinking about her and that made her happy. She liked him just the way he was.

"I _am_ excited." Sakura couldn't keep a smile from spreading across her face. "I've never felt this way about another person before."

"I'm excited for you too, Sakura," said Dr. Soto. "But don't forget about taking care of yourself. Don't get distracted. You have problems to deal with."

"Of course. I'm on top of it all."

Dr. Soto continued with her lecture and Sakura stopped listening. She was supposed to meet Gaara later in the week. They were going to have breakfast together at the pier. He was taking her to his _favorite_ breakfast place. He said that he had something that he wanted to show her. Sakura couldn't wait to find out what it was.

She had Gaara in her life again. She couldn't even imagine what was in store for her next.

* * *

It was the first time in years that Sakura had watched a sunrise. It was a beautiful sight, but Sakura couldn't help but think that the red in the sky was nowhere near as vibrant as the red in Gaara's hair.

He looked adorable trying to balance the glass of orange juice in his lap and eating his powdered sugar covered waffle with his hands. Sakura had a sneaking suspicion that the shirt he was wearing now was the same that he had worn to bed. He didn't seem tired but there was a certain stillness to him. He was at peace. Sitting on the edge of the pier with breakfast, his girlfriend, and the sunrise gave him peace. Sakura didn't think it was possible that there was anyone else as remarkable as Gaara on the planet.

"This is good." Sakura folded in half the manuscript for Gaara's new book and tucked it under her thigh to keep it from flying away. There was a pleasant breeze this morning. She watched it blow Gaara's hair out of his eyes. He never ceased to amaze her. "This is _really_ good."

Gaara shifted awkwardly, but Sakura could tell that he was pleased. "It's just the first chapter."

"I know I'm a bit biased, but Gaara, this is going to be an amazing book." Sakura wished that there were more for her to read. It was unlike anything he had written before. There was heart in it. The narrator was determined. The odds were against him, but by the end of the book Sakura knew that he was going to survive and triumph. He was going to get the girl too. He wasn't going to go nuts and jump ship. Those days were over. Sakura had known all along that he was capable of writing something with inspiration.

"I just couldn't sleep. I just had to get it down on paper." Gaara took a sip of his orange juice. "I have the entire thing thought up in my head."

What else was going on in Gaara's head? Sakura didn't have a clue. Where was this energy coming from? Was it natural? She hoped that it wasn't drugs or mania. Sakura reached up and brushed the powdered sugar off of his cheeks. He stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. Sakura kissed his shoulder. There was only one way to find out. "We need to talk about something."

Gaara sighed. "I know."

"Are you…" Sakura didn't know how to ask. She stared into the water below them. She deserved to know. She should have asked him in the beginning. "Are you okay?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Sakura needed him to elaborate.

"I have ups and downs."

"Do you take your medicine?" That had been his downfall before.

"Yes." He stared into the water and began to absently trace indecipherable patterns on Sakura's bare thigh. There wasn't anything overtly sexual about it. It seemed to be more of a nervous gesture. "Everyday," he added.

"You're clean?"

"I smoke the occasional cigarette," he admitted.

Sakura could live with that. She wasn't sure what to ask next. "How long has it been since you… you know…?"

"I haven't had an episode in years." He continued with his ministrations on her leg. "But I'm not perfect. I still get angry sometimes."

"I don't need you to be perfect. It's okay to be angry sometimes." She kissed his shoulder again. "You don't have to change. I should have said it before. You really don't have to change. There is nothing about you that I can't accept." As long as he wasn't hurting himself. Drugs and mood swings hurt him. She couldn't stay with him if he was hurting himself. It would hurt her too much.

"I don't deserve you," Gaara said quietly.

Sakura smiled. Gaara deserved so much more in life. How was it that he didn't know how wonderful he was? "Too bad," said Sakura. "You're stuck with me. I've sunk my claws into you."

"Sakura…" he rolled his eyes. "You are _so_ weird."

"I just want you to be happy," she said in a small voice. "I'm happy when you're happy."

Gaara sighed. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"I'm happy, okay?"

She leaned back and looked up at his face. His face was calm and his eyes were serious. "Really?" she asked.

"Really." He said it with such finality that there was no way she could question it. His hand moved to hesitantly touch her face. "This is more than what I could have ever asked for."

Sakura always knew that Gaara could be effortlessly charming when the time was right. And the fact that he was unaware of this skill made it all the more sincere when those tiny compliments left his mouth. He really did care about her. She reached upwards and kissed him sweetly on the lips. "Why didn't we do this months ago?"

"We're idiots," he deadpanned.

Sakura scoffed. "Speak for yourself. I'm brilliant. This was my idea to begin with."

Gaara smirked "If by brilliant you mean insane, then yes, you are brilliant."

"Shut up, Gaara Sabaku!" she punched his arm lightly. She loved it when he let his playful side show "_I_ am the brains of this operation. You're the brawns." Sakura did love Gaara's muscles. She fought the urge to giggle.

"Right." Gaara downed the rest of his juice and then lifted himself off of the ground. "Alright, time to go."

She forgot how quickly playful-Gaara liked to vanish. "Go? Go where? It's a Sunday!"

Gaara rolled his eyes. "Well, Dr. Haruno, your new trial is starting tomorrow. We both know you have a mountain of paperwork to do." He offered her his hand. "And I want to get started on the next chapter."

Sakura let him pull her upright. She didn't want to do work! She wanted to spend the day with him. "I might not have time to see you again until next weekend."

"You'll survive."

"Go to hell, Gaara Sabaku." Sakura grumbled. He really was a jerk. "Can't you even pretend to be disappointed?"

"Neither of us are going anywhere. We spent ten years apart. Six days is nothing."

"Okay," Sakura sighed. He had made a good point. "But next Saturday there is someone I want you to meet."

"Yeah?" Gaara called over his shoulder, already making his way up the pier.

"Yeah," said Sakura, running to catch up with him. "Her name's Naomi."

* * *

**Okay. So that's the new version. Do you like it? I realize that you can't review a chapter more than once, but if you didn't review last time and have an opinion on the revised version of the chapter would you mind sharing? **

**Thanks! To everyone who did review the first version. You reviewers are one of my favorite things in this world. **


End file.
